Sunday, May 24, 2009
Saturday, May 23, 2009
shit stupid suggestion stupid..
dont ask from her. She cannot give means cannot give.. can give me love and concern just like in the past.. she would have done so. to do so now is just out of pity. I am rambling again.
why do people read my blog.. and then come and say i am emotional. or rather become concern and ask me whats wrong. is not everything clearly explained here.
yah if i ask her to show more concern now.. to be normal like few years ago .. then what if everythign goes pear shaped after exams. shit shit shit cannot cannot . keep it quiet. shall dismantle this blog soon so no one can see inside my soul. pls. this sounds really incoherent.
so unlike me. people will think i have lost it.
no good can come out of it. must act normal. must be like everyone else. mask my emotions. when i talk, look at people in the eye. smile when the jokes are shared and show concern for their problems. eat properly. tell them i sleep at 10pm and wake at 7 am. I am normal and not getting schizophrenic.
dont ask from her. She cannot give means cannot give.. can give me love and concern just like in the past.. she would have done so. to do so now is just out of pity. I am rambling again.
why do people read my blog.. and then come and say i am emotional. or rather become concern and ask me whats wrong. is not everything clearly explained here.
yah if i ask her to show more concern now.. to be normal like few years ago .. then what if everythign goes pear shaped after exams. shit shit shit cannot cannot . keep it quiet. shall dismantle this blog soon so no one can see inside my soul. pls. this sounds really incoherent.
so unlike me. people will think i have lost it.
no good can come out of it. must act normal. must be like everyone else. mask my emotions. when i talk, look at people in the eye. smile when the jokes are shared and show concern for their problems. eat properly. tell them i sleep at 10pm and wake at 7 am. I am normal and not getting schizophrenic.
two more weeks
Today was a good day. This week was a good week. Because I did not press her too much. Because I did not give her much stress. I know now that she is working so she would not have time to check my blog and I do not want her to know how much I need her.
Anyway it feels good to be around her. It feels as good to be around pandas. Going to East Coast cycling feels good also. If she needs space and time, 1 year 2 years i will give them to her. 10 years, my heart will be still be hers. But this is really quite a bad time to not love me. haha How about never ? But of coz i need to understand her and give her what she needs. But maybe two more weeks of concern to ask from her? Two more weeks of normality? haha just to help me last through this period? No.. I am scared to ask from her because that will give her more pressure and drive her further away.
Nevermind about that. Shall perservere. Shall be patient. Shall endure the bad feelings and emotions and concentrate on the good memories. Shalll drive away the fear. Most importantly shall concentrate on my books. Although it is not working, but I will try. I hope no one reads this post because I do not wish for any one to be overduly concerned.
Anyway yah, hope to be able to sleep well today. Maybe at 4 or 5am. There are two nice songs which I will just listen to over and over again.
对你的思念是一天又一天
孤单的我还是没有改变
美丽的梦何时才能出现
亲爱的你好想再见你一面
秋天的风一阵阵的吹过
想起了去年的这个时候
你的心到底在想些什么
为什么留下这个结局让我承受
最爱你的人是我
你怎么舍得我难过
在我最需要你的时候
没有说一句话就走
最爱你的人是我
你怎么舍得我难过
对你付出了这么多
你却没有感动过......
那样的爱情也是会让人难过到流泪的
想起我不完美
你会不会逃离我生命的范围
想着你的滋味
我会不会把这个枕头变得甜美*
想起白天的约会
忘了晚上的咖啡
只怕感情如潮水
远离我梦中的堡垒
一个人失眠全
世界失眠
无辜的街灯守候明天
幸福的失眠
只是因为害怕闭上眼
如何想你想到六点
如何爱你爱到终点
一个人失眠
全世界失眠
幸福的失眠
只是因为害怕闭上眼
如何想你想到六点
如何爱你爱到终点
如何爱你爱到终点
想起我的时候
你会不会好像我一样不能睡
想像你的暧昧
我会不会数不到绵羊一双一对
想起白天的约会
忘了晚上的咖啡
只怕感情如潮水
远离我梦中的堡垒
Anyway it feels good to be around her. It feels as good to be around pandas. Going to East Coast cycling feels good also. If she needs space and time, 1 year 2 years i will give them to her. 10 years, my heart will be still be hers. But this is really quite a bad time to not love me. haha How about never ? But of coz i need to understand her and give her what she needs. But maybe two more weeks of concern to ask from her? Two more weeks of normality? haha just to help me last through this period? No.. I am scared to ask from her because that will give her more pressure and drive her further away.
Nevermind about that. Shall perservere. Shall be patient. Shall endure the bad feelings and emotions and concentrate on the good memories. Shalll drive away the fear. Most importantly shall concentrate on my books. Although it is not working, but I will try. I hope no one reads this post because I do not wish for any one to be overduly concerned.
Anyway yah, hope to be able to sleep well today. Maybe at 4 or 5am. There are two nice songs which I will just listen to over and over again.
对你的思念是一天又一天
孤单的我还是没有改变
美丽的梦何时才能出现
亲爱的你好想再见你一面
秋天的风一阵阵的吹过
想起了去年的这个时候
你的心到底在想些什么
为什么留下这个结局让我承受
最爱你的人是我
你怎么舍得我难过
在我最需要你的时候
没有说一句话就走
最爱你的人是我
你怎么舍得我难过
对你付出了这么多
你却没有感动过......
那样的爱情也是会让人难过到流泪的
想起我不完美
你会不会逃离我生命的范围
想着你的滋味
我会不会把这个枕头变得甜美*
想起白天的约会
忘了晚上的咖啡
只怕感情如潮水
远离我梦中的堡垒
一个人失眠全
世界失眠
无辜的街灯守候明天
幸福的失眠
只是因为害怕闭上眼
如何想你想到六点
如何爱你爱到终点
一个人失眠
全世界失眠
幸福的失眠
只是因为害怕闭上眼
如何想你想到六点
如何爱你爱到终点
如何爱你爱到终点
想起我的时候
你会不会好像我一样不能睡
想像你的暧昧
我会不会数不到绵羊一双一对
想起白天的约会
忘了晚上的咖啡
只怕感情如潮水
远离我梦中的堡垒
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Email KDK a picture of any old KDK fan, together with your name and contact number.Pix selected will win a brand new KDK fan model P30KH.
Target Email: sales@capital.com.sgSubject Header: Pic Of The Month ContestRequired Particulars: Name & Contact Number
remember to join
Target Email: sales@capital.com.sgSubject Header: Pic Of The Month ContestRequired Particulars: Name & Contact Number
remember to join
Step 1: Simply write a blog post on “The things I want to do with my family!” (It can be activities you want to do with your members that they never took an interest in or no time for!)
Step 2: Sign off with, “Start planning for your own Family Day Out on 30 May 2009! Visit www.nfc.sg!”
Step 3: Submit your permalink to family@nuffnang.com, with your full name and contact details.
Ok let me remind myself to join this when i have the time.
anyway I hope to give her time.. and space..
i feel very lost without the usual "love love" and "dear" and "muackz" in my phone...
will they ever come back?
what will be will be..
easier said then done...
Step 2: Sign off with, “Start planning for your own Family Day Out on 30 May 2009! Visit www.nfc.sg!”
Step 3: Submit your permalink to family@nuffnang.com, with your full name and contact details.
Ok let me remind myself to join this when i have the time.
anyway I hope to give her time.. and space..
i feel very lost without the usual "love love" and "dear" and "muackz" in my phone...
will they ever come back?
what will be will be..
easier said then done...
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Let me try to sleep.
At 6.51am, I still cannot sleep. The moment I lie down in bed, my heart will hurt while my head goes into overdrive. I am tempted to use alcohol to relieve my consciousness. But then again, I do not have any handy bottles around. The ones I have at home are large 1liter bottles or expensive XO and VSOPs. Perhaps I can get some dormicum from the school doctor. Nah, I will not really do that.
Now another thought,, since if we can be good friends, why not tell me what is going on in your mind? What do the words on FB mean? Do they apply to me? To you? or to another person? Afterall, we write on FB wall, it is just another way to convey a message to someone. Who is it?
I have a tuition at 11am later. I need the sleep. Today I have to study many systems. Breasts, urinary tract, reproductive system and so on. For monday's tutorial. What do I do now at 7am? ok... I am just writing down what is on my mind.
I remember telling xiaoyun before, if i am the guy you love, everything I give you or do for you would be meaningful for you. If not, they are just nothing. Eventually if you do not love me, your happiness will matter more than my happiness to you.
I guess I should just postpone my tuition.
Now another thought,, since if we can be good friends, why not tell me what is going on in your mind? What do the words on FB mean? Do they apply to me? To you? or to another person? Afterall, we write on FB wall, it is just another way to convey a message to someone. Who is it?
I have a tuition at 11am later. I need the sleep. Today I have to study many systems. Breasts, urinary tract, reproductive system and so on. For monday's tutorial. What do I do now at 7am? ok... I am just writing down what is on my mind.
I remember telling xiaoyun before, if i am the guy you love, everything I give you or do for you would be meaningful for you. If not, they are just nothing. Eventually if you do not love me, your happiness will matter more than my happiness to you.
I guess I should just postpone my tuition.
Time to sleep
I have just finished watching the show. 40 episodes of tears and laughter. Of warmth and family ties. And much more. A recurring theme is that of love and promise. There is also betrayal and rivalry. It is simply too exciting. I am glad that everyone has a happy ending in that show.
If you truly love someone, you would want the person to be happy. Regardless of whether the person ends up with you or not. So I will give my blessings and do my best to make who ever I love happy. Without asking for anything in return.
If you truly love someone, you would want the person to be happy. Regardless of whether the person ends up with you or not. So I will give my blessings and do my best to make who ever I love happy. Without asking for anything in return.
I need more sleep
The first day without her love. Sun.
The night always brings with her an unfathomable sadness. Is it the darkness that falls on the world outside my house like a blanket that is sucking away the happiness or is it during the night that I need someone more than ever?
Colin is giving me more pearls of wisdom. There are just so many truths in the world. Even Truths that contradict one another. How do I ever know the truth in her head? I need time for more understanding, maybe.
No point clinging on to the hope of finding the truth. If this goes on, I will soon become neurotic. Why cant the night bring with it daffodils and sunflowers. Birds and bees all dancing through the air and keeping a lonely person like me company?
For four years, I do not need music in my life because I have the tunes of love. Now suddenly all the songs seem to give me meaning. With an eerie accuracy. Anyway besides songs, I need more sleep as well.
What a night. The woman of your dreams appeared. Your pulse raced. Heavy breathing ensued. You do remember it, right? Oh, wait, you were asleep. And that's not all you missed. Under cover of night, sleep floods your veins with age-defying human growth hormone. Sleep raises an army of T cells and sends them into battle against colds and infection. Sleep resets the appetite controls that tell you to not hit the turn signal when you pass a McDonald's. And, of course, sleep helps you above the neck as well as below the belt.
"It stabilizes your waking brain, makes you more alert, and allows you to process information faster," says David Dinges, Ph.D., who studies shut-eye at the University of Pennsylvania. "It helps you remember things and consolidate those memories." You won't get that from a Red Bull. So then why are we engaged in a society-wide experiment in sleep deprivation? Average nightly sleep time during the workweek in the United States is down nearly 20 minutes in the last decade, to six hours and 40 minutes. And men ages 30 to 44 are the worst offenders: Thirty percent of them say they log less than six hours of sleep at night, according to a survey from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
The price you pay for this sleep deficit is more than just lost productivity—your health can suffer too. So wake up! It's time to shed some light on this dark territory.
Successful, driven guys should be good to go on five hours a night: MYTH
True, Napoleon slept four to five hours a night, and Thomas Edison got by on four. But world domination and the lightbulb might have been mere warm-ups had these guys slept more. Sleep scientists estimate that only 10 percent of adults are hardwired to need appreciably less (or more) sleep than the recommended seven to eight hours. And by cheating on sleep, you're limping through life with the cranial equivalent of a torn calf muscle. Scarier still, people who are sleep-deprived often don't even know they've turned into zombies. After dividing 48 volunteers into four sleep regimens—eight, six, four and zero hours a night (a.k.a. torture)—University of Pennsylvania researchers found that the six-hours-a-night group fared as poorly on measures of alertness and memory after two weeks as the no-sleep crew did after 24 hours. But participants in the six-hour group didn't feel very sleepy even when they were performing at their worst. Accumulating a sleep deficit also leads to "microsleeps" while you're awake. "Your brain becomes unstable and will go 'off-line' for half a second," Dinges says. The more sleep-deprived you are, the more frequent and longer the lapses.
Snooze strategy: If you didn't sleep seven to eight hours every night this past week, go to bed this weekend at your regular weekday time, but don't set your alarm clock. Did you rise on Saturday and Sunday at the same time you would have on, say, a Tuesday? Then you may be one of those few people who can sleep less yet remain healthy. The rest of us mere mortals can begin to repay our sleep debt by dozing 10 hours a night on weekends and then sticking to seven to eight hours during the week. Your brain will use this strategy whenever you accumulate a sleep debt, says Ruth Benca, M.D., Ph.D., medical director of the Wisconsin Sleep Center. Otherwise, you want to stay consistent with your sleeping.
The post-lunch bonk can't be avoided: MYTH
Many Europeans scarf down a carb-loaded lunch and then shut down from 1 to 4 in the afternoon. But with unemployment soaring, let's assume a three-hour nap won't play well at the office. If you find yourself entering what amounts to a food coma after lunch, you're probably eating too many carbohydrates in the morning. And what you're not getting enough of is making it worse. "A postlunch crash is a telltale sign of poor nighttime sleep, as is dozing in meetings, theater performances, or similar environments," says Dr. Benca. Not sure if you're experiencing a modest dip or a true crash? Take a minute or two to fill out the Epworth Sleepiness Scale. This online questionnaire is the same one sleep docs use on their new patients.
Snooze strategy: Along with improving your nightly sleep pattern, eat three small meals spaced two hours apart in the morning. Try a protein shake at 7 a.m., two eggs and a small cup of oatmeal at 9, and an apple and a handful of almonds at 11. You'll consume fewer carbohydrates, and you won't be as likely to overeat at lunchtime. In fact, a salad with grilled chicken and avocado on top should be enough to keep your mind focused and your head off the desk all afternoon, says Keith Berkowitz, M. D., medical director of the Center for Balanced Health in New York City.
Waking up at 4 a. m. every day just means I'm an early riser: MYTH
More likely, you—along with 60 million other Americans—have insomnia, an inability to fall or stay asleep. "Insomniacs wake at the slightest disturbance and feel unrefreshed in the morning," says Dr. Benca. Insufficient sleep exposes the sufferer to a litany of performance and health problems. In a study published in the Journal of Psychosomatic Research, researchers found insomniacs were more than twice as likely as normal sleepers to call in sick for long periods.
Snooze strategy: Let's assume that you've already cut back on caffeine. What you want to do is make your sleep more efficient, says W. Christopher Winter, M.D., medical director of the sleep medicine center at Martha Jefferson Hospital in Charlottesville, Va. Dr. Winter likens poor sleep to a bookcase missing a few volumes, representing gaps in your sleep. By going to bed an hour or so later, those gaps won't be as long as or frequent. Soon enough, you should be waking up after the roosters, not before them.
A tiring workout before bed will help me sleep more soundly: MYTH
Regular exercise is one of the best sleep-promoting remedies, but working out late at night risks leaving you wide-eyed in bed. "It's easiest to fall asleep when your core body temperature goes relatively quickly from very warm to very cold," says Dr. Chediak. "After exercise, that cooling process takes four to six hours." It's better to take a hot bath or sauna session close to bedtime. "Anything that raises core body temperature will help get you started on sleep," says Dr. Chediak. He says the cooldown period into the sleep zone following a bath takes just two hours—half that of an exercise session.
Snooze strategy: Work out—but do it first thing in the morning for all-day energy and a quick drift into deep, restful sleep. Studies show that exercise improves sleep as effectively as a class of sleeping pills that includes Restoril and Halcion.
Alcohol can help me sleep at night: MYTH
Only if you equate a good night's sleep with passing out drunk on your girlfriend's sofa. Alcohol messes with the normal sleep cycle, especially the back end of the cycle. "Four hours into sleep, alcohol wears off and leaves you in an excitable state," says Dr. Chediak. You'll sleep lighter, wake more easily, and be hung over when you do wake. After three nights of intoxicated slumber, even the initial knockout punch begins to wane. Dr. Chediak warns of another drawback to using a six-pack as a sleep aid. "Being a muscle relaxant as well as sedative, alcohol can even create sleep apnea symptoms in snorers who don't otherwise have the condition," he says. Unfortunately, liquor is a go-to therapy for many sheep counters, used as often as over-the-counter sleeping pills and more often than prescription sleep meds.
Snooze strategy: Be consistent with your overall schedule and you won't need booze. "Your internal clock is a structure in your brain called the suprachiasmatic nucleus," says Dr. Winter. "To set this clock, eat your breakfast, lunch, and dinner at exactly the same time every day for a week."
The night always brings with her an unfathomable sadness. Is it the darkness that falls on the world outside my house like a blanket that is sucking away the happiness or is it during the night that I need someone more than ever?
Colin is giving me more pearls of wisdom. There are just so many truths in the world. Even Truths that contradict one another. How do I ever know the truth in her head? I need time for more understanding, maybe.
No point clinging on to the hope of finding the truth. If this goes on, I will soon become neurotic. Why cant the night bring with it daffodils and sunflowers. Birds and bees all dancing through the air and keeping a lonely person like me company?
For four years, I do not need music in my life because I have the tunes of love. Now suddenly all the songs seem to give me meaning. With an eerie accuracy. Anyway besides songs, I need more sleep as well.
What a night. The woman of your dreams appeared. Your pulse raced. Heavy breathing ensued. You do remember it, right? Oh, wait, you were asleep. And that's not all you missed. Under cover of night, sleep floods your veins with age-defying human growth hormone. Sleep raises an army of T cells and sends them into battle against colds and infection. Sleep resets the appetite controls that tell you to not hit the turn signal when you pass a McDonald's. And, of course, sleep helps you above the neck as well as below the belt.
"It stabilizes your waking brain, makes you more alert, and allows you to process information faster," says David Dinges, Ph.D., who studies shut-eye at the University of Pennsylvania. "It helps you remember things and consolidate those memories." You won't get that from a Red Bull. So then why are we engaged in a society-wide experiment in sleep deprivation? Average nightly sleep time during the workweek in the United States is down nearly 20 minutes in the last decade, to six hours and 40 minutes. And men ages 30 to 44 are the worst offenders: Thirty percent of them say they log less than six hours of sleep at night, according to a survey from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
The price you pay for this sleep deficit is more than just lost productivity—your health can suffer too. So wake up! It's time to shed some light on this dark territory.
Successful, driven guys should be good to go on five hours a night: MYTH
True, Napoleon slept four to five hours a night, and Thomas Edison got by on four. But world domination and the lightbulb might have been mere warm-ups had these guys slept more. Sleep scientists estimate that only 10 percent of adults are hardwired to need appreciably less (or more) sleep than the recommended seven to eight hours. And by cheating on sleep, you're limping through life with the cranial equivalent of a torn calf muscle. Scarier still, people who are sleep-deprived often don't even know they've turned into zombies. After dividing 48 volunteers into four sleep regimens—eight, six, four and zero hours a night (a.k.a. torture)—University of Pennsylvania researchers found that the six-hours-a-night group fared as poorly on measures of alertness and memory after two weeks as the no-sleep crew did after 24 hours. But participants in the six-hour group didn't feel very sleepy even when they were performing at their worst. Accumulating a sleep deficit also leads to "microsleeps" while you're awake. "Your brain becomes unstable and will go 'off-line' for half a second," Dinges says. The more sleep-deprived you are, the more frequent and longer the lapses.
Snooze strategy: If you didn't sleep seven to eight hours every night this past week, go to bed this weekend at your regular weekday time, but don't set your alarm clock. Did you rise on Saturday and Sunday at the same time you would have on, say, a Tuesday? Then you may be one of those few people who can sleep less yet remain healthy. The rest of us mere mortals can begin to repay our sleep debt by dozing 10 hours a night on weekends and then sticking to seven to eight hours during the week. Your brain will use this strategy whenever you accumulate a sleep debt, says Ruth Benca, M.D., Ph.D., medical director of the Wisconsin Sleep Center. Otherwise, you want to stay consistent with your sleeping.
The post-lunch bonk can't be avoided: MYTH
Many Europeans scarf down a carb-loaded lunch and then shut down from 1 to 4 in the afternoon. But with unemployment soaring, let's assume a three-hour nap won't play well at the office. If you find yourself entering what amounts to a food coma after lunch, you're probably eating too many carbohydrates in the morning. And what you're not getting enough of is making it worse. "A postlunch crash is a telltale sign of poor nighttime sleep, as is dozing in meetings, theater performances, or similar environments," says Dr. Benca. Not sure if you're experiencing a modest dip or a true crash? Take a minute or two to fill out the Epworth Sleepiness Scale. This online questionnaire is the same one sleep docs use on their new patients.
Snooze strategy: Along with improving your nightly sleep pattern, eat three small meals spaced two hours apart in the morning. Try a protein shake at 7 a.m., two eggs and a small cup of oatmeal at 9, and an apple and a handful of almonds at 11. You'll consume fewer carbohydrates, and you won't be as likely to overeat at lunchtime. In fact, a salad with grilled chicken and avocado on top should be enough to keep your mind focused and your head off the desk all afternoon, says Keith Berkowitz, M. D., medical director of the Center for Balanced Health in New York City.
Waking up at 4 a. m. every day just means I'm an early riser: MYTH
More likely, you—along with 60 million other Americans—have insomnia, an inability to fall or stay asleep. "Insomniacs wake at the slightest disturbance and feel unrefreshed in the morning," says Dr. Benca. Insufficient sleep exposes the sufferer to a litany of performance and health problems. In a study published in the Journal of Psychosomatic Research, researchers found insomniacs were more than twice as likely as normal sleepers to call in sick for long periods.
Snooze strategy: Let's assume that you've already cut back on caffeine. What you want to do is make your sleep more efficient, says W. Christopher Winter, M.D., medical director of the sleep medicine center at Martha Jefferson Hospital in Charlottesville, Va. Dr. Winter likens poor sleep to a bookcase missing a few volumes, representing gaps in your sleep. By going to bed an hour or so later, those gaps won't be as long as or frequent. Soon enough, you should be waking up after the roosters, not before them.
A tiring workout before bed will help me sleep more soundly: MYTH
Regular exercise is one of the best sleep-promoting remedies, but working out late at night risks leaving you wide-eyed in bed. "It's easiest to fall asleep when your core body temperature goes relatively quickly from very warm to very cold," says Dr. Chediak. "After exercise, that cooling process takes four to six hours." It's better to take a hot bath or sauna session close to bedtime. "Anything that raises core body temperature will help get you started on sleep," says Dr. Chediak. He says the cooldown period into the sleep zone following a bath takes just two hours—half that of an exercise session.
Snooze strategy: Work out—but do it first thing in the morning for all-day energy and a quick drift into deep, restful sleep. Studies show that exercise improves sleep as effectively as a class of sleeping pills that includes Restoril and Halcion.
Alcohol can help me sleep at night: MYTH
Only if you equate a good night's sleep with passing out drunk on your girlfriend's sofa. Alcohol messes with the normal sleep cycle, especially the back end of the cycle. "Four hours into sleep, alcohol wears off and leaves you in an excitable state," says Dr. Chediak. You'll sleep lighter, wake more easily, and be hung over when you do wake. After three nights of intoxicated slumber, even the initial knockout punch begins to wane. Dr. Chediak warns of another drawback to using a six-pack as a sleep aid. "Being a muscle relaxant as well as sedative, alcohol can even create sleep apnea symptoms in snorers who don't otherwise have the condition," he says. Unfortunately, liquor is a go-to therapy for many sheep counters, used as often as over-the-counter sleeping pills and more often than prescription sleep meds.
Snooze strategy: Be consistent with your overall schedule and you won't need booze. "Your internal clock is a structure in your brain called the suprachiasmatic nucleus," says Dr. Winter. "To set this clock, eat your breakfast, lunch, and dinner at exactly the same time every day for a week."
Friday, May 15, 2009
Friends are meant to be together for life.
I have a new friend. I suddenly felt very relieved and happy because I now have friend whom I can trust and love.
Yes love can come in many forms. While yesterday xt said that expectations are hard to adjust because they are so innate, I do agree. Yet they are merely hard to adjust, not impossible. To borrow Nike or issit Adidas? Nothing is Impossible. Perhaps it is more beautiful to love without expecting anything in return. I know I can do it because I have that love. Just like a mother shielding her child in a plane crash or bus accident. Willing to give her whole life just to protect someone she loves.
There was a drastic change of fortune. Just yesterday night, I thought I had lost something important. I remembered how I lost my wallet in KL. I never found it back. But if I had, the feeling of recovery would be amazing. That was how I felt this afternoon at 12.15pm. Even though the wallet is missing some cash probably picked clean by whoever picked it up, the fact is I recovered my most precious wallet. The cash can be put back by my hard work. Crying over the lost money is stupid, why not be thankful that I still have my wallet?
I had many pearls of wisdom this morning. The most precious gifts always turn up in the most unexpected places. Life is just like a river. Just flow along and you are on course for what ever life has in store for you. Grab onto a stone or branch will just be futile and you might even get caught in an eddy.
In friends we trust. I have many whom I know are my true friends. For example sayanee, she will incredibly message me when I am feeling most down. Words of concern and encouragement are worth more than any salary that I can ever pick up. I am ashamed to say that I have not been reciprocating that friendship, when was the last time I was concerned about my JC friends or primary school friends? I am just a selfish starfish.
I know that true friends trust each other, are there for each other and understand each other. Maybe the song "you say it best, when you say nothing at all." applies to true friends. I think I finally realised the meaning of being good friends. I do have many good friends, it is just that I have forgotten about them.
On that topic, I still remember the time where saya went to Mdm Ng to ask her a higher grade for my IPW. She was the only one who got an A, mine was a B. I was really very touched. Those were the good old times, choreographing our stupid hamster dance and making CK impersonate Sim Wong Who? I am absolutely tickled.
Have I ever worried about saya, barry, cl, irwin, anna not being true friends? Lying to me or not feeling the same way? Nope. Just let it be and be together when we have the time. There are important things in life like my pathology supp papers. Like My FREAKING IPPT on the 30th of May. I NEED A RUNNING MATE!!!!! MAybe even a pullup buddy. Let me appreciate the finer things in my life. Including my friend.
PS: yesterday some songs I heard were quite emotional. While they may be made to look like the truth, it really depends on your state of mind. :d
Lets just hope the songs are outdated. :D
太傻
痴痴地想了多少夜
我还是不了解
是什么让我们今天会分别
反正梦都是太匆匆
反正爱只能那么浓
心与感情让它粉碎
飘散在风中
只是为何当初你是不听所有纷纷扰扰流言之中漫天风雨
你会选择了我
只是为何如今我们不顾一切追求真爱坚持底又苦尽甘来
你会放弃了我
再说你也不会懂
心再痛你能做什么
不再将自己深锁错了又错
守住你的承诺太傻
只怪自己被爱迷惑
说过的话已不重要
可是我从不曾忘掉
守住你的承诺太傻
只怪自己被爱迷惑
醉过的心那里去找
对着满满空虚回忆怎么逃
如果你还爱我
我带着一颗疲惫的心走了
我知道自己在你心里已不重要
虽然我们曾经相聚过
也许对于你来说已经没有什么值得回忆
我带着一颗沉重的心走了
我知道自己没有勇气道别离
虽然我们曾经拥有过
但是对于你来说已经没有什么值得回忆
难道早以注定不能真正拥有你
难道我真心付出一切只为了承受孤单和寂寞
我知道你不敢对我坦白
是不要看到我的伤怀
虽然你没有说要离开我
我已经感到你不再属于我
如果你还爱我
你不会对我如此的冷漠
又怎会让我在漫漫长夜独自徘徊
如果你还爱我
你不会对我如此的冷漠
我只能含着眼泪默默的离开
Yes love can come in many forms. While yesterday xt said that expectations are hard to adjust because they are so innate, I do agree. Yet they are merely hard to adjust, not impossible. To borrow Nike or issit Adidas? Nothing is Impossible. Perhaps it is more beautiful to love without expecting anything in return. I know I can do it because I have that love. Just like a mother shielding her child in a plane crash or bus accident. Willing to give her whole life just to protect someone she loves.
There was a drastic change of fortune. Just yesterday night, I thought I had lost something important. I remembered how I lost my wallet in KL. I never found it back. But if I had, the feeling of recovery would be amazing. That was how I felt this afternoon at 12.15pm. Even though the wallet is missing some cash probably picked clean by whoever picked it up, the fact is I recovered my most precious wallet. The cash can be put back by my hard work. Crying over the lost money is stupid, why not be thankful that I still have my wallet?
I had many pearls of wisdom this morning. The most precious gifts always turn up in the most unexpected places. Life is just like a river. Just flow along and you are on course for what ever life has in store for you. Grab onto a stone or branch will just be futile and you might even get caught in an eddy.
In friends we trust. I have many whom I know are my true friends. For example sayanee, she will incredibly message me when I am feeling most down. Words of concern and encouragement are worth more than any salary that I can ever pick up. I am ashamed to say that I have not been reciprocating that friendship, when was the last time I was concerned about my JC friends or primary school friends? I am just a selfish starfish.
I know that true friends trust each other, are there for each other and understand each other. Maybe the song "you say it best, when you say nothing at all." applies to true friends. I think I finally realised the meaning of being good friends. I do have many good friends, it is just that I have forgotten about them.
On that topic, I still remember the time where saya went to Mdm Ng to ask her a higher grade for my IPW. She was the only one who got an A, mine was a B. I was really very touched. Those were the good old times, choreographing our stupid hamster dance and making CK impersonate Sim Wong Who? I am absolutely tickled.
Have I ever worried about saya, barry, cl, irwin, anna not being true friends? Lying to me or not feeling the same way? Nope. Just let it be and be together when we have the time. There are important things in life like my pathology supp papers. Like My FREAKING IPPT on the 30th of May. I NEED A RUNNING MATE!!!!! MAybe even a pullup buddy. Let me appreciate the finer things in my life. Including my friend.
PS: yesterday some songs I heard were quite emotional. While they may be made to look like the truth, it really depends on your state of mind. :d
Lets just hope the songs are outdated. :D
太傻
痴痴地想了多少夜
我还是不了解
是什么让我们今天会分别
反正梦都是太匆匆
反正爱只能那么浓
心与感情让它粉碎
飘散在风中
只是为何当初你是不听所有纷纷扰扰流言之中漫天风雨
你会选择了我
只是为何如今我们不顾一切追求真爱坚持底又苦尽甘来
你会放弃了我
再说你也不会懂
心再痛你能做什么
不再将自己深锁错了又错
守住你的承诺太傻
只怪自己被爱迷惑
说过的话已不重要
可是我从不曾忘掉
守住你的承诺太傻
只怪自己被爱迷惑
醉过的心那里去找
对着满满空虚回忆怎么逃
如果你还爱我
我带着一颗疲惫的心走了
我知道自己在你心里已不重要
虽然我们曾经相聚过
也许对于你来说已经没有什么值得回忆
我带着一颗沉重的心走了
我知道自己没有勇气道别离
虽然我们曾经拥有过
但是对于你来说已经没有什么值得回忆
难道早以注定不能真正拥有你
难道我真心付出一切只为了承受孤单和寂寞
我知道你不敢对我坦白
是不要看到我的伤怀
虽然你没有说要离开我
我已经感到你不再属于我
如果你还爱我
你不会对我如此的冷漠
又怎会让我在漫漫长夜独自徘徊
如果你还爱我
你不会对我如此的冷漠
我只能含着眼泪默默的离开
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Or did I not lose it?
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves."-- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
LISTEN FOR LOVE
There are times when we are timid and shy about expressing the love we feel. For fear of embarrassing the other person, or ourselves, we hesitate to say the actual words "I love you." So we try to communicate the idea in other words.
We say 'take care' or 'don't drive too fast' or 'be good.' But really, these are just other ways of saying 'I love you,' 'you are important to me,' 'I care what happens to you,' 'I don't want you to get hurt.'
We are sometimes very strange people. The only thing we want to say, and the one thing that we should say, is the one thing we don't say. And yet, because the feeling is so real, and the need to say it is so strong, we are driven to use other words and signs to say what we really mean. And many times the meaning never gets communicated at all and the other person is left feeling unloved and unwanted.
Therefore, we have to LISTEN FOR LOVE in the words that people are saying to us. Sometimes the explicit words are necessary, but more often, the manner of saying things is even more important. A joyous insult carries more affection and love within the sentiments which are expressed insincerely.
An impulsive hug says I LOVE YOU even though the words might be saying very different.
Any expression of a person's concern for another says I love you. Sometimes the expression is clumsy, sometimes even cruel. Sometimes we must look and listen very intently for the love that contains. But it is often there, beneath the surface.
A mother may nag her son constantly about his grades or cleaning his room. The son may hear only the nagging, but if he listens carefully, he will hear the love underneath the nagging. His mother wants him to do well, to be successful. Her concern and love for her son unfortunately emerge in her nagging. But it is love all the same.
A daughter comes home way past her curfew, and her father confronts her with angry words. The daughter may hear only the anger, but if she listen carefully, she will hear the love under the anger. "I was worried about you," the father is saying. 'Because I care about you and I love you. You are important to me.'
We say I love you in many ways - with birthday gifts, and little notes, with smiles and sometimes with tears. Sometimes we show our love by just keeping quiet and not saying a word, at other times by speaking out, even brusquely. We show our love sometimes by impulsiveness. Many times we have to show our love by forgiving someone who has not listened to the love we have tried to express.
The problem in listening for love is that we don't always understand the language of love which the other person is using. A girl may use tears or emotions to say what she wants to say, and her boyfriend may not understand her because he expects her to be talking his language. Thus, we have to force ourselves to really listen for love.
The problem with our world is that people rarely listen to each other. They hear the words, but they don't listen to the actions that accompany the words or the expression on the face. Or people listen only for rejection or misunderstanding. They do not see the love that is there just beneath the surface, even if the words are angry. We have to listen for love in those around us.
If we listen intently we will discover that we are a lot more loved than we realize. Listen for love and we will find that the world is a very loving place, after all.
LOVE is a happy thing.It makes us laugh.It makes us sing.It makes us sad.It makes us cry.It makes us seek the reason why.It makes us take.It makes us give.Above all else it makes us LIVE.
LISTEN FOR LOVE
There are times when we are timid and shy about expressing the love we feel. For fear of embarrassing the other person, or ourselves, we hesitate to say the actual words "I love you." So we try to communicate the idea in other words.
We say 'take care' or 'don't drive too fast' or 'be good.' But really, these are just other ways of saying 'I love you,' 'you are important to me,' 'I care what happens to you,' 'I don't want you to get hurt.'
We are sometimes very strange people. The only thing we want to say, and the one thing that we should say, is the one thing we don't say. And yet, because the feeling is so real, and the need to say it is so strong, we are driven to use other words and signs to say what we really mean. And many times the meaning never gets communicated at all and the other person is left feeling unloved and unwanted.
Therefore, we have to LISTEN FOR LOVE in the words that people are saying to us. Sometimes the explicit words are necessary, but more often, the manner of saying things is even more important. A joyous insult carries more affection and love within the sentiments which are expressed insincerely.
An impulsive hug says I LOVE YOU even though the words might be saying very different.
Any expression of a person's concern for another says I love you. Sometimes the expression is clumsy, sometimes even cruel. Sometimes we must look and listen very intently for the love that contains. But it is often there, beneath the surface.
A mother may nag her son constantly about his grades or cleaning his room. The son may hear only the nagging, but if he listens carefully, he will hear the love underneath the nagging. His mother wants him to do well, to be successful. Her concern and love for her son unfortunately emerge in her nagging. But it is love all the same.
A daughter comes home way past her curfew, and her father confronts her with angry words. The daughter may hear only the anger, but if she listen carefully, she will hear the love under the anger. "I was worried about you," the father is saying. 'Because I care about you and I love you. You are important to me.'
We say I love you in many ways - with birthday gifts, and little notes, with smiles and sometimes with tears. Sometimes we show our love by just keeping quiet and not saying a word, at other times by speaking out, even brusquely. We show our love sometimes by impulsiveness. Many times we have to show our love by forgiving someone who has not listened to the love we have tried to express.
The problem in listening for love is that we don't always understand the language of love which the other person is using. A girl may use tears or emotions to say what she wants to say, and her boyfriend may not understand her because he expects her to be talking his language. Thus, we have to force ourselves to really listen for love.
The problem with our world is that people rarely listen to each other. They hear the words, but they don't listen to the actions that accompany the words or the expression on the face. Or people listen only for rejection or misunderstanding. They do not see the love that is there just beneath the surface, even if the words are angry. We have to listen for love in those around us.
If we listen intently we will discover that we are a lot more loved than we realize. Listen for love and we will find that the world is a very loving place, after all.
LOVE is a happy thing.It makes us laugh.It makes us sing.It makes us sad.It makes us cry.It makes us seek the reason why.It makes us take.It makes us give.Above all else it makes us LIVE.
Is your heart with him? Or did I just lose it?
It is really like a stab to the heart to know that while you are alone you are not lonely. That totally negates the purpose of my existence. Perhaps I am not seeing the big picture. In that case can someone just help me with it? Explain to me patiently. I am at a loss but I am strong. Perhaps it is the greatest insult to be with someone just because you pity the person who cannot live without you.
Anyway I shall put on a brave front. Be happy about the whole thing and just let laughter cover my sorrow. As I always do. I laugh when I am most upset. Already I have shown more emotions than I really wish to throughout the whole of this episode. And I fear I might just cave in again and again. SO let me try to focus on what ELSE that really matters. Let me try.
Anyway I shall put on a brave front. Be happy about the whole thing and just let laughter cover my sorrow. As I always do. I laugh when I am most upset. Already I have shown more emotions than I really wish to throughout the whole of this episode. And I fear I might just cave in again and again. SO let me try to focus on what ELSE that really matters. Let me try.
another
So what are the many things that are going on in your life right now that were absent before? In the four years together is this really the more trying period? Piano, Internship, tuitions and what else? So is it because of the restrictions I have placed. The strains that still bear the stress till now....? what is going on?
101 questions. and a relief.
Why is it that when you are alone, you are not lonely? Yet when I am with you, I feel lonely? Will we ever rediscover that eagerness and excitement when it had all started? As usual, I have so many questions but still without an answer.
Just like my previous post, alot of questions but yet no answers.
I wonder if an answer of I love you is enough. What do the words actually mean?I loved you? so I should be loving you now? I think I love you because I never really thought about otherwise?
What we did experience was as true as I know. Yet just like the fireworks, the fleeting brilliance and dazzling fizzles into a nightsky of solitude.
Do I sound like I am whining? I really hope not.
Back to the issue at hand. When do couples ever need to take a break from each other? I do not see my father needing a break from my mother. It is something which I find extremely hard to do. Because if you love someone you would always want to be with that person. Maybe the love is no longer there.
Would it be more benevolent then to acknowledge the fact that love does not exist anymore? Is it really a step forward? How I wish to be a mindreader so I can see for myself what is going through in that head. Because it is out of my depth. Because I only know how to love and how not to love. Never tried to not love when actually I am in love.
So I have expectations. Does true love really mean the lack of need of expectations? I can agree because I can give everything and do everything just for someone I love. Without needing anything back. Yet when you put true love in the context or prison of a relationship, there will be expectations. You expect to be loved, you expect the attention, the missing you and the happiness when you are together.
I am very simple. Perhaps just need to know that you love me. Or just to know that you do not love me. Actions speak louder than words and I may have already got my answers.
Perhaps I am a fool but I would still be glad if someone would kindly tell me if she loves me right now or not.
How do you give someone more space? If someone needs space now, does that not mean you and her are just not compatible? Just like two pieces of jigsaw. If they are compatible, they do not need any space in between them, they fit snugly side by side, in jigsaw bliss.
Maybe she is just being kind to me by not breaking my heart? Yet it has already been trampled upon, crushed and devastatingly destroyed to know that she is just not comfortable with me. A kinder approach would be to tell me the whole truth. Whatever is on her mind. Everything. Everything. SO I can understand. So I can start my healing process. Please do not hold on to whatever beautiful things that have happened in the past. Because to live in the past would be to be cruel to the present. Cruel to you and to me.
What really matters now is whether you love me or not. But for now I am giving you time to find that answer. Although I think I already know the answer.
I am tired. Really tired. Perhaps I should just sleep and let the dreams bring whatever relief I can have. And let all that has happened drift away just like the dreams at dawn.
Just like my previous post, alot of questions but yet no answers.
I wonder if an answer of I love you is enough. What do the words actually mean?I loved you? so I should be loving you now? I think I love you because I never really thought about otherwise?
What we did experience was as true as I know. Yet just like the fireworks, the fleeting brilliance and dazzling fizzles into a nightsky of solitude.
Do I sound like I am whining? I really hope not.
Back to the issue at hand. When do couples ever need to take a break from each other? I do not see my father needing a break from my mother. It is something which I find extremely hard to do. Because if you love someone you would always want to be with that person. Maybe the love is no longer there.
Would it be more benevolent then to acknowledge the fact that love does not exist anymore? Is it really a step forward? How I wish to be a mindreader so I can see for myself what is going through in that head. Because it is out of my depth. Because I only know how to love and how not to love. Never tried to not love when actually I am in love.
So I have expectations. Does true love really mean the lack of need of expectations? I can agree because I can give everything and do everything just for someone I love. Without needing anything back. Yet when you put true love in the context or prison of a relationship, there will be expectations. You expect to be loved, you expect the attention, the missing you and the happiness when you are together.
I am very simple. Perhaps just need to know that you love me. Or just to know that you do not love me. Actions speak louder than words and I may have already got my answers.
Perhaps I am a fool but I would still be glad if someone would kindly tell me if she loves me right now or not.
How do you give someone more space? If someone needs space now, does that not mean you and her are just not compatible? Just like two pieces of jigsaw. If they are compatible, they do not need any space in between them, they fit snugly side by side, in jigsaw bliss.
Maybe she is just being kind to me by not breaking my heart? Yet it has already been trampled upon, crushed and devastatingly destroyed to know that she is just not comfortable with me. A kinder approach would be to tell me the whole truth. Whatever is on her mind. Everything. Everything. SO I can understand. So I can start my healing process. Please do not hold on to whatever beautiful things that have happened in the past. Because to live in the past would be to be cruel to the present. Cruel to you and to me.
What really matters now is whether you love me or not. But for now I am giving you time to find that answer. Although I think I already know the answer.
I am tired. Really tired. Perhaps I should just sleep and let the dreams bring whatever relief I can have. And let all that has happened drift away just like the dreams at dawn.
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
For as long as I can remember, Europe has always been a source of heartbreak for Chelsea. This year they played their best football and against the best team in the world, Chelsea showed Barcelona that possession and having the best attacking players in the world do not win you games. This time round, it was a combination of poor refereeing and bad luck that Chelsea lost out despite being the better team.
While the referee has really been abhorrent, it still took a moment of class from Iniesta to find the back of the net.
The challenge on Drogba by Yaya Toure should have been a sending off and a penalty. That blatant handball by Pique must also result in similar consequences. Yet no actions were done. Chelsea should have put the game away with so many clear cut chances and yet it was not to be.
Sometimes you really have to wonder the existence of a higher authority. Footballing gods? Now talking about clearing out players from Stamford Bridge, I really wonder who should go and who should stay. After all, in recent weeks, players have been showing their worth and many of them can still remain here and provide CHelsea with the driving force for a league title and European glory again.
Up front we have Di Santo, Kalou, Drogba and Anelka.
Midfield there is Lampard, Ballack, Malouda, Essien, Mikel, Joe Cole, Belleti, Mineiro and Deco
In defence we have Mancienne,Bosingwa, Ferreira, Ashley Cole, Terry, Alex, Carvalho and Ivanovic.
Cech and Hilario in goal.
So who do we need to ship away?
For all their critics, I think Drogba and Anelka still have a good few years left in them so there are definitely not going to go away. With two experienced EPL strikers around, we will always be able to open up any defence and also do well against fellow title contenders.
Di Santo is still young and has not much chances to prove himself. Perhaps he should be sent off for a loan spell and Kalou is one I would not mind seeing him leave. If Arsene Wenger so likes him, he can buy Kalou and provide Chelsea with the funds to bring in a big name striker.
Whose name comes to mind? Definitely with David Villa apparently being put on the display cabinet by Valencia, he is one we must consider. He has the skills necessary to thrive and provides a different dimension to Drogba's strength and Anelka's speed. With Man City and Real Madrid chasing him, we need to dig into Abramovich's pockets once again to compete. However I really think with our prowess on the European stage, Real and City will never be able to compete even if they can pay more. Not every one is a RObinho.
Of course there are a few strikers playing in the french league like Brandao who might be good for Chelsea. I would not want David Trezeguet or Ibrahimovic because they are too individualistic for the good of Chelsea. Podolski might be nice but he is returning to his hometown club. Perhaps an Italian striker like Amauri would also be good. Then if ever Eto'o is thinking of leaving Barcelona, Chelsea would welcome him with open arms.
In: David Villa, Samual Eto, Brandao
Out: Di Santo , Kalou
Midfield: Lampard, Ballack, Essien, Mikel, Joe Cole and Malouda should stay.
Of them Ballack is considered the most inconsistent and he sometimes disappears during the early part of the season. However his experience and ability to perform in big matches could see him being retained on a bit part basis.
However players like Deco and Belleti have outstayed their welcome. Deco may be cheap but he has stopped delivering. Belleti is old and perhaps should be cleared for a new midfielder to take over.
I am not adament for Ballack and Deco to leave. If they are happy being squad players, their experience would be good for the team.
Players that should be brought in should be wide players like Ribery although everyone is eyeing him. SO i do not rate the chances of getting him great. How about Aaron Lennon or Ashley Young for a winger. Stewart Downing might be obtained on the cheap if Middlesbrough are relegated. A talented midfielder like Danny of Zenith St Petersbrug would be good as well. David Silva might be good as well. Malouda is finding his form and I expect great things from him next year.
So out: Ballack, Deco, Belleti
In: Lennon, Young, Downing, Danny or Silva
Defence I think we should keep all the players including Alex and Ivanovic. Because I feel they are able deputies and Alex definitely can challenge the ageing Carvalho for a starting place. We do however need a left back. One more quality goalkeeper to challenge Petr Cech would also be a good thing.
So while it is heartbreaking to lose in the 93rd minute, Chelsea is still a wonderful team and can continue to challenge for a few more years. Lets hope for the best.
While the referee has really been abhorrent, it still took a moment of class from Iniesta to find the back of the net.
The challenge on Drogba by Yaya Toure should have been a sending off and a penalty. That blatant handball by Pique must also result in similar consequences. Yet no actions were done. Chelsea should have put the game away with so many clear cut chances and yet it was not to be.
Sometimes you really have to wonder the existence of a higher authority. Footballing gods? Now talking about clearing out players from Stamford Bridge, I really wonder who should go and who should stay. After all, in recent weeks, players have been showing their worth and many of them can still remain here and provide CHelsea with the driving force for a league title and European glory again.
Up front we have Di Santo, Kalou, Drogba and Anelka.
Midfield there is Lampard, Ballack, Malouda, Essien, Mikel, Joe Cole, Belleti, Mineiro and Deco
In defence we have Mancienne,Bosingwa, Ferreira, Ashley Cole, Terry, Alex, Carvalho and Ivanovic.
Cech and Hilario in goal.
So who do we need to ship away?
For all their critics, I think Drogba and Anelka still have a good few years left in them so there are definitely not going to go away. With two experienced EPL strikers around, we will always be able to open up any defence and also do well against fellow title contenders.
Di Santo is still young and has not much chances to prove himself. Perhaps he should be sent off for a loan spell and Kalou is one I would not mind seeing him leave. If Arsene Wenger so likes him, he can buy Kalou and provide Chelsea with the funds to bring in a big name striker.
Whose name comes to mind? Definitely with David Villa apparently being put on the display cabinet by Valencia, he is one we must consider. He has the skills necessary to thrive and provides a different dimension to Drogba's strength and Anelka's speed. With Man City and Real Madrid chasing him, we need to dig into Abramovich's pockets once again to compete. However I really think with our prowess on the European stage, Real and City will never be able to compete even if they can pay more. Not every one is a RObinho.
Of course there are a few strikers playing in the french league like Brandao who might be good for Chelsea. I would not want David Trezeguet or Ibrahimovic because they are too individualistic for the good of Chelsea. Podolski might be nice but he is returning to his hometown club. Perhaps an Italian striker like Amauri would also be good. Then if ever Eto'o is thinking of leaving Barcelona, Chelsea would welcome him with open arms.
In: David Villa, Samual Eto, Brandao
Out: Di Santo , Kalou
Midfield: Lampard, Ballack, Essien, Mikel, Joe Cole and Malouda should stay.
Of them Ballack is considered the most inconsistent and he sometimes disappears during the early part of the season. However his experience and ability to perform in big matches could see him being retained on a bit part basis.
However players like Deco and Belleti have outstayed their welcome. Deco may be cheap but he has stopped delivering. Belleti is old and perhaps should be cleared for a new midfielder to take over.
I am not adament for Ballack and Deco to leave. If they are happy being squad players, their experience would be good for the team.
Players that should be brought in should be wide players like Ribery although everyone is eyeing him. SO i do not rate the chances of getting him great. How about Aaron Lennon or Ashley Young for a winger. Stewart Downing might be obtained on the cheap if Middlesbrough are relegated. A talented midfielder like Danny of Zenith St Petersbrug would be good as well. David Silva might be good as well. Malouda is finding his form and I expect great things from him next year.
So out: Ballack, Deco, Belleti
In: Lennon, Young, Downing, Danny or Silva
Defence I think we should keep all the players including Alex and Ivanovic. Because I feel they are able deputies and Alex definitely can challenge the ageing Carvalho for a starting place. We do however need a left back. One more quality goalkeeper to challenge Petr Cech would also be a good thing.
So while it is heartbreaking to lose in the 93rd minute, Chelsea is still a wonderful team and can continue to challenge for a few more years. Lets hope for the best.
Monday, May 04, 2009
7 wonders of the world
I wonder what am I going to write about now. I am in the liibrary waiting for my pictures to be uploaded throught the wireless network. I wonder what has happened to my internaet connection at home that is supposed to be 100mbps. Is that the correct speed? The speed that is supposed to rule them all. I may have the fastest speed plan but I do not have the fastest modem and somehow my computer is beginning to behave like an old lady doing a 400 metres sprint. Sometimes resuscitation is required to start up my aged damsel.
Next I wonder when I would get the chance to enjoy the beach. Since my m1 and m2 days where I liked to go the East Coast Park instead of Anatomy Hall, for a whiff of salty seabreeze rather than formaldehyde. It has been a long time since I enjoyed the blue or torquise ocean. Now would be a rather good time. After all, electives are either suspended or canceled. Abit of therapy for the harried soul would be good.
3rd wonder , I wonder if I am sick or not. The cough has been there since January. It is less obvious now and no longer mucopurulent. I only cough when I drink cold water and I do not have a history of asthma. No fever or wheezing. Then there is the change in bowel habits. Who shits green stool? Even shrek does not do that. My gallbladder has no ruptured, maybe it is due to some weird concoction I drank before leaving Taiwan.
Strange to know that last saturday morning I was still in Taipei, then Sun and Mon was in Hongkong and Tues I was back in Spore already. The wonder of air travel.
I am still uploading photos. I wonder when I would finish. 2000 over photos. All taken by myself. I am a camwhore. Fuck it bitch!
I guess i do not have the patience to just sit here like an idiot while my pictures are being uploaded. I guess it will be my last album. I wonder where has my patience gone to.
LAst wonder is no wonder at all. Just that since I wrote 7 wonders and could only come up with six and a few rather pathetic ones, it is a wonder i am still typing.
Next I wonder when I would get the chance to enjoy the beach. Since my m1 and m2 days where I liked to go the East Coast Park instead of Anatomy Hall, for a whiff of salty seabreeze rather than formaldehyde. It has been a long time since I enjoyed the blue or torquise ocean. Now would be a rather good time. After all, electives are either suspended or canceled. Abit of therapy for the harried soul would be good.
3rd wonder , I wonder if I am sick or not. The cough has been there since January. It is less obvious now and no longer mucopurulent. I only cough when I drink cold water and I do not have a history of asthma. No fever or wheezing. Then there is the change in bowel habits. Who shits green stool? Even shrek does not do that. My gallbladder has no ruptured, maybe it is due to some weird concoction I drank before leaving Taiwan.
Strange to know that last saturday morning I was still in Taipei, then Sun and Mon was in Hongkong and Tues I was back in Spore already. The wonder of air travel.
I am still uploading photos. I wonder when I would finish. 2000 over photos. All taken by myself. I am a camwhore. Fuck it bitch!
I guess i do not have the patience to just sit here like an idiot while my pictures are being uploaded. I guess it will be my last album. I wonder where has my patience gone to.
LAst wonder is no wonder at all. Just that since I wrote 7 wonders and could only come up with six and a few rather pathetic ones, it is a wonder i am still typing.
Sunday, May 03, 2009
WHen silence means so much more
The timing could not have been better. The name is just apt. Was it a creation of my subconsciousness? It must be absurb to be entertaining such thoughts.
The day started with rain. Pattering could be heard but it took real scrutinizing to notice the fine drops of drizzle. It seems to rain alot. Yet the heat at night still remains unbearable. It is like we are trapped in a glass dome and the green house effect just perpetuates endlessly.
The first few days in Taipei were cold. There were no need for air con and the duvet blankets provided real comfort. It was good to return to this place where I had my M1 holiday and realized nothing much has changed. Good things do not last. It is just like returning home after many years away, you find that everything was just as you left them, yet they are unfamiliar. The only thing that has changed is you.
My thoughts are beginning to meander again. I was late just as usual. So the punishment was to receiving a dressing down. However it was really not my fault because I had had ample time for the bus trip to school. However the bus wouldn't come even after 30 minutes of waiting. In the end, I hailed a cab and spent 9 bucks. 9 bucks could get me a decent half of a pair of shoes. The beige pair which I am wearing now.
I should have bought one more pair. Or maybe two. Now I am missing the shopping in Hongkong. To think Kelly actually told me that there are more goodies and fakes in Shengzheng. I know how to plan my next holiday calender already. Well, last week I almost believed that Kelly and I are really fated. After all meeting her and Julie in Hongkong, in Disneyland is really incredible. They have been there for so many weeks and yet chose to go the same day I decided to go. Then I bumped into them again at Lankwaifang where they were having dinner while I was just using the escalators. Oh the escalators never seem to end until I got really high up and had to take a cab down. Back in SIngapore on sat, I ran into her again.
The day started with rain. Pattering could be heard but it took real scrutinizing to notice the fine drops of drizzle. It seems to rain alot. Yet the heat at night still remains unbearable. It is like we are trapped in a glass dome and the green house effect just perpetuates endlessly.
The first few days in Taipei were cold. There were no need for air con and the duvet blankets provided real comfort. It was good to return to this place where I had my M1 holiday and realized nothing much has changed. Good things do not last. It is just like returning home after many years away, you find that everything was just as you left them, yet they are unfamiliar. The only thing that has changed is you.
My thoughts are beginning to meander again. I was late just as usual. So the punishment was to receiving a dressing down. However it was really not my fault because I had had ample time for the bus trip to school. However the bus wouldn't come even after 30 minutes of waiting. In the end, I hailed a cab and spent 9 bucks. 9 bucks could get me a decent half of a pair of shoes. The beige pair which I am wearing now.
I should have bought one more pair. Or maybe two. Now I am missing the shopping in Hongkong. To think Kelly actually told me that there are more goodies and fakes in Shengzheng. I know how to plan my next holiday calender already. Well, last week I almost believed that Kelly and I are really fated. After all meeting her and Julie in Hongkong, in Disneyland is really incredible. They have been there for so many weeks and yet chose to go the same day I decided to go. Then I bumped into them again at Lankwaifang where they were having dinner while I was just using the escalators. Oh the escalators never seem to end until I got really high up and had to take a cab down. Back in SIngapore on sat, I ran into her again.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Lets talk tactics -- Chelsea Vs Barcelona
So the Golden Guus has managed to silence Barca at Camp Nou and will need to repeat the same feat at Stamford Bridge next week to guide Chelsea into the Rome Final. In yesterday's game, it was like a 1-4-2-2-1 with Malouda given a free role on the left hand side.
Cech(Keeper), Bosingwa(LB), Alex and Terry(CB),Ivanovic(RB), Essien and Mikel(Defensive Midfielders/Holding Midfielders) with Essien given more attacking freedom while Mikel is to hold the fort at all times, Lampard and Ballack (central attacking midfielders) and Drogba (lone striker), while Malouda is to help out Bosingwa in defending against Alves and Messi and also exploit the space left by Alves just to keep the right side of Barca in check.
Now Henry plays down the left side of Barca without drifting towards the centre because Eto and Messi are there. Messi is on the right but cuts in very often to draw free kicks or work a 1-2 with Alves or Iniesta. Eto was kept very quiet but broke away once after leaving Alex dead and nutmegging Terry. Luckily Cech and the two central defenders did well to slow him down and close his angle before he could take a shot.
Xavi is a very intelligent player who is currently protecting the defence and starting all the attacks. He was simply too impressive yesterday and even robbed Lampard of the ball a few times. Now Guus was correct to take off Lampard because he was not playing well. That was because he made a few bad fouls and not keeping the ball well. At the moment, Essien, Ballack and Drogba are doing very well in keeping the ball, linking up play or defending.
Now, the right side of the field is somewhere Chelsea could look to exploit with Ashley Cole back. Messi does not defend at all when he gets marked out of the game. Perhaps Malouda with his newly found form could look to attack Alves with more regularity and partnership with Ashley. Yesterday no attacks were made on the left hand side of the field because Chelsea did not play with a right midfielder. Ballack occasionally gets into that position but he brings the ball in.
The right side of the field is not a problem because once you get the measure of Henry, Abidal is ageing and does not provide enough attacking threat. Of course that is if you do get the measure of Henry. Ivanovic was beaten a few times but closed down the space sufficiently with Terry helping him.
Chelsea played alot of long balls up to Drogba which he wins with ease yesterday but because of Barca's insanely fast midfield, the attacks were always broken up. However two things worked in favour of Chelsea with Marquez(meniscus) and Puyol (second yellow card) ruled out for the game at Stamford Bridge.
Now lets talk about the shape of Barca. Valdes in goal, with the back four of Alves(RB), Pique and Marquez(replaced by Puyol) (CB) and Abidal(LB), Yaya Toure(defensive midfield), Iniesta and Xavi(central attacking midfield), Messi(right forward), Eto(central forward), Henry(left forward) in a 1-4-1-2-3 manner. They will be playing the same team next week minus one central defender. So Martin Caceres, Xavi Torres or Sylvinho could come into central defence to partner Pique. Or even Yaya could be moved back and Keita be used as the holding midfielder.
Of course, Guardiola might want to play it safer with Eto and Messi up front while throwing in another midfielder like Hleb to stretch play. Or Keita to offer more protection to the defence. Guus will definitely have taken that into account when he plans his offensive for next week.
So the backline of Barca is very good to attack. If Lampard can get his form next week, Chelsea can use route one again to take the game to Barca. Drogba was winning almost every long ball but his teammates were too cautious and not fast enough to link up with him. Pique did a very good job yesterday but Chelsea will look to exploit his inexperience next week. Iniesta was definitely more impressive than any of the players on the pitch yesterday. You cannot also catch Messi once he starts dribbling, unless you physically catch him and foul him.
So Essien and Mikel or Ballack and Mikel needs to snuff out the threats of both Xavi and Iniesta. Ashley and Malouda will work on Messi and Alves. Essien could break away and he dribbles out of tight situation ever so well.
Perhaps Anelka could be used as a right winger or right forward to offer more threat against the ageing Abidal. Henry does not help out in defence as well so If Chelsea can stretch Barca on the wings, Drogba. Lampard or Essien can cut through the middle and go straight against the Barca defense. That is if you can keep Xavi and Iniesta quiet. Ballack is having a good spell so he might be able to play against them.
So if we can get Lampard and Mikel up to scratch, Chelsea has a very good chance to winning the game at the Bridge. Of course, the most important thing is still not to concede so no gungho football will be served up from the off. Perhaps Hiddink would want Chelsea to retain more of the ball and certain players like Alex and Ballack might just be one booking away from missing the final.. so they have got to be really careful.
In conclusion, mark out Messi, Xavi and Iniesta. With Messi you really have to get Ashley to stick really close and Essien or Mikel to deputise if Ashley is linking up in attack. While Xavi and Iniesta will have to neutralize via the midfield battle with Ballack and Lampard. With Drogba and Malouda or Anelka against Barca's defense, it is highly possible to get a few goals.
With Ashley back, a fit Bosingwa might move back to right back and Ivanovic might just have to make way. He was abit unsteady against Henry but played intelligently and worked very hard. He was also fearless and it will be interesting to see if Bosingwa gets his place back. After all, Bosingwa may be faster than Ivanovic but Bosingwa lets opponents get past him as well because he is not that good a tackler. He goes up in attack often and usually when he does not perform, Chelsea does not play well as well. But then again, a flying Bosingwa with Anelka on the right might just tear down that side of Barca.
So attack through the wings and straight lobs to Drogba for him to bring Chelsea into the play. The rest of midfield will be defending and attacking on the break. If we let Barca score, we will have to open up and Barca can tear you apart with their counter attacking or even direct attempts. So the second leg remains a thrilling tactical battle. I will not be surprised for Guus to start practising penalty kicks or aim to kill off Barca in extra time when away goals do not count.
Cech(Keeper), Bosingwa(LB), Alex and Terry(CB),Ivanovic(RB), Essien and Mikel(Defensive Midfielders/Holding Midfielders) with Essien given more attacking freedom while Mikel is to hold the fort at all times, Lampard and Ballack (central attacking midfielders) and Drogba (lone striker), while Malouda is to help out Bosingwa in defending against Alves and Messi and also exploit the space left by Alves just to keep the right side of Barca in check.
Now Henry plays down the left side of Barca without drifting towards the centre because Eto and Messi are there. Messi is on the right but cuts in very often to draw free kicks or work a 1-2 with Alves or Iniesta. Eto was kept very quiet but broke away once after leaving Alex dead and nutmegging Terry. Luckily Cech and the two central defenders did well to slow him down and close his angle before he could take a shot.
Xavi is a very intelligent player who is currently protecting the defence and starting all the attacks. He was simply too impressive yesterday and even robbed Lampard of the ball a few times. Now Guus was correct to take off Lampard because he was not playing well. That was because he made a few bad fouls and not keeping the ball well. At the moment, Essien, Ballack and Drogba are doing very well in keeping the ball, linking up play or defending.
Now, the right side of the field is somewhere Chelsea could look to exploit with Ashley Cole back. Messi does not defend at all when he gets marked out of the game. Perhaps Malouda with his newly found form could look to attack Alves with more regularity and partnership with Ashley. Yesterday no attacks were made on the left hand side of the field because Chelsea did not play with a right midfielder. Ballack occasionally gets into that position but he brings the ball in.
The right side of the field is not a problem because once you get the measure of Henry, Abidal is ageing and does not provide enough attacking threat. Of course that is if you do get the measure of Henry. Ivanovic was beaten a few times but closed down the space sufficiently with Terry helping him.
Chelsea played alot of long balls up to Drogba which he wins with ease yesterday but because of Barca's insanely fast midfield, the attacks were always broken up. However two things worked in favour of Chelsea with Marquez(meniscus) and Puyol (second yellow card) ruled out for the game at Stamford Bridge.
Now lets talk about the shape of Barca. Valdes in goal, with the back four of Alves(RB), Pique and Marquez(replaced by Puyol) (CB) and Abidal(LB), Yaya Toure(defensive midfield), Iniesta and Xavi(central attacking midfield), Messi(right forward), Eto(central forward), Henry(left forward) in a 1-4-1-2-3 manner. They will be playing the same team next week minus one central defender. So Martin Caceres, Xavi Torres or Sylvinho could come into central defence to partner Pique. Or even Yaya could be moved back and Keita be used as the holding midfielder.
Of course, Guardiola might want to play it safer with Eto and Messi up front while throwing in another midfielder like Hleb to stretch play. Or Keita to offer more protection to the defence. Guus will definitely have taken that into account when he plans his offensive for next week.
So the backline of Barca is very good to attack. If Lampard can get his form next week, Chelsea can use route one again to take the game to Barca. Drogba was winning almost every long ball but his teammates were too cautious and not fast enough to link up with him. Pique did a very good job yesterday but Chelsea will look to exploit his inexperience next week. Iniesta was definitely more impressive than any of the players on the pitch yesterday. You cannot also catch Messi once he starts dribbling, unless you physically catch him and foul him.
So Essien and Mikel or Ballack and Mikel needs to snuff out the threats of both Xavi and Iniesta. Ashley and Malouda will work on Messi and Alves. Essien could break away and he dribbles out of tight situation ever so well.
Perhaps Anelka could be used as a right winger or right forward to offer more threat against the ageing Abidal. Henry does not help out in defence as well so If Chelsea can stretch Barca on the wings, Drogba. Lampard or Essien can cut through the middle and go straight against the Barca defense. That is if you can keep Xavi and Iniesta quiet. Ballack is having a good spell so he might be able to play against them.
So if we can get Lampard and Mikel up to scratch, Chelsea has a very good chance to winning the game at the Bridge. Of course, the most important thing is still not to concede so no gungho football will be served up from the off. Perhaps Hiddink would want Chelsea to retain more of the ball and certain players like Alex and Ballack might just be one booking away from missing the final.. so they have got to be really careful.
In conclusion, mark out Messi, Xavi and Iniesta. With Messi you really have to get Ashley to stick really close and Essien or Mikel to deputise if Ashley is linking up in attack. While Xavi and Iniesta will have to neutralize via the midfield battle with Ballack and Lampard. With Drogba and Malouda or Anelka against Barca's defense, it is highly possible to get a few goals.
With Ashley back, a fit Bosingwa might move back to right back and Ivanovic might just have to make way. He was abit unsteady against Henry but played intelligently and worked very hard. He was also fearless and it will be interesting to see if Bosingwa gets his place back. After all, Bosingwa may be faster than Ivanovic but Bosingwa lets opponents get past him as well because he is not that good a tackler. He goes up in attack often and usually when he does not perform, Chelsea does not play well as well. But then again, a flying Bosingwa with Anelka on the right might just tear down that side of Barca.
So attack through the wings and straight lobs to Drogba for him to bring Chelsea into the play. The rest of midfield will be defending and attacking on the break. If we let Barca score, we will have to open up and Barca can tear you apart with their counter attacking or even direct attempts. So the second leg remains a thrilling tactical battle. I will not be surprised for Guus to start practising penalty kicks or aim to kill off Barca in extra time when away goals do not count.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Time to board
When I drink, even if it is just a few sip, I get flushed almost immediately. Then peripheral parasthesia will set in and together with dyspepsia, make me wish I never started drinking. So it is, I really cannot drink and shall not drink. I wonder if there is an enzyme defiency that will lead to my symptoms specifically.
YEsterday, my last day, I spent the afternoon at Thamshui. Fishermen's pier. At 3.30pm, I walked past a street artiste who was belting out wonderful Taiwan oldies. I was just so mesmerised by his singing that I stood that for an hour just letting myself caught in his songs and music. The rain started to fall, abit of drizzle only and together with the sea right in front, it makes for a really emotional hour.
YEsterday, my last day, I spent the afternoon at Thamshui. Fishermen's pier. At 3.30pm, I walked past a street artiste who was belting out wonderful Taiwan oldies. I was just so mesmerised by his singing that I stood that for an hour just letting myself caught in his songs and music. The rain started to fall, abit of drizzle only and together with the sea right in front, it makes for a really emotional hour.
The laptop is burning my crotch
The marvels of technology and my innate ability to wake up at the right time see me able to create this blog entry in Zhong Zheng Airport. The plane is due to take off in another hour so that leaves me with plenty of time to reflect on a swift 3 weeks in Taiwan. Before that, I took to bed at only 5am and as much as I told myself not to fall asleep, I inadvertibly did so. To my horror that when I woke, the sky was bright and a sense of foreboding fell upon me. I let out a few cries of desperation before checking my watch which somehow still read 6.30am. Luckily the sky turns bright early here, at around 5am. A consortium of air stewardesses just boarded the plane. Perhaps it would be fun for my girlfriend to be one too. Imagine the number of free tickets for the family and they will all be first or business class. Why are they always so tall? My guess is that they need to help us load the luggage into the overhead cabin. Looks does not always come into the equation, neither does age. I have seen my fair share of obasans on the planes, they usually just stand at the door and greet you welcome or goodbye.
So next stop will be Hongkong. My second trip to disneyland and hopefully I will find enough in my tank to muster a trip to ocean park. My luggage is already overweight and even my hand carry is bulky and heavy which makes it really cumbersome to carry.
I guess I will miss taiwan because of the relatively stressfree environment and good food. Of course, there are stuff in Singapore you can hardly find in Taiwan. Which explains why I am headed back and not attempting to overextend my stay here. With lodging at only $350 for 3 weeks, food and other expenses do not come up to $1000. That means if I can secure a job that pays at least $2000 and above, life will be good in Taiwan. Good alone. I can survive on my own. Travel on my own, find accomodation alone, do everything alone. I am a survivor.
Ok now for some sleazy information. A friend asked me to bring him to a pub or nightclub. Because he wants to try some Taiwan pussys before going back to Singapore. I just talk a good talk. In theory it is easy. Go to a pub, look out for some lonely chick or a couple of them, approach them, pay for their drinks and bingo, you have secured yourself a night of fun. So when he got really serious and kept asking me to go, I was caught in a catch 22 situation. Luckily our schedules were quite hectic and we did much travelling that we did not really find time to go to a club. Someone at the University told me all the most happening clubs in Taipei and even urged me to go and have a one night stand there. I think maybe it was because I let it be known that my friends were keen to have a bit of fun. I turned down my friend twice to go to a club simply because I rather sleep than waste energy dancing and getting myself drunk.
However I still managed to glean some valuable strategy on how to pick up girls. It is really not that simple. Unless you are D where girls are queueing up to get themselves screwed in the ass by you. The rest of us mere mortals need to work harder, be patient, be prepared to buy a few drinks and risk a few disappointments. I will elaborate on that further next time. By the way, J told CC that a girl asked me out at night and both CC and LK bought the story. I guess I must not be so vocal about my theories any more. Alot of guys think they are real.
Of course, the rest of my Taiwan trip was healthy and involved plenty of walking around night markets, visiting Gorges and farms and does not involve any girls. And plenty of time in the hospital. I will miss my tutor and I actually forgot to take a picture with him on the last day. That is one less photo for my facebook! What a waste. I do hope that he comes to Singapore again with his family and this time I can actually play host to them.
So next stop will be Hongkong. My second trip to disneyland and hopefully I will find enough in my tank to muster a trip to ocean park. My luggage is already overweight and even my hand carry is bulky and heavy which makes it really cumbersome to carry.
I guess I will miss taiwan because of the relatively stressfree environment and good food. Of course, there are stuff in Singapore you can hardly find in Taiwan. Which explains why I am headed back and not attempting to overextend my stay here. With lodging at only $350 for 3 weeks, food and other expenses do not come up to $1000. That means if I can secure a job that pays at least $2000 and above, life will be good in Taiwan. Good alone. I can survive on my own. Travel on my own, find accomodation alone, do everything alone. I am a survivor.
Ok now for some sleazy information. A friend asked me to bring him to a pub or nightclub. Because he wants to try some Taiwan pussys before going back to Singapore. I just talk a good talk. In theory it is easy. Go to a pub, look out for some lonely chick or a couple of them, approach them, pay for their drinks and bingo, you have secured yourself a night of fun. So when he got really serious and kept asking me to go, I was caught in a catch 22 situation. Luckily our schedules were quite hectic and we did much travelling that we did not really find time to go to a club. Someone at the University told me all the most happening clubs in Taipei and even urged me to go and have a one night stand there. I think maybe it was because I let it be known that my friends were keen to have a bit of fun. I turned down my friend twice to go to a club simply because I rather sleep than waste energy dancing and getting myself drunk.
However I still managed to glean some valuable strategy on how to pick up girls. It is really not that simple. Unless you are D where girls are queueing up to get themselves screwed in the ass by you. The rest of us mere mortals need to work harder, be patient, be prepared to buy a few drinks and risk a few disappointments. I will elaborate on that further next time. By the way, J told CC that a girl asked me out at night and both CC and LK bought the story. I guess I must not be so vocal about my theories any more. Alot of guys think they are real.
Of course, the rest of my Taiwan trip was healthy and involved plenty of walking around night markets, visiting Gorges and farms and does not involve any girls. And plenty of time in the hospital. I will miss my tutor and I actually forgot to take a picture with him on the last day. That is one less photo for my facebook! What a waste. I do hope that he comes to Singapore again with his family and this time I can actually play host to them.
Friday, April 24, 2009
.......................
黑暗中的我们都没有说话
你只想回家
不想你回家
寂寞深的像海太让人害怕
温柔你的手
轻轻揉着我的发
你的眉眼说
你好渴望我拥抱
你身体却在拼命逃
但欲望在燃烧
你爱我还是他
是不是真的他要比我好
你为谁在挣扎
爱我还是他
就说出你想说的真心话
你到底要跟我还是他
爱爱爱......
这是不是命运对我的惩罚
爱你也没办法
恨你也没办法
陷在这个漩涡只想挣脱它
拉住你的手
却让我也被拖下
你的眉眼说
你不渴望我拥抱
每当爱变成了煎熬
你就开始要逃
你爱我还是他
是不是我可以做他的好
你不再挣扎
爱我还是他
我宁愿听到残忍的回答
也不要再被耍
你爱我还是他
我为你找了一百个理由
我就是那么傻
爱我还是他
是否沉默代替你的回答
我应该明白吗
爱我是他噢
你都已看不到我们的好
我还会心牵挂
你爱我还是他
是否沉默就是你的回答
我们都别挣扎
去爱他
你只想回家
不想你回家
寂寞深的像海太让人害怕
温柔你的手
轻轻揉着我的发
你的眉眼说
你好渴望我拥抱
你身体却在拼命逃
但欲望在燃烧
你爱我还是他
是不是真的他要比我好
你为谁在挣扎
爱我还是他
就说出你想说的真心话
你到底要跟我还是他
爱爱爱......
这是不是命运对我的惩罚
爱你也没办法
恨你也没办法
陷在这个漩涡只想挣脱它
拉住你的手
却让我也被拖下
你的眉眼说
你不渴望我拥抱
每当爱变成了煎熬
你就开始要逃
你爱我还是他
是不是我可以做他的好
你不再挣扎
爱我还是他
我宁愿听到残忍的回答
也不要再被耍
你爱我还是他
我为你找了一百个理由
我就是那么傻
爱我还是他
是否沉默代替你的回答
我应该明白吗
爱我是他噢
你都已看不到我们的好
我还会心牵挂
你爱我还是他
是否沉默就是你的回答
我们都别挣扎
去爱他
Frank Lampard
Frank Lampard has hit back at a radio DJ who labelled him ''scum'' on a live broadcast, after accusations that he was a bad father following his bitter split from fiancée Elen Rives.
Empics
Frank Lampard hit out in the live broadcast.
• Listen to Lampard's outburst here...
The England and Chelsea midfielder called the phone-in show in a 15-minute rant to blast LBC presenter James O'Brien, after the DJ said that men who allow their children to live in inferior circumstances to them were "weak and scum".
His sister had been listening to the show and was angered by negative comments callers made about the footballer, which spurred the England star to phone in.
In an emotional and angry exchange, Lampard said: "Since I've had kids every penny I earn and every yard I run on the football pitch is for my kids. It hurts me every day when I wake up and my kids are not there."
The 30-year-old called the presenter an "idiot" for upsetting his family on the first anniversary of his mother's death and accused Rives of "having had a few drinks" when she made the remarks in a national newspaper.
He said: "Someone approached her in a bar and got her talking after she had a few drinks. My ex-girlfriend is very distressed about the story. She gave it away in a moment of weakness."
Miss Rives said that their daughters Luna, three, and Isla, one, were living in a small flat while Lampard had stayed in their £8.5m townhouse.
But Lampard said: "They are living in a temporary flat which is actually in Fulham. It's not a bad flat at all. I am buying a house at the moment which is going to be of equal standard to mine if not better.
"It hurts me every day when I wake up and my kids are not there. Luckily I have a relationship with my ex-girlfriend where we will share custody or whatever you want to call it. For three nights a week - and I'm away two or three nights for my football - the kids wake up in my house. I look after them solely."
Lampard became emotional when O'Brien said that he also had daughters and would fight "tooth and nail" to keep his family together.
He said: "What do you think I have been doing for the last two years? Let me tell you something now, right, my mother died a year ago today and that has had a huge impact on my life and my family's life and on my sister's life and unfortunately that has had a huge impact on my relationship at home. I find it insulting that you insinuate I wouldn't fight tooth and nail for my kids. You don't know anything about me.
"The hardest part of this break-up is not waking up with my kids every day. So before you start insinuating and calling people weak and scum on a radio station, sitting on a high horse which you are.. I hope one day that your wife or your girlfriend doesn't come up to you and say, I don't want to be with you any more. That will hurt you as well."
He then went on to tell O'Brien that he had no right to discuss his personal life.
He said: "I have to wake up and listen to idiots like you say, I read this' and this is what he's doing' and it's wrong. I put up with it and keep my mouth shut. The only reason I rang you is because my sister is distressed and as I said, it's the anniversary of my mum's death.
"Do you think my sister needs to hear idiots like you saying that on the radio station?"
O'Brien apologised for bringing up the issue on the anniversary of Lampard's mother's death, but added: "You will understand that I am not likely to have an anniversary like that in my desktop diary.
"You cannot expect verbatim first-hand quotes from the mother of your children to go unremarked by the general public."
The conversation then ended like this:
Frank: Listen I've spoken much too much about my private life today already - I didn't expect to have a phone call with you this morning. So I'll leave it there thank you.
James: So you won't give us a quick rundown on your thoughts for the champions league semi-final then.
Frank: No, I certainly won't.
Empics
Frank Lampard hit out in the live broadcast.
• Listen to Lampard's outburst here...
The England and Chelsea midfielder called the phone-in show in a 15-minute rant to blast LBC presenter James O'Brien, after the DJ said that men who allow their children to live in inferior circumstances to them were "weak and scum".
His sister had been listening to the show and was angered by negative comments callers made about the footballer, which spurred the England star to phone in.
In an emotional and angry exchange, Lampard said: "Since I've had kids every penny I earn and every yard I run on the football pitch is for my kids. It hurts me every day when I wake up and my kids are not there."
The 30-year-old called the presenter an "idiot" for upsetting his family on the first anniversary of his mother's death and accused Rives of "having had a few drinks" when she made the remarks in a national newspaper.
He said: "Someone approached her in a bar and got her talking after she had a few drinks. My ex-girlfriend is very distressed about the story. She gave it away in a moment of weakness."
Miss Rives said that their daughters Luna, three, and Isla, one, were living in a small flat while Lampard had stayed in their £8.5m townhouse.
But Lampard said: "They are living in a temporary flat which is actually in Fulham. It's not a bad flat at all. I am buying a house at the moment which is going to be of equal standard to mine if not better.
"It hurts me every day when I wake up and my kids are not there. Luckily I have a relationship with my ex-girlfriend where we will share custody or whatever you want to call it. For three nights a week - and I'm away two or three nights for my football - the kids wake up in my house. I look after them solely."
Lampard became emotional when O'Brien said that he also had daughters and would fight "tooth and nail" to keep his family together.
He said: "What do you think I have been doing for the last two years? Let me tell you something now, right, my mother died a year ago today and that has had a huge impact on my life and my family's life and on my sister's life and unfortunately that has had a huge impact on my relationship at home. I find it insulting that you insinuate I wouldn't fight tooth and nail for my kids. You don't know anything about me.
"The hardest part of this break-up is not waking up with my kids every day. So before you start insinuating and calling people weak and scum on a radio station, sitting on a high horse which you are.. I hope one day that your wife or your girlfriend doesn't come up to you and say, I don't want to be with you any more. That will hurt you as well."
He then went on to tell O'Brien that he had no right to discuss his personal life.
He said: "I have to wake up and listen to idiots like you say, I read this' and this is what he's doing' and it's wrong. I put up with it and keep my mouth shut. The only reason I rang you is because my sister is distressed and as I said, it's the anniversary of my mum's death.
"Do you think my sister needs to hear idiots like you saying that on the radio station?"
O'Brien apologised for bringing up the issue on the anniversary of Lampard's mother's death, but added: "You will understand that I am not likely to have an anniversary like that in my desktop diary.
"You cannot expect verbatim first-hand quotes from the mother of your children to go unremarked by the general public."
The conversation then ended like this:
Frank: Listen I've spoken much too much about my private life today already - I didn't expect to have a phone call with you this morning. So I'll leave it there thank you.
James: So you won't give us a quick rundown on your thoughts for the champions league semi-final then.
Frank: No, I certainly won't.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Chelsea
Chelsea denied Liverpool the glory of another sensational European comeback to reach the semi-finals of the Champions League with a 7-5 aggregate win.
Liverpool, trailing 3-1 from the first leg at Anfield, stunned the Blues with two first-half goals from Fabio Aurelio and Xabi Alonso, who scored a penalty.
Chelsea's defensive frailties, exposed so clinically by Bolton in the Premier League at the weekend, looked like costing them a place in the last four as Liverpool, without their talismanic midfielder Steven Gerrard, threatened to pull off another miracle.
But the Blues looked home and dry after producing a sensational comeback of their own - scoring three times in the second half to lead 6-3 on aggregate at one stage.
Yet this incredible contest took another twist when Liverpool scored twice in as many minutes through Lucas and Dirk Kuyt to leave them just one goal adrift of an incredible victory.
However, Frank Lampard's second in the 89th minute secured a 4-4 draw on the night and a date with Barcelona.
The home side had been outplayed in the opening 45 minutes and had barely threatened to get on the scoresheet despite coach Guus Hiddink's pre-match assertion that Chelsea would go for more goals.
They had to wait until six minutes after the break for the goal which eased the growing pressure on their ambitions of reaching the final in Rome.
Didier Drogba's effort was deflected into the back of the net by Liverpool goalkeeper Jose Reina and a stunning 25-yard free-kick from Brazilian defender Alex then looked to have eased any remaining worries.
When Lampard added a third in the 76th minute the tie seemed to be effectively all over, but Liverpool had other ideas.
Liverpool boss Rafael Benitez had always maintained the first goal would be the most important but when Kuyt collected a pass from Yossi Benayoun and fired over in the 13th minute, he could have been forgiven for thinking that perhaps the task ahead was indeed far too great.
But six minutes later Liverpool were in dreamland when they punished Lampard's push on Kuyt in spectacular fashion.
With everyone expecting the free-kick from the right of goal to be pumped high into the centre of the penalty area, Aurelio stunned everyone, including the flat-footed Petr Cech, by firing his 30-yard effort straight into the bottom near corner of the net.
Referee Luis Cantalejo then rightly awarded Liverpool a penalty when Chelsea's first-leg goal hero Branislav Ivanovic clearly held back Alonso.
The Liverpool midfielder stepped up to beat Cech and suddenly the impossible seemed possible.
Chelsea had Cech to thank for keeping them on level terms on aggregate when he tipped away a header from Kuyt in the final minute of the opening half.
Hiddink's side needed a goal to take the sting out of Liverpool's motivation and it arrived somewhat fortunately in the 51st minute.
Nicolas Anelka, a 35th-minute replacement for the poor Salomon Kalou, crossed low from the right and Drogba got a touch on the ball, with Reina only able to turn it over the line.
Chelsea made it 2-2 on the night when Jamie Carragher's foul on Drogba was punished by a fierce 25-yard free-kick by Alex.
With 14 minutes remaining Liverpool's dreams looked finished when Drogba crossed for Lampard to apply the finish.
But a long-range effort from Lucas was deflected off Michael Essien and beyond Cech in the 81st minute and, somewhat astonishingly, Kuyt put Liverpool 4-3 ahead on the night with a six-yard header two minutes later.
But with Liverpool needing one more goal for a glorious victory in this emotional week on Merseyside, 20 years on from the Hillsborough disaster, Lampard ended a stunning contest with his second of the night in the last minute.
Chelsea will face Barcelona in the last four but only after Liverpool had pushed them all the way in a pulsating contest that was a marvellous showcase for English and European football.
Benitez must have wished Gerrard had been fit enough to play as his contribution may well have been the telling one, on a night when the Reds almost managed to achieve the unthinkable.
Liverpool, trailing 3-1 from the first leg at Anfield, stunned the Blues with two first-half goals from Fabio Aurelio and Xabi Alonso, who scored a penalty.
Chelsea's defensive frailties, exposed so clinically by Bolton in the Premier League at the weekend, looked like costing them a place in the last four as Liverpool, without their talismanic midfielder Steven Gerrard, threatened to pull off another miracle.
But the Blues looked home and dry after producing a sensational comeback of their own - scoring three times in the second half to lead 6-3 on aggregate at one stage.
Yet this incredible contest took another twist when Liverpool scored twice in as many minutes through Lucas and Dirk Kuyt to leave them just one goal adrift of an incredible victory.
However, Frank Lampard's second in the 89th minute secured a 4-4 draw on the night and a date with Barcelona.
The home side had been outplayed in the opening 45 minutes and had barely threatened to get on the scoresheet despite coach Guus Hiddink's pre-match assertion that Chelsea would go for more goals.
They had to wait until six minutes after the break for the goal which eased the growing pressure on their ambitions of reaching the final in Rome.
Didier Drogba's effort was deflected into the back of the net by Liverpool goalkeeper Jose Reina and a stunning 25-yard free-kick from Brazilian defender Alex then looked to have eased any remaining worries.
When Lampard added a third in the 76th minute the tie seemed to be effectively all over, but Liverpool had other ideas.
Liverpool boss Rafael Benitez had always maintained the first goal would be the most important but when Kuyt collected a pass from Yossi Benayoun and fired over in the 13th minute, he could have been forgiven for thinking that perhaps the task ahead was indeed far too great.
But six minutes later Liverpool were in dreamland when they punished Lampard's push on Kuyt in spectacular fashion.
With everyone expecting the free-kick from the right of goal to be pumped high into the centre of the penalty area, Aurelio stunned everyone, including the flat-footed Petr Cech, by firing his 30-yard effort straight into the bottom near corner of the net.
Referee Luis Cantalejo then rightly awarded Liverpool a penalty when Chelsea's first-leg goal hero Branislav Ivanovic clearly held back Alonso.
The Liverpool midfielder stepped up to beat Cech and suddenly the impossible seemed possible.
Chelsea had Cech to thank for keeping them on level terms on aggregate when he tipped away a header from Kuyt in the final minute of the opening half.
Hiddink's side needed a goal to take the sting out of Liverpool's motivation and it arrived somewhat fortunately in the 51st minute.
Nicolas Anelka, a 35th-minute replacement for the poor Salomon Kalou, crossed low from the right and Drogba got a touch on the ball, with Reina only able to turn it over the line.
Chelsea made it 2-2 on the night when Jamie Carragher's foul on Drogba was punished by a fierce 25-yard free-kick by Alex.
With 14 minutes remaining Liverpool's dreams looked finished when Drogba crossed for Lampard to apply the finish.
But a long-range effort from Lucas was deflected off Michael Essien and beyond Cech in the 81st minute and, somewhat astonishingly, Kuyt put Liverpool 4-3 ahead on the night with a six-yard header two minutes later.
But with Liverpool needing one more goal for a glorious victory in this emotional week on Merseyside, 20 years on from the Hillsborough disaster, Lampard ended a stunning contest with his second of the night in the last minute.
Chelsea will face Barcelona in the last four but only after Liverpool had pushed them all the way in a pulsating contest that was a marvellous showcase for English and European football.
Benitez must have wished Gerrard had been fit enough to play as his contribution may well have been the telling one, on a night when the Reds almost managed to achieve the unthinkable.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Monday, April 13, 2009
My time in Taiwan
I think something nice should fill up my blog.
So I shall write abit about what has happened over in Taiwan.
This is what happened on my first night:
I am lying lazily in bed but today has been quite interesting so I decided to share it with you!It is actually quite cold here and I really regret not bringing one more jacket. It is actually quite boring to be alonein Taiwan. So while I was on the plane from Hongkong to Taiwan, I met an interesting uncle. The plane to Tw from Hk is actually quite empty. So almost everyone has an empty seat beside him. So I sat beside an empty seat, I am also beside the window. In the same row, an uncle is seated one seat away. He asked the stewardess for a beer in mandarin but the stewardess isJapanese so couldnt understand. I nice so I used english to convey his request. Later on he started chatting to me. Then say he will help me find a place to stay after I told him I am looking for a place to stay. ahha he actually paid for my bus ticket from airport to taipei. Then took me to his shop which sells vase and potterythen drove me around to look for a hotel. However he did not make much of a difference, I still ended up paying 30 per night . However I will just be staying at this run down hotel for one day before i move to the cleaner and more suitable for student hostel. at 25 per night. I miss you hor!!I went to Shilin night market for dinner. Ate smelly beancurd and chicken cutlet. Tomorrow shall be more thrifty! Here got hundred over channels! I am watching Tv while trying to fall asleep. OH yah got frightening thing..Coz i am staying in this really run down hotel.. they do not even have level four. I am staying on level four. which they named Level 5. Then as I collectedmy keys, I turned and saw this boy staring at me, half his body is hidden behind a door... It was quite dark and he seemed to havea greenish tinge. It looked quite freaky and I jumped abit..then the boy stretched his arm out towards me .. haha scary siaz.. why would young boy be staying in such a dirty place?
Second day:
Yesterday was quite uneventful. We went to XImenDing and had dinner there. I went with 5 other clasmate including a couple. How I wish you were here. I can just lug you around and plant a kiss on you whenever I want. Then I bumped into Andrew and Liankiat. Will be travelling this fri and sat with them to a farm, plus some pottery cottage where we can have some hands-on. Next week I will also be going to HuaLian and Taroko Gouge with them. I am really running out of cash. I shall go and change money afterwards. 7000 and 7500 for lodging and fees. WHich leaves me with 7100. However I just keep counting less money. I have no idea why. Today I sat in the clinic with my doctor. Saw plenty of patients with multiple sclerosis. An autoimmune disease which intermittently can cause weakness, numbness and vision disorders. Plenty of them. I just had lunch. It is curry pork chop plus egg wrapped rice. FOr $95, that is about 4.50 sing dollars. Tonight I will be watching Champions League. Man U vs Porto and Arsenal Vs VIllareal.Tomorrow is the exciting one where Chelsea will go to Liverpool. Then Liverpool will visitCHelsea two weeks later.
I had a nightmare yesterday. YEsterday we went to Ximending. There were two girls in ghost costumesand makeup. They were promoting a school carnival and their class is setting up a house of horror. We took pictures with them naturally. Then later yetsreday night, I dream I was neighbours with one maid who was sitting beside her asleep employer and flashing me a really eerie smile. I cannotremember if she had rotting flesh on her face. Then there was another boy who was glowing a ghastly green sitting on the floor and looking at me. I am feeling asleepy and fell asleep just now behind my doctor. For about 10 minutes. Now I shall go tothe wards and wait for him to do his ward rounds. WHich will then conclude my day!
Yesterday night:
Yah yesterday I went to Wo Cai Wo Cai Wo Cai Cai Cai, Gigi Leong was one of the guest. She and Jackie Wu did not take pictures with anyone. But the rest of the stars did. I took one with one Taiwanese aunty celebrity. although I have no idea who she is. Then the show also invited 3 pretty girls they spottedon the streets. Me and my friends were asked to vote on who is the prettiest. At the end we also took pictures with them. I missed the group photo with Ah Ya.I think the show is going to end soon with Jackie Wu retiring. So no chance to take you there.
The other night I took a bus to Fishermen's Pier. There were no one there because it was too late and the place fills up only during the weekends. But the nightmarket nearit was not too bad, I managed to buy alot of stuff to give to friends when I comeback.
So I shall write abit about what has happened over in Taiwan.
This is what happened on my first night:
I am lying lazily in bed but today has been quite interesting so I decided to share it with you!It is actually quite cold here and I really regret not bringing one more jacket. It is actually quite boring to be alonein Taiwan. So while I was on the plane from Hongkong to Taiwan, I met an interesting uncle. The plane to Tw from Hk is actually quite empty. So almost everyone has an empty seat beside him. So I sat beside an empty seat, I am also beside the window. In the same row, an uncle is seated one seat away. He asked the stewardess for a beer in mandarin but the stewardess isJapanese so couldnt understand. I nice so I used english to convey his request. Later on he started chatting to me. Then say he will help me find a place to stay after I told him I am looking for a place to stay. ahha he actually paid for my bus ticket from airport to taipei. Then took me to his shop which sells vase and potterythen drove me around to look for a hotel. However he did not make much of a difference, I still ended up paying 30 per night . However I will just be staying at this run down hotel for one day before i move to the cleaner and more suitable for student hostel. at 25 per night. I miss you hor!!I went to Shilin night market for dinner. Ate smelly beancurd and chicken cutlet. Tomorrow shall be more thrifty! Here got hundred over channels! I am watching Tv while trying to fall asleep. OH yah got frightening thing..Coz i am staying in this really run down hotel.. they do not even have level four. I am staying on level four. which they named Level 5. Then as I collectedmy keys, I turned and saw this boy staring at me, half his body is hidden behind a door... It was quite dark and he seemed to havea greenish tinge. It looked quite freaky and I jumped abit..then the boy stretched his arm out towards me .. haha scary siaz.. why would young boy be staying in such a dirty place?
Second day:
Yesterday was quite uneventful. We went to XImenDing and had dinner there. I went with 5 other clasmate including a couple. How I wish you were here. I can just lug you around and plant a kiss on you whenever I want. Then I bumped into Andrew and Liankiat. Will be travelling this fri and sat with them to a farm, plus some pottery cottage where we can have some hands-on. Next week I will also be going to HuaLian and Taroko Gouge with them. I am really running out of cash. I shall go and change money afterwards. 7000 and 7500 for lodging and fees. WHich leaves me with 7100. However I just keep counting less money. I have no idea why. Today I sat in the clinic with my doctor. Saw plenty of patients with multiple sclerosis. An autoimmune disease which intermittently can cause weakness, numbness and vision disorders. Plenty of them. I just had lunch. It is curry pork chop plus egg wrapped rice. FOr $95, that is about 4.50 sing dollars. Tonight I will be watching Champions League. Man U vs Porto and Arsenal Vs VIllareal.Tomorrow is the exciting one where Chelsea will go to Liverpool. Then Liverpool will visitCHelsea two weeks later.
I had a nightmare yesterday. YEsterday we went to Ximending. There were two girls in ghost costumesand makeup. They were promoting a school carnival and their class is setting up a house of horror. We took pictures with them naturally. Then later yetsreday night, I dream I was neighbours with one maid who was sitting beside her asleep employer and flashing me a really eerie smile. I cannotremember if she had rotting flesh on her face. Then there was another boy who was glowing a ghastly green sitting on the floor and looking at me. I am feeling asleepy and fell asleep just now behind my doctor. For about 10 minutes. Now I shall go tothe wards and wait for him to do his ward rounds. WHich will then conclude my day!
Yesterday night:
Yah yesterday I went to Wo Cai Wo Cai Wo Cai Cai Cai, Gigi Leong was one of the guest. She and Jackie Wu did not take pictures with anyone. But the rest of the stars did. I took one with one Taiwanese aunty celebrity. although I have no idea who she is. Then the show also invited 3 pretty girls they spottedon the streets. Me and my friends were asked to vote on who is the prettiest. At the end we also took pictures with them. I missed the group photo with Ah Ya.I think the show is going to end soon with Jackie Wu retiring. So no chance to take you there.
The other night I took a bus to Fishermen's Pier. There were no one there because it was too late and the place fills up only during the weekends. But the nightmarket nearit was not too bad, I managed to buy alot of stuff to give to friends when I comeback.
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
Baffled
I wish I knew how to quit you.
Why not make me happy by telling me you will not see him for the next few months? Just to make me happy. I do not understand.
Why not make me happy by telling me you will not see him for the next few months? Just to make me happy. I do not understand.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Love is always patient;13
love is always kind;
love is never envious
or arrogant with pride.
Nor is she conceited,
5 and she is never rude;
she never thinks just of herself
or ever get annoyed.
She never is resentful;
6 is never glad with sin,
but always glad to side with truth,
whene'er the truth should win.[b]
7 She bears up under everything,
believes the best in all,
there is no limit to her hope,
and she will never fall.
8Love never fails. Now if there are prophecies, they will be done away with. If there are languages, they will cease. If there is knowledge, it will be done away with. 9For what we know is incomplete and what we prophesy is incomplete. 10But when what is complete[c] comes, then what is incomplete will be done away with.
11When I was a child, I spoke like a child, thought like a child, and reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up my childish ways. 12Now we see only an indistinct image in a mirror, but then we will be face to face. Now what I know is incomplete, but then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known.
13Right now three things remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.
I am sorry but I realized I do not love you..
love is always kind;
love is never envious
or arrogant with pride.
Nor is she conceited,
5 and she is never rude;
she never thinks just of herself
or ever get annoyed.
She never is resentful;
6 is never glad with sin,
but always glad to side with truth,
whene'er the truth should win.[b]
7 She bears up under everything,
believes the best in all,
there is no limit to her hope,
and she will never fall.
8Love never fails. Now if there are prophecies, they will be done away with. If there are languages, they will cease. If there is knowledge, it will be done away with. 9For what we know is incomplete and what we prophesy is incomplete. 10But when what is complete[c] comes, then what is incomplete will be done away with.
11When I was a child, I spoke like a child, thought like a child, and reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up my childish ways. 12Now we see only an indistinct image in a mirror, but then we will be face to face. Now what I know is incomplete, but then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known.
13Right now three things remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.
I am sorry but I realized I do not love you..
你的回话凌乱着在这个时刻我想起喷泉旁的白鸽甜蜜散落了情绪莫名的拉扯我还爱你呢而你断断续续唱着歌假装没事了时间过了走了爱情面临选择你冷了倦了我哭了离开时的不快乐你用卡片手写着有些爱只给到这真的痛了怎么了你累了说好的幸福呢我懂了不说了爱淡了梦远了开心与不开心一一细数着你再不舍那些爱过的感觉都太深刻我都还记得你不等了说好的幸福呢我错了泪干了放手了后悔了只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着要怎么停呢你的回话凌乱着在这个时刻我想起喷泉旁的白鸽甜蜜散落了情绪莫名的拉扯我还爱你呢而你断断续续唱着歌假装没事了时间过了走了爱情面临选择你冷了倦了我哭了离开时的不快乐你用卡片手写着有些爱只给到这真的痛了怎么了你累了说好的幸福呢我懂了不说了爱淡了梦远了开心与不开心一一细数着你再不舍那些爱过的感觉都太深刻我都还记得你不等了说好的幸福呢我错了泪干了放手了后悔了只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着要怎么停呢怎么了你累了说好的幸福呢我懂了不说了爱淡了梦远了我都还记得你不等了说好的幸福呢我错了泪干了放手了后悔了只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着要怎么停呢~~end~~
no more no more no more no more
no more no more no more no more
Saturday, March 28, 2009
There has been a lot of silence. There seem to be nothing wrong so there is nothing to say. When there is emptiness, most often there is also silence. How I wish I can just sit down and listen to you talk about everything that matters to you. How I wish I can listen to what you say to him and what you message him. Because I feel the spark is lost. I rather be a best friend with you now because perhaps then we will have things to talk about.
The problem lies with me. I need that much attention. Although I am used to loneliness. Although I can go for days without having a proper conversation. Although I watch movies alone, I sing alone. But I still need a call at night. I hate whining and complaining. I do not need anyone. I am strong enough by myself and that shall be the way.
The problem lies with me. I need that much attention. Although I am used to loneliness. Although I can go for days without having a proper conversation. Although I watch movies alone, I sing alone. But I still need a call at night. I hate whining and complaining. I do not need anyone. I am strong enough by myself and that shall be the way.
The whole world is dead.
It is early in the morning and I am still awake. I feel like talking to someone, anyone but there is no one awake in this world except for me. I am not comforted by the incessant typing of the keyboard. I am not relieved that the churning of the CPU and the droning of the fan is not making me feel any better.
I really wished I did not say what I did this afternoon. I do not wish to lose her. Never. It was on a moment of impulse that a well rehearsed line came out. I am actually tired of saying and thinking the same thing over and over again.
I really wished I did not say what I did this afternoon. I do not wish to lose her. Never. It was on a moment of impulse that a well rehearsed line came out. I am actually tired of saying and thinking the same thing over and over again.
Friday, March 27, 2009
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