nothing could aptly describe. no one can rightly challenge. no soul could seemly defy. welcome to my world. where i make the rules and you stick by them.

About Me

Standing by, All the way. Here to help you through your day. Holding you up, When you are weak, Helping you find what it is you seek. Catching your tears, When you cry. Pulling you through when the tide is high. Absorbing your voice When you talk. Standing by when you learn to walk. Just being there, Through thick and thin, All just to say, you are my friend.

Saturday, May 21, 2005

Effusion of Energy: 1405

I don't really have a penchant for bikinis. But I am beginning to discover that I like bikini, because 1405 gave me a card containing a girl in bikini. And I kept looking at it. At thbe words of course.
I am sorry I took so long before completing the blogs. Actually I am not that sorry. Instead of recording what has happened, I had plenty more happening moments with class 14!. How I try to divert attention, from Sherilyn to JIalin, how I always make fun of the girls + andrew..
That ZInc Tet always try to sabo me. I feel so indignified when my phone rang during biology lecture. Someday I shall put his picture up in PE dept and have all the PE teachers admire his next to goodness looks.
I like gossiping with class 14 also. They seem to be from my generation. Or rather I am attuned to their idiosyncrasies! I shall miss them a lot in the next few months. Perhaps every day I shall call zinthet just in hope tat he doesnt switch off his phone and so I can make a fool out of him.. NO , I am greater than that ! haha .
I hope Karen stops beating up people, there are actually a few guys who commented that she is sweet looking, if she continues to swing her punches, it might just be a tad harder to convince them to date her. Of coz, I guess maybe Guiliang and Andrew and most happy to see that happen.
I am glad to have taught them for the whole term. I cant say that my feelings will be reciprocated. To them I am just some slacker who does not chase them for homework! haha .
Sounds bad. Poor akshaya got no one to go to library with during mother tongue period le. And Myra and Felicia cannot be late for lessons without being scolded by Mr Neo. NO one to make fun of Kenneth and Sze Jia any more. No more.
I am no more.
Lights off.

Quiet and warm, 1005 is just like a blanket

I think maybe 1005 is not just a blanket. It is a mahjong set.
You can leave it lying around and you will not hear it make any sound. Find the right people, and bingo, you have the loudest music of marble tiles knocking against one another. Heard over the garble would be laughter and jokes and whines and complaints of how lousy or fantastic one's tiles are.
Got a very special friend. Lets call her a small pig. Came up with a quipped that will prove to be forever memorable and I shall certainly bring it up during every mahjong session to those who have not heard of it. "Everyone has PENG me. NO... I let everyone PENG le." LOLZ Quote and unquote. Translated. It loses its sting. But I don't really expect people to read my blog and play mahjong at the same time.
Ok. Got two very studious toddlers in the class. Brought ten year series to chalet and while preparing for the chalet. That is the way, study hard, wear thick glasses and score high marks. At the end when you get your perfect certificate, what memories will be left? What imprints have you left in your life? I can forsake fame and fortune. But I cannot live without freedom and love.
I think we should all work hard. I worked very hard in my time. I am prepared to work hard in future. Very hard in fact. So hard it makes me cold now that I think of it. And I intend to play very hard. I only live today once. I only breathe in this moment once. At the end, maybe I would wish I have more time and I have another chance to do the things I never did. But maybe right now this life is my second chance already. Do I want to sacrifice a friend for a distinction? I want both. What I shall sacrifice is what ever sleep or rest that I have. I want to do it right, once and for all. Love truly and deeply. Maybe there might not be meaning to everything. Too many questions and too impossible to answer.
Yet there is something called faith. Perhaps everything I love will be gone. Perhaps I willl be gone. Forever. But in the instant, in the moment when I lived and I loved. It is eternity. I have preserved my life in love. If I am gone, if there is nothing at the end, the magic of my heart would still be there, somewhere in time, someplace.
Ok, out of the trance. we did have plenty of fun. Ruined someone's kitchen! Weiteng's kitchen smells of fishes and their innards. And of course her hair. The hair that got everything stuck. Someday I shall mop the floor for her. Then we sang and sang, Qiuting and I like to sing along. Braving through the weird stares that the waiters always serve us with. We like our own voices. No one else does . There is Wee Khiang who 選擇 ÁË我, and ÎÒ选择了 他。How fun it is.
We gave every one goose bumps!
Walking in the night, filling the empty roads with our songs. Our melodies were so much faster and fiercer than those passing vehicles. Our spirits louder as well.. How memorable. A night etched in my heart and of course leaving strains in my thighs!
Forever.

A day in the life of a 2005ian.

What is so great about updating blogs? At least 2 people have told me it is time to update my blog. So update my blog I shall.
Yes , I spent many days as a 20/05 kid. One day at the beach, many days in class playing bridge while we skip mass civics. Pardon me if any teacher reads this. One gotta have fun in a while. I am not saying mass civics is not fun, I understand the amount of effort the teachers put into mass civics every week. But Life is just not enriching if no rules are broken.
I wouldnt want to have to say : I lived my life as any other.
So, I found out plenty from the FOG! Oh, I just realised that FOG is fog.. the kind of mist you get in a forest. I never took the word as a whole. Full Of Gossip. That was always my interpretation. How careless.
Let me make it clear from here. I like everyone in class 2005. No deborah, you thought I didnt like you. You thought wrong. I was a bit peeved when you missed one practical session or forgot to hand up your work and you tried demanding for a make up. Of course I know you meant no harm, so why should I bear a grudge.
Ever watch memento? or butterfly effect? or any other thriller suspense movies? Where the scenes come in snippets and you are expected to piece them together? Each piece is intended to misled. In war, you call it cryptogram. In class 20/05, I call it daily affairs. It is quite cool to hear different points of views about the same matter. Then you realise how one's actions and intentions may not be protrayed seamlessly.
Why do we have to read too much into words or actions. Just believe the best in everyone, wouldnt that make life easier?
Ok I am not at liberty to divulge further any more information I have. Lest I incur the wrath of the class. I have a secret blog which is kept from everyone. ALl details are recorded there. All secrets and gossips and true feelings. But It is shrouded by many other blogs and by a lack of identity.
Back to my day in 2005, I folded stars with them. In every star is a wish. I had folded stars before. Stored them in a glass bottle. I think I should not have done that. Stars are meant to remain in the sky. Put them in a bottle, they lose their shine, you put your wish within, your wish wither and remains trapped within the bottle. Only when the person whom you gave your stars to, has given you her heart, then maybe she would admire the stars regularly. Only then can the stars in the jar have the same status as those hanging in the sky. Those stars in sky luminate our night. My stars I wish for them to luminate her heart. To bring her brightness and beauty in the dark and when she is feeling sad, fill up her heart. Someone in the big big night sky, there is someone who is willing to create all the stars for you.

0105's message stands in my room, and memories of them stands in my heart

Breakfast took me a day. Yesterday was fun! Went out with WT and ST in the afternoon. Pretty much crapped through the afternoon at Swensens' while indulging in the fantastic chocolate icecreams and banana crumbles! I discovered two great friends in WT and ST ! After so long of sabbatical, it is time to start making friends and landing everyone into trouble !
I can still remember what I had told Anand when we were in JC. School is a place where friendships are forged and memories are created. Academic studies certainly can take a backseat. After all, equipped with a book, any one can learn. So my main purpose is to enjoy myself in school. Through living every moment surrounded by friends and creating unforgettable advantures with them!

Now this is supposed to be about 0105! A class really full of energy! The class that speaks in mandarin! With so many chinese students and chess playing experts and Basketball enthusiats. This class can really get very noisy! But the more responsible of them will initiate the big SHHHH and quiet everyone down.

I had just gone for Laiping's CO and Band raphosdy concert! I slept through much of band's performance! Not that is was boring, just that I was too tired and the music too soothing and hence put me in a light doze. Woke up 20 minutes with a neck pain. then The CO portion came on. I beamed with pride as I know that Laiping is up there together with my size 32 pants! So I pried myself up from the most comfortable position and paid massive attention.

Soon I was slouching and racing back to dream land... As I drifted into and out of dreamland, my thoughts were hazy and bits and pieces of time spent with 0105 happened to appear. Their class had inspired one of my most hilarious joke: who will die during an MRT emergency!
Chee Yong and Nicholas always making fun of each other. Chee Yong make fun and Nicholas dumbstruck! Of Coz Chee Yong makes fun of Iris as well and Laiping. Then I make fun of Chee Yong!

I had thought I am a master of Lame Jokes. But one moutain higher than another. The whole class together make me rethink that notion and I humbly accept their superiority and copiously try to learn from them! I can see that 0105 has a strong class spirit, most of them will turn up for my chalet! Maybe that night we can go for night cycling or try something that pumps the adrenaline!

Their blue card stands on my study table. Lots of well wishes and praises! I certainly hoped I made their physics lessons more lively and entertaining. I rather call it my clutter table because I dont use it for studying. But rather, I allow a whole mess of things to build up. Then my mother will help me pack up and these stuff will mysteriously disappear! But my card, I have instructed her not to remove it! I hope to show the card to my son and daughter. To show to my grand children. That their dad and grand dad is a fun loving and adventurous person, that I have lived my life to the most I can squeeze out of it. That I tried my best to show concern and bring happiness to those I come across.

As I continue on 1305

So I trailed off at the point where I received a placard from 1305. There were paper cranes on it, and they had used toilet paper to 'stuff' the bikini! It was hilarious afterwards when I examined the structure of the whole thing.

Then the class rep announced that they had prepared 2 songs for the departing teachers and student,as well as the birthday kids. I was immensely touched by the efforts they had put into this celebration.

Then a twinge of regret hit me, as I wish I had more time to spend with them, more time to find out about the character and know each and everyone of them. I could sense a loving spirit within them and that was something so invaluable. Much more than any amount of intelligence or athletic abilities can do to touch a person's heart.

Definitely I realized that the most wonderful things can happen in the most unlikely places. In every one of us, there is a well of kindness and because of that, every one is precious. I had almost forgotten that. When life gets too comfortable, we tend to forget about the simpliest things in life. Thankyou class 1305!

Friday, May 20, 2005

The day 1305 touched my heart

Today I learnt a very important lesson. Far more important than any Biology topics I have every learnt. It was a lesson on the cardiac cycle and brain circuit. Not in the anatomical or scientific sense. BUt In a manner most profound and philosophical.
In chronological order, the sequence of events:
1 friday many weeks ago, class 1305's bio teacher had to go for a 1-day seminar. I went to their class to stand in for the tutorial. I had prepared scarcely for the lesson. Even the answer scheme was not with me. I guess the class were pretty unimpressed with me. They were quiet bunch, and that impression was left upon me as I left the class.
Another friday 2 weeks later, I went to the same class. I began to recognise some of them. Not by names but at least by faces. I thought they were hardworking. To me, I had always thought that some mischief is essential in the scheme of things. Conscientiousness was hardly a virtue I can boast about. To sum it,the class and I were quite different entities.
This week: 2 tutorials and 1 practical.I prepared for the lessons. I read up and I made sure the answers I provide the class is adequate. Made sure the answers were suited for BIOLOGY. And not merely A'level examinations. I had more confidence and had more to offer to the class. They received it well. Perhaps I did change abit of their opinion of me after all. With confidence, explanations were clearer, discussions were smoother. Like begets like. During practical, they had invited me to attend a celebration their class organised. I thought it was for ELvin and Mr Tan SL. I did not give too much thought to it except for feeling grateful they invited me.

Today afternoon: 3pm. 21st May 2005. I arrived outside the classroom they told me to go to. They were still preparing. I felt that Elvin really had this special thing about him that attracts people to him. I smiled at the change in our status from being students to being teachers.

Almost got lost in my thoughts. Then 1305 got ready and invited us in. Music was being played. The atmosphere was so different. The music coupled with the attention of 25 students, with a cake in the middle, candles being eaten away by an aerial flame. Now that I think about it, it feels like when I was reading about Cinderella: the moment when she stepped past the granduer doors into the ballroom grand palace to attend the dance held by the Royal Family.

Elvin had his camera ready. Then something caught my eye. A placard with a yellow bikini on it. Or specifically a yellow polka dot bikini made from colored paper and padded with toilet paper. There were many placards. The class rep announced that today 4 people will be leaving the class and another 3 are having their birthday.

I knew immediately that the placard with the yellow polka dot bikini was meant for me. That was totally unexpected. I had not taught the class long enough to deserve such a beautiful gift. I know the bikini was made in good natured jest and I was actually grateful for their attention and effort.... to be continued

Tunes in my Heart

I feel like blogging. I am about to blog. Wanted so much to talk about what happened today.
There are angels lurking everywhere. I was given a lesson in love today.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

I feel the wind, I feel the darkness.

one am . I am seated in front of my computer. The window view is accessible and I would peek out of it to check out the slightest sound that comes from below. The street is illuminated barely by the orange lamp posts. Every thing is darker, that they seem to assume another color. The trees are greyish and the roads are white.
Occasionally a car would pass by and break the monotony of the road. A car would not be as noisy as a motorbike. Motorbikes would speed through the stretch of road just visible to me and emit a tearing sound that makes me fear if they would just cut the road into two. Why am I describing the irrelevant? These automobiles and my window and the road are inaccessibile to me. They cannot reach me except by sound and light, both of which cannot do any physical damage. Yet I feel a stirring.
Tonight was a lonely night. Lonely as in alone. With plenty of sound and musics. I had gone to sing. One of my favourite activities. Just listening to yourself. And feel the song. Or if you feel tired, just listen to the song. Nothing out of the ordinary happened. I sang the songs I like and the songs I always sing.
爱相随
别想你, 忍 不住提 醒我自己。
伤了心, 有些事要过去。
心很痛, 痛的不想再做我自己。
情已去,
How I miss this song. And the person I would want to sing this song to. 10 years ago. And Most of all I miss myself. How I have changed...

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

interrupted by mayonnaise and chicken

Was beginning a new entry when I was lured by chee siang to the canteen. Not that I am really hungry. Most of the time I go canteen just for the company of those who are eating. Ok back to soccer.
Chelsea has stopped winning. Despite all that they have said, how Mourinho is saying that there is 99.9% chance of winning and all pressure is on liverpool, chelsea lost. I was gripping the edge of my sofa as I watch the game progress into the last few minutes. How I shared in that frustration everytime a shot is made and it is blocked by a REd in the fully packed penalty area. The tactics were spot- on. Chelsea lacks the kind of player who can penetrate the stoutest defence. Arjen and Kezman failed to do what they were put on for. No Lampard's miraculous 50 metre shot, no John Terry header. NO Drogba pulling the defenders to one side before sending the ball into the danger zone to a teammate. None of that. Was it a disappointment?
No. the team is ambitious, the team manager is unscrupulous. They are no Ronaldhinos or Shenchevos because no player has ecllipsed the collective team . They function well as a united group. In defense or attack. If I were to recall, they have not lost mnay games or battles with conceding more than 2 goals. I find them enthralling and with plenty to look for. I totally accept what Mourinho is doing, how he pyschs his players and plays mind games with the other managers.
Because at the end of the day, it is just a game of football. No matter if you label it as a classic or history making, the future will see that it would be forgotten. The future will always see more history being remade. At the end, despite all the hostilities exchanged in the press, the players and coaches would still remain as good friends. If they do not see the trivialness of it all now, they would do so eventually when they hang up their soccer boots and quietly walk off the pitch.
Meanwhile, Chelsea is entertaining. Real Madrid is entertaining. These two teams have captured my attention and I shall wait in eagerness to see how these teams remodel history of the past, how they strive to attain that penultimate European glory. And this month, I shall turn to Istanbul and watch if Liverpool being so enigmatic can overcome the most dangerous team in the world.. AC milan

1 week, same tie, same place and 1 goal

Tired. With barely 3 hours of sleep yesterday night, how can I not be tired?
Champions LEague is just so exciting, soccer is gaining its hold on me. It is always a good thing for