6.19am

This has not been a very good week for me. The ants have finally arrived on my desk. The sweet wrapper which was left there for so many days attracted them and it took both my hands and some dexterity to kill every single ant. I do not tolerate ants in my room. Just like I do not tolerate certain things in life.

I am not really bothered by things that I do not tolerate this week. Rather it is people who cannot tolerate my absence who are bothering me. I hope and pray for a peaceful resolution. I do not wish my holidays to be collateral damage but that seems highly possible. As always I am speaking in code because those who know, know. Those who do not, may it stay that way.

I went for a movie with XT. The girl who has not been kissed. At least not by her most recent past of a boyfriend. Never been kissed. It was a favourite movie of mine. Drew Barrymore. Too bad XT has never watched it before. Neither can I recall the content to recount it here. I feel the urge now. To the toilet. After all whatever she has been telling me about JNR is really shitty.

But her ex sq is not much better. Even though he is a fabulous boyfriend. Just not to her. And can you believe it? Her first was a malaysian. There is really nothing wrong with malaysians. AFter all I am half a malaysian. My mum is one. But maybe it is just the idea of XT's last two screw-ups that made the first one look bad. Or maybe I was just joking about it.

Then came the really freaky part. Meeting JNR at udders. After I had promised to push him into the Singapore river if I bumped into him there. I am glad I did not have to drown him in ice cream or anything. He was behaving really adulterously with his two female companions. I guess the Pandas do not really like him. Neither does the pig.

The movie DMC was quite funny. Despite the Newpaper putting down the acting of L and saying that the transformation between Mr Krauser and Negeri is too alarming and drastic. It was simply meant to be a comedy. A movie. Not an autobiography. The movie before that was Marley and Me. Another movie which I enjoyed because of the choice of companion. In fact I was the chosen.

I should just summarize what I did this month. I missed out on the 25th again. If you message Starhub on the 25th of each month, you stand to win a pair of movie tickets. Just for HubClub members. I always forget to do that on the 25th. What the heck. I won around 5 sets of jewellery for mum and WT. 3 sets of super duper Sony WALKMAN (trademark) which really are worth alot. I did not win them this month, but I just found out their retail prices.

I bought a webcam and a printer to replace the one which was heartlessly stampeded on by none other than myself. A hundred dollars Harvey Norman voucher was used to offset the bill. I paid $88. Quite an auspicious number. I sold my 42 inch TV together with the mini laptop. One for $800, the other for $500. ALl the money went to paying for the flat.

Well, since I am on my prizes, I might as well just list out what I can remember. There are 3 sets of Samsung E210 phones, maybe 10 pairs or more of movie tickets, 4 or 5 sets of facial products, a $4000 Hermes sofa set, a pair of return trip tickets to Japan plus tickets to World Club Cup tournament, a shaver, an Internet Phone, $800 worth of Crocodile VOuchers, a pair of soccer boots, 3 cameras: 2 Nikon and 1 Sony Cybershot an a couple of $100 vouchers for books and food. I have rather cooled off these few months. It is quite tiring to come up with flattery and summaries.

Enough of that. Barry is finally going to finish his exams. Qiuting just finished hers. I have yet to start mine. I passed my medicine reposting. I guess when I am not working hard, I am lucky. That is how one can make it through in life. Though it may not be for very far or very long but you need either hard work or luck at any point. I am just lucky to have luck whenever I am not putting in hard work. I actually prayed that Barry does well in his exams.

Then there was my Judo competition. Won a silver individual medal and a team bronze. I think I said I screwed up for the team event, I really did. We could have won the top prize if I had been more cautious for my first match and if I bothered to play for my second match. I really lack the tenacity to be successful. I am just such a loser. Maybe next year I have one more try. Perhaps perhaps perhaps.

I visited Udders 3 or 4 times already this month. Rum and Raisin is her favourite while Chocmarsh is mine. The ice cream really did not taste that good when Michelle brought us there. It was not particularly nice yesterday because I had not understood what she was trying to tell me. Then we saw JNR. He is the sworn enemy of Pandas.

I went to NTU many times this month. Twice my intention was to check on her. I was so afraid I would find him there. Or find him sending her back. I guess that is one defect in an otherwise rather good boyfriend persona of mine. Other times I delivered groceries and a rose to her. And a few letters. I am no longer that emotional during the week. Now when I am kept awake, it is because of my inherently screwed up circadian clock.

I suggested we be normal friends. So she is free to be wooed by any one else. While I shall woo her but retain my right to do otherwise. A complicated non-solution for a non-existing problem. Maybe I am a masochist. Or am I a sadomasochist? I am beginning to feel tired. However If I were to sleep, I would just wake at 2 or 3pm. Further screwing up my life. The ramification of my suggestion would be that I would be further repelled by any contact she has with him. SO just like two pieces of wood in the vast ocean, we will just drift further and further away. It is so unfar for me to demand her time and attention. She is just buried up to her neck with projects and school work.

I will be going to Taiwan for my elective soon. How I missed that place. Yet after a trip to Japan, Taiwan lost some of her lustre. Perhaps it is also with the passage of time that the fonddest of memories become gray and patchy. Colin complained that I have been too mushy on my facebook. I am thinking of quitting FB anyway. Too much privacy for too many friends. Too bad we will not catch each other. I am sure he will hear the notoriety of me when he comes back.

I end this post because I am sleepy. Not because there is a lack of things for me to write about. 7.05am. I killed another living thing. This time it is a fly.