Beautiful .

Blogging is beautiful. Just as how attractive the mind is when most active, a blog is a captured still from that attractive mind.
Even if you record down the worst of your days, they might seem special when u look back upon them. Or when someone else chances upon your work and realised that someone is actually having a tougher time out there.
K i am the ever-optimist! Life always has some luminous side to it even in the darkest of the nights. Why do I mention that today?
Why are thoughts like darkest nights, worst of days flashing across the field of my mind? I have no idea. Perhaps I have been through such days, such unpredictable and despondent times that now I know how to treasure even that weak trace of light or freedom.
Just some thoughts about those who devalue life. Those who attempt to throw life away just because they thought suffering would end with their ending of their lives.
It was a valuable lesson last thursday. Exactly a week from now. The guy who tried to commit suicide is still in IMH, Institute of mental health. I had told him or rather i had concurred with him that maybe all misery to oneself ends with the last breath. The moment when consciousness is lost irreversibly, all feelings of pain are gone. Yes dying might be a solution to one's suffering.
I am not a believer in the divine. I do look up to someone out there. Some one who watches over me and I love who ever created this whole world for me. BUt i am more of a scientist. Becoz i have yet to see or hear or touch the impossible, I chose to think that death is the end of it all. SO if i feel pain now, I can choose not to feel it, just by dying.
Yet is that what existence is all about? is pain really that horrible? is fear really that threatening? Many may think that i have been leading a sheltered life, a smooth sailing life, with success lurking at every corner and fortune smiling at me at every turn. What do i noe abt fear of the future? of failure and desperation? The truth is I might noe more abt them than you can imagine.
Not everyone is destined to live out his or her dreams. Because dreams are boundless, the sky is not the limit, dreams are euphoric, utopic in nature. Hence when we dream , we subconsciously promise ourselves that we must attain that pagoda of estacy. No, many people's dreams are way too high, too shrouded beneath the clouds, whether they are fair weather clouds or thunder clouds.
I too failed in a dream. A dream of which I clearly knew I had the potential and I did achieve it. Yet only to have time snatched away from me and my potential wasted. Or maybe I should not say that time was snatched away from me. Instead, I had squandered it away, had been foolish enuf to think that noone is my match and that I was beyond all rules .
Back to dreams, perhaps the only way to live dreams for many people would be to dream less, to have more life-like qualities in our dreams. To base it upon objective abilities and not imaginary ones. To live them in many small dreams so that each are equally attainable and yet sum to a big dream that one step alone would be insufficient to reach.
My advice to the guy, yes if u are convicned that your existence has been marred by a mistake and that you are suffering, death would stop it. Definitely. I do not noe about the punishments of such an act when viewed religiously. But i believe that yes death is an end. Not a release. Definitely not. Because you do not get freed, no sudden appearance of a large meadow when you run wild and unshackled. No such release. And the moment you choose to end your suffering, you end it for yourself. BUt as with the conservation of mass or energy, sufferings may go from you onto another person. And that would be your next of kins.
I did not say in such fanciful terms. I had simply said, your death is going to sadden your parents tremendously . ANd we do not live our lives solely for ourselves. It is an interconnection. you are going to leave behind broken hearts, hearts that never stop bleeding.
Stand up. Be brave. The world may trap you, everyone may be against you. BUt that is because they are stronger than you. Just like when the Nazis were in power, when the japanese were in power, they killed plundered and pilfered . There was no way out. But that is because they were stronger.
People slip, the world slips. You may be oppressed, you may be tormented by the world. Not physically, not directly. BUt in the form of social pressure. The expectation the world or society have of people whose voices were not heard when these expectations were decided.
So become stronger. Learn to live with it. Understand it totally. And build up your character day by day, let every apparently insignificant tasks be a step in your training. So that as you become stronger, take notice of when slips occur and make your break when the time is right. That is the only way to survive.
The only solution to suffering. Because only with survive can we find happiness. The whole point of suffering is not to end it. But to turn it into happiness, into a part of your memory, into a factor that contributes to a life that you waant.