nothing could aptly describe. no one can rightly challenge. no soul could seemly defy. welcome to my world. where i make the rules and you stick by them.

About Me

Standing by, All the way. Here to help you through your day. Holding you up, When you are weak, Helping you find what it is you seek. Catching your tears, When you cry. Pulling you through when the tide is high. Absorbing your voice When you talk. Standing by when you learn to walk. Just being there, Through thick and thin, All just to say, you are my friend.

Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Is history repeating or was it the future manifesting in advance?

Time and time again, the same thing happens.
I shall not wait and go to sleep already.
Good night diary.
But i had a good night anyway
d;

Tuesday, June 29, 2004

From darkness

Good day my dear blog. guess i am getting increasingly attached to you. Wanted to visit you in the afternoon, but couldnt get the computer in time for a chanced encounter. Yah another tiring day. My days are making me increasingly tired. Perhaps it is an accumulation of weariness. I need plenty of sleep, something which i hope to get over the weekends.
I am in a chirpy mood for the night. Despite the hectic day and neverending work, the evening brought with it good news and rewarding work. I gave tuition to jeremy, trying to teach him binomial expansionl. Actually i hope to complete the Alevel syllabus before he reaches 17. My methods are crude but effective. For he is rather bright. In time he shall figure out the reasons. I taught him how to answer questions. Just follow a fixed example for specified questions. Gave him plenty of formulae to foollow.
Hopefully he will reach Nirvana in due course.
then i was wondering how to spend tomorrow night. And Mindy just msged me asking for tuition. She is another interesting person to teach, quite sure that in the end she will get all distinctions. Maybe this year can get her to aim for 2 special papers.
The earphones were inseparable from me today. I melted in the melodies of emil chau and eason chan. Their songs suggested a world of loneliness and shattered hearts.
Though I have never fallen madly in love with any one before. Their songs communicated this deeply human and teary sense of loss when one is separated from his love.
I shall translate one song which i found to be meaningful recently. By Mayday, it attracted me becoz I haad heard it in a rather special situation with the right people and the lyrics are vastly meaningful.
A beautiful song requires not only a soothing tune but also words that can trigger a whole spectrum or kaleidoscope of feelings.

Daniel Chan Hear me cry.

You couldnt say, needed someone new
you actually thought, deep inside I knew
can you tell me, how can you say
why this should surface
you passed me by and your heart as cold as ice
did you see me cry ?
did you see me cry ??
Can you hear me cry?
Will we ever grow apart?
you couldnt say, needed someone new.
and you .. actually thought.. deep inside I knew.

I couldnt translate the song to make it beautiful.
so I shall try again another day.

the lights had just gone out. A total blackout in the regions of sengkang, punggol and many other areas in Singapore.
No lights, no fan, no TV and no computers.
A rather quiet and peaceful moment.
My parents tried looking for candles to supply us with light, no matter how feeble.
Couldnt find any, until they saw a packet of birthday candles I had kept from two weeks again.
So we lit up those and instantly became a source of relief
filling us up.
It is actually not bad to be living without the modern day light bulb, the moon is actually bright enough for illumination.
I shall talk more about spending the night under the naked sky. Under the myriad of stars and blanketed by the wind of the wild..

Monday, June 28, 2004

Misty eyes..

I had left my specs behind.. realised it only too late. Now me staring at the screeen with beady eyes and vision misting. ok lemme recount what happened today.
I woke up. To two guys standing over me. I was quite cool about it and did not practise my Fren-kien on them . Stil they had roused me from sleep and I simply laid around. A sort of bliss knowing that as minute passed, the closer I am to doing real work. Yet it it this knowledge that I am still slacking away.. which is most comforting.
I had gone for a suntan and a run yesterday . No muscleache. Guess my muscles are well toned, just that I lack stamina. Managed to do my 2.4km in good time.. but ended up breatheless.
In the morning it was real hectic. as usual. Plenty of shit to clear. Tonnes of work accumulated from the previous months lie there waiting for me to put their affairs in order and rest them in peace.
In the afternoon I went to NUS. Seen this fellow with anxiety disorder. And this Psychiatrist, a Major. The Psy was very friendly, a sort of overtly humble and down to earth neighborly fashion, even to the degree of reminding me of servitude.
So he is a big shot, yet he apologized to his subordinates in a peer-like and polite manner. No wonder he is a psychiatrist. I think if I would like to do plenty of Neurology and Psychiatry in future.
So I left for my tuition at East Coast Terrace and then rushed to Admiralty for another one. Had to take cab twice and got lost twice. I really hate public transport.
ok I shall mention what two things I hate most. First being public transport... The buses never come when I need them. The earliest would be 15 minutes after the time I am supposed to reach my destination. I hate TIBS. They suck big time. And because of the area that I have to frequent, TIBS are routine in moi trips.
Next would be people who just block my way. regardless of old or young. I simply will stare at the back of their head in hope that my glare would drill a hole into the Occipital Bone and cause their brain matter to just spill out.
Ok. Today Jane called me during tuition. Msged me saying she misses me. Haha That did bring a smile and even coaxed some laughter out of me. It has been a long time since I tokked to any one on the phone. I think I will enjoy tokking to her. Did call her on my way back .
I like music. I like the feelings when I am caught in the melody and lyrics of love songs. I am a romantist at heart. Like the feeling of missing someone. Someone I cant even pin a face to.
K I am not in the mood to continue because my parents seem to be withholding something from me. Thanks. I had a wonderful two hour period today. Thanks the world for wonderful people!

Sunday, June 27, 2004

The first time writing a blog. On a sunday

OK. How shall I begin? Should I write it with the intention of 'freezing' this day electronically or shall I write with the intention of letting the world know about this day in my life? I guess I shall just leave this question lying around. And I shall just concentrate on describing the day. I began this day by waking up, very early in the morning. Of coz the sun was not even out. Residues of saturday still remain as I open my eyes. Checking the clock, the minutes hand has just passed the 12am mark. I had slept the evening of Saturday away. This whole week has been tiring for me. As of all the previous weeks. BUt the only difference being I managed to sneak some rest in this week. SO I awoke with renewed vigor. Knowing that this new found strength won't last, I tried to make the best of it.
An hour later, as tiredness crept in, I realised that I had just wasted an another hour online. I am always wasting hours online. This must change. I wonder whaT is it about the internet that is drawing me in. The world is relying alot on this invisible network. People live their lives in this. I am in the danger of becoming entrapped. Or have I already been snared?
Ok, lets not ponder about that question although I know the answer perfectly well. So I managed to catch the match between Netherlands and Sweden. The only heart thumping moment appeared after the 90+30minutes of normal play and extra time. As I watch the players rocket the ball past the goalkeeper, I began to miss my own game. I had accidentally deleted the FIFA world cup on my computer.. And when I tried to install it again, I realised I had lost the code. Darn. My comp is always dying out on me recently. I hope I did enough to restore its processing capacity and troubleshot the problems.
Ok, fast-forward to 12 hours later. I am in front of another computer. Not the one at home. The one in a place I do not really like going to. Shall keep this location a mystery. I have work on my hands. PLenty of work. A whole year of work. So I had better get my ass off this computer chair and onto another one which allows me to concentrate on my work.
Ok OK . Let this be a brief introduction to my life. My birthday had just passed. Got plenty of presents. A white teddy bear tops the list. haha It does not have a backbone. Guess when I am a full-fledged Doctor, I shall set his problem right. Of coz more than presents, what I got for birthday this year are wonderful memories. These memories will accompany me through the harshest and coldest part of my life. The most significant people were all invited for my birthday already. Of coz I had invited a few essential but unimportant people along.
I love singing. Not a great singer, just good at certain songs. I am singing along with the radio right now. This song means something to me. I believe.
Well That is enough for now. I have plenty of opportunities to continue later on!