A whole load of crap

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast,
it is not proud. It is not rude,
it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no records of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth.
it always protects, always trust,
always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.

This was read to the Yunnan group last year, read every day by our lovely leader Jingjing. She is currently in Australia or New zealand. I have been meaning to write her an email for ages and yet have not been getting down to it.
Recently I have been procrastinating alot. Really lazy. Some people wonder if I am in medicine at all. I hardly go to school for lectures. Only the meetings for Yunnan and Judo in the late afternoon will I make an effort to travel down. I am really in an enviable position. I am well on course to achieve almost everything I set out to do, and yet now when I am required to put in the most effort, I am found lacking in spirit. This lack of enthusiasm could well be my downfall. I am trying to shake off the lathargicity that I have taken so much care to cultivate over the past few months.
I have no idea why I am still blogging. Usually that is a task I reserve for periods of inactivity. When I have absolutely nothing more important things to do other than to announce to the whole world what I am doing. Maybe bloggers are egomaniacs, thinking that what transpired in their lives are worthy of everyone's attention. Some people are bored enough to read. Maybe that is why. Certainly I am an egomaniac. I do not like competition. Because I think no one is good enough if I care to try. Shoot me. I am such a self assured delusional ass. Of course I do not go around declaring to everyone , anything you can do , I can do better. I am a closet swanker. Not wanker.
I am glad that the mid autumn festival project got on to such a resounding success. The profits are almost triple that of a normal project. It was pure luck that I am the group in charge. That quite a few people felt that the profit margin versus effort is too low and had vehemently advised us against embarking on this project. And we just did it anyway. I seem to be ignoring a lot of advice recently. Most of them are good actually.
Someone had commented that I am never stressed. Nothing that I cannot do with a bit of effort and actually doing it. No sweat. But now the getting down and doing it seem to be getting quite hard. There is still the inter varsity competition to organise. There is still a combined martial arts camp to think about. I am the new project director for combined martial arts display next year. There is Yunnan 2006. Did I mention my studies? I seem to be doing everythign but studying for the past few months. Now I seem to be doing nothing but.. no . no buts, not even studying. Good job. A fool proof recipe for catastrophe.
I am glad to be rid of two tuitions, but I still have 3 left. It was something I was very good at and enjoyed doing. I used to find it amusing when I told people I was going for tuition during my army days and some had asked if I was the student. Yes I was moonlighting. Something not condoned by the army. So what. I know at least half the camp does that. Maybe thats why I am in such a position to flout rules. I know your little dark secrets.. Anyway I am getting more and more tired of teaching. A profession I would have not hesitate to enter. Maybe my students are getting crappier. I like macdonalds and long john silvers. Especially if I can have my tuitions there. Occasionally it would be MOS and everyone is so wonderful. Nowadays, there are some teenage horrors in our jcs. Ever heard of the headless zombies? I encountered a few brainless zombies before though. Certainly I would be fired on the spot if the parents have access to some of the more murderous thoughts that accompany my exaspiration sometimes.
I used to be more caring and patient. I did not hesitate putting in a few more half hours just to ensure they understand. BUt now I am less loving and not as enduring. But I am more efficient and more expensive. It is certainly not all about money unless there is a lot of it. Where are my ideals? Well they used to be colorful and exciting. Now they are less colorful but colorful nonetheless: green and red and blue and with words like Monetary Authorities of Singapore. And exciting when I think of how many ipods and xbox360 I can get with each salary. Nevermind that, my students are still getting their As and Bs, that is all that matters aint it? Guess I won't be winnning the best teacher award this year.
There are a few people I am really wanting to meet. My old friends. I never seem to have time for many people. People I really miss. There is anand, back in malaysia finally. When ever someone mentions rebonding, I would think of his dark, wet and shiny curly locks and our threats of making them real silky and straight. Elaine just left for UK again and I missed our appointments coz I was too busy. Think it pissed her off a bit, maybe just a bit. My apologizes. Then there is Amy who sometimes msg me online and I will take forever to reply. Usually forever means a few weeks. And she will just be screaming and and nuking my screen. I just miss her. As in I just failed to notice her. Then there is Irwin kenneth meikhay and jez and zhian. We are all adults! Can you believe it, I thought it was just a while back when we were pissing off overhead bridges and fighting with pplastic swords. A few of my pri sch classmates are working in the CBD! Central business district. Secretaries, bakers, no bankers i mean, financial officers and so on and so forth. There is Jez who is in an arts/ threatre productions company if I never fail to remember correctly. and Meikhay who is a professional speaker! Then there is edelene and siru and yishan.
Why do I have so much time? It is 2 am in the morning already. For me my usual bedtime would be at dawn, how unlike a vampire. I shall try to change that today.
Goodnight