Cut N Paste from 2 days ago

Just realized. Energy and vitality are not synonymous. I never seem to run out of energy. I went without food the whole day. Sat through 4 hours of tuition. Finished 2 books. And yet I find the energy to work my fingers insidiously across the keyboard. My brain is still functioning. Almost perfectly. Give me a riddle, a 2nd order differential equation, a tacky situation, and I shall provide you the opposite of what you gave me. But I don’t sense any drive in me. No urge to do anything. Even the blog that I so wanted to write, the revelations and the side splitting stories that I conjured on my bus journeys.. All became gusts of impressions, nothing distinct.. all is blurred.
I don’t feel vitality sapping out of me. It is already gone early into the night. No worries. Just a few hours of sleep and I shall be bouncing around and causing miniature earthquakes.
What do I talk about tonight? What does the world want from me? Indeed there is much I can provide. As I so firmly feel, that the universe is contained within our minds. No doubt that the world wants a slice of that vast space. I couldn’t focus on my carnitine cycle. Can’t memorize the steps of fatty acids breakdown or gluconeogenesis. I was never that skilled at committing stuff to memory. At least my short term memory doesn’t function like a sponge.
Life is full of ironies. I never taught that one day I would hold a Ci Yu Shuo Ce ( handbook of Chinese words) and instruct others how to recall from memory words from the book. I never taught I would write out the entire shapes of molecules topic, examples included from memory. My memory, like wine, gets better with age. I was never the perfect student. Almost always grouped out for not completing my work..(grouped out because a large group of us and not just one in RI would be made to stand outside of classrooms for failing to do our homework.. .. )
Heck, most of the time I did not even know about the homework. After all, as long as you kept your eyes open and escape from the harassment of an overzealous teacher, your mind is free to roam, most of the time mine was on extended vacation. How can I be a slave-driver, it is so undemocratic. I was skilled in absorbing information from the homework of others, with my bullet speed handwriting, I was able to deposit enough carbon on my worksheets or foolscap paper to make it resemble a tablespoonful of effort.
I never did any studying during the holidays until JC, which I did during the first June holidays and realized that old habits die hard. The rest I spent going to camps, on Judo, on outings and other ridiculous matters.
I can always recall with pride and fondness the silly things I did during the A’levels. Brought my mum to watch Emil Chau in action. I couldn’t have cared less if his concerts had fell on the eve of any examination. Let alone 2 weeks before. Then there was the Guru during the first week of the exams. What a wonderful movie. Its sexually therapeutic effects released any hold the haunting bio paper might have on me. Then there was the night when I fell asleep on Elvin’s bed when we were supposed to revise for physics. At least the rest of the guys woke me up when it was time to go home.
So we partied before the exam ended. At least for the rest of the class they had no Physics S. Woe befell me as I returned from Suntec as I recall with total and absolute disgust that the next day I will be sitting for my physics S. I went in the exams with my mind blank. Took half an hour or so to warm up and get into gear. Sometimes the feeling still make me recoil in fear. How hilarious. How I had wanted to score badly for my midyears in order to get motivated for my A’levels