dear God! if I cannot be happy, at least let those whom I care for be!

Ever felt isolated from the world? That there is no one in the vicinity? Not in the next 100km radius? You cant see everyone, yet you can feel people trampling on you. Every turn and every corner just seems to bring about unpleasantness? And that is how I feel. I suddenly wish I could hate everyone and wish I will just pass my unhappiness and anger on. Then I realised that I cannot. Instead I wish no one feels as sucky as me. I think crying is such a wonderful thing. Then I sent out this gooey mushy sms. to some people. In the end got plenty of criticism. Ha! Just when I was trying to be nice. Thot it might just cheer up some people. At least People like KT replied decently. hah Ruddy actually said I was being gay. Shall kick his ass the next time I see him. Back to my self-wallowing state, I may have achieved alot , yet I often wonder about the meaning of life. What good is academic and sports acheivement? What is the point of being so good at eeverything and being totally in charge of your life? Being so totally in control of yourself. I just wonder. Here I am, at 21 whining like a 16 year old girl with a pink blog and plenty of pictures of herself and gang. One who bitch about how lonely she is, how the taxi driver tries to chat her up and other trivial and seemly unimportant matters of life. Not that I know any one like that. But that is the general impression. The only 16 year old I know is pretty much in hot soup. With the O levels approaching, I hope he gets his (a^2 - b^2) = (a+b)(a-b) right pretty soon. Yesterday I went for Irwin's bday party. One of my oldest friend. One who really went through a part of life with me, a part I never will forget. Then he said something which struck me as very true." To my friends who have been through shit. " How true. Having the best of times not neccessary translate to forming a strong friendship. But when you go through shit together, the bonds formed are irreversible.