My foray into the culinary world. At 2.15 am, my fingers still smell cookies and chocolate. I had another wonderful day! Today is the first time I baked cookies. I am the proud father of a few hundred cookies! Of course, I had a dozen other friends helping me conceive my ambrosial infants. This is the Somanassa effort. A trip planned for this december and perhaps next June.
Fly fly fly far away to Myammar, to the village of somanssa and to the adorable children there. So before the participants may glide away, they need funds. And the rest bake cookies and sell them for a sizeable profit.
No tuitions today. Woke up late as usual. Took my time to get to school. Besides that, I also took a cab. So with my own time and a cab, I arrived just in time for the inauguration of the first batch of cookies! A top secret chef recipe. A sabotage and an accidental chef. And plenty of good-for _everything- except- those- requiring- brains people. I added myself to their numbers.
So for the first hour, i stood there. occasionally I would hoot my part in a mass orgy of conversation. just to make my presence known to myself.
I watched the brown sugar go in. Then the white sugar. Then the baking powder. Then the butter. Beaten and walloped. This goes on and on. I get the gist of it. Maybe I can graduate first class with honours in economics. Home economics. Just a random thought.
The first batch was biscuits. true that we meant to bake cookies. But right before our eyes and within the radiating incalescence of the oven, our hardwork expanded and expanded. We could smell a burning whiff. Sniff sniff.. The edges of the cookies are turning black. Time for some experimentation to get the stuff back on the right track.
Surely we cannot present the whole class with brownies or buscuits when they had ordered cookies.
We varied the shape, the size, the temperature and even the duration of the cookies within the oven. While keeping the rest of the variables constant. Flops just keep turning up. Have you seen a flattened cookie? If not, someday I will get you one and stuff it up your ass.
Sorry for the aberration, just feel like giving the readers of my blog a harmless derision.
So back to my cookies. Someone theorized that adding flour would probably increase the toughness of the cookies. They were too soft and often empty within the middle. So we did.
An abitrary unit. Really funny! So many abitrary units were added. Back on the right track.
So we toiled and sweated. From 11am till 8pm! 500 cookies were brought into this world. Amen. Ahem..
So cookies aside, for somanassa at least, I still have the Yun nan trip cookies to make. Same concept. BUt different trip and a whole new set of fund raising programmes. I actually got a bit fainthearted while thinking of my commitments. Then the disquietude struck me when the thought link itself to the most probable outcome for my studies.
This week I was late for 2 days and absent for another. Cancelled tuition tomorrow for ruminatio,meditation, memorizing, muse, musing, pondering, questioning, reading and reasoning!
Wonder if the outcome would be as usual as I get distracted by the computer and television. Woolgathering again? Highly likely!
Someone was telling me about how interesting her blog is. Yawnz. I think reading someone's blog is as interesting as watching eggs hatch. Never came across any one who writes captivating enough for me to want to read his or her blog. Grow up. Or go collect stamps. Anything but waste your time filling up your blog space in order FOR OThErs to read.
Played pool on friday. Kena trashed. Seems like in med sch, I keep getting lambasted by others. nevermind! I enjoyed it!! Plenty of free lunch time nowadays! Don't know what to do with them. But my friends are finding newfangled ways to relinquishing our time. What do I do on friday afternoons? Overload myself with formalinhyde vapor! Inside the anatomy hall with our mort buddies. Sorry I severed a nerve this week. But Anat classes are really beneficial as I need not waste energy visualizing how muscles and bones police up. I can touch and explore and associate the muscle with the name! Gastrocnemius, vastus lateralis ? Boy, I am getting pedantic.
Next Monday: Judo
Next Tues: Sports Club/Union meeting at 7pm
Next Thurs : extra Judo training. WHo conducts? None other than your Prominence. Then YunNan Meeting!
Next fri: Should have been our fortnightly Karaoke sessions. But my medical centre has a BBQ! Miss army life!
Next Sat: No time for anything but tuition.
Next sun? fathom a guess?
Saturday, October 01, 2005
Thursday, September 15, 2005
A little breathing space
I have been really busy.
SO many things have happened since my last entry.
My heart broke into a million pieces, and right now it is still bleeding.
Occasionally I would feel that breathing was difficult. A crushing pain
in my heart.
Love comes in many form. WHen a love departs, it enlarges your heart.
The space for the person will always remain. You just have more room
for hurt.
School started. FInally . Two years of waiting. EVen as I took up the scholarship,
I had always wondered what being a doctor would be like.
Time is always a pace ahead of me. Try as I might,
I am late for almost all the days. How can I ever be a competent doctor
if I continue in this sloppy fashion?
Time for improvement.
Tuitions.
7 times a week. I would often reach home at 10pm. My weekends are
stacked. One tuition after another. Beneath that stack, you would find
me, hardly gasping. However their exams are near, so it would be a responsibility
for me to see them through this hurdle. You had placed their confidence
in me, I must perservere.
School work.
11 out of 20. That is if I remembered correctly. I still managed
to squeeze in a few moments for glazing into my books.
But I totally did not study for this test. I shall allow myself
only one chance, next time I shall be better and stronger.
My classmates are wonderful people. Few of us would slack around.
Have prolonged self declared breaks and noodles eating sessions.
Not to forget the Karaoke sessions.
I like my tutorial group, think the people would make great friends.
Judo.
Vice chairman.
Finally managed to push through for 2 trainings per week.
National team. Still a dream. My injuries are seriously hampering me.
However my form is rising. There are so many things to substitute
for normal training. I cannot use my right hand. I still got promoted.
SParred twice for my Grading. Won them . SIngle handedly. My
opponents were also blue belts. I had expected a tougher fight.
True to my previous words. I have not lost a competitive match yet.
But I am not playing with the big boys yet.
Soon.
Have a few ideas for Judo. Maybe a trip to malacca could be on
our itinery. Train with a school, have a few competitive matches.
Inter faculty games. It was never done before for martial arts.
Why not.
IVP. We shall snatch the top varsity team title back this year.
I like leading training. Glad most of them like the intensity.
Have to improve my variety of techniques and imparting
methods. Strenuous exercises.
What cannot kill you makes you stronger.
I shall cherish those around me. Muackz mUackz.
I love my family.
Time would always be better spent with them than anything else.
5 years.
What I lack: sleep.
Life is meaningful.
Studies is being neglected.
But I shall pick up.
Judo. I shall get better. Think: champion.
SO many things have happened since my last entry.
My heart broke into a million pieces, and right now it is still bleeding.
Occasionally I would feel that breathing was difficult. A crushing pain
in my heart.
Love comes in many form. WHen a love departs, it enlarges your heart.
The space for the person will always remain. You just have more room
for hurt.
School started. FInally . Two years of waiting. EVen as I took up the scholarship,
I had always wondered what being a doctor would be like.
Time is always a pace ahead of me. Try as I might,
I am late for almost all the days. How can I ever be a competent doctor
if I continue in this sloppy fashion?
Time for improvement.
Tuitions.
7 times a week. I would often reach home at 10pm. My weekends are
stacked. One tuition after another. Beneath that stack, you would find
me, hardly gasping. However their exams are near, so it would be a responsibility
for me to see them through this hurdle. You had placed their confidence
in me, I must perservere.
School work.
11 out of 20. That is if I remembered correctly. I still managed
to squeeze in a few moments for glazing into my books.
But I totally did not study for this test. I shall allow myself
only one chance, next time I shall be better and stronger.
My classmates are wonderful people. Few of us would slack around.
Have prolonged self declared breaks and noodles eating sessions.
Not to forget the Karaoke sessions.
I like my tutorial group, think the people would make great friends.
Judo.
Vice chairman.
Finally managed to push through for 2 trainings per week.
National team. Still a dream. My injuries are seriously hampering me.
However my form is rising. There are so many things to substitute
for normal training. I cannot use my right hand. I still got promoted.
SParred twice for my Grading. Won them . SIngle handedly. My
opponents were also blue belts. I had expected a tougher fight.
True to my previous words. I have not lost a competitive match yet.
But I am not playing with the big boys yet.
Soon.
Have a few ideas for Judo. Maybe a trip to malacca could be on
our itinery. Train with a school, have a few competitive matches.
Inter faculty games. It was never done before for martial arts.
Why not.
IVP. We shall snatch the top varsity team title back this year.
I like leading training. Glad most of them like the intensity.
Have to improve my variety of techniques and imparting
methods. Strenuous exercises.
What cannot kill you makes you stronger.
I shall cherish those around me. Muackz mUackz.
I love my family.
Time would always be better spent with them than anything else.
5 years.
What I lack: sleep.
Life is meaningful.
Studies is being neglected.
But I shall pick up.
Judo. I shall get better. Think: champion.
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
Sunday, July 03, 2005
Thursday, June 23, 2005
Let me be simple
OK , shall write in simple simple english . I am tired tired lorh. very sianz. so late le, still cannot sleep. this supposed to be blog rite, so can anyhow write, singlish mah. me singaporean of coz blog in singlish.
had a few beautiful days this month. go out play play, eat eat, b* w*** x*** z**. eat until i so fat le. at night have difficulty sleeping.
then anyhow write rubbish on my blog. write le then still no use then write again. wahkao.. me loser la.
tml busy ah. morn go eat breakfast. like a pig. then evening go eat buffet coz my fren veron treat me. good la, at least got pple remember my birthday. lemme see. got around ten people remember. and it is quite different from last year's .
say meikhay, jez, basu and elvin remember my birthday for few years liao. the rest? doesn't really matter, i don't even remember other people's birthday. complain so much for wot.
what do i want to say? i also dunno. keep giving tuition until i blur le. every day also need to go out. sit beside someone and do really really simple questions. aiyo.. wake up la. i mean my students. just put in a bit more effort, be more focused .. why keep thinking of the things u enjoy?
i know you don't like studying. I also don't like.
you think i last time jc or secondary school siaoz on ar..sec sch also copy homework and always get single digits for maths wan. but then i realised cannot go on la. people dont trust u if u dont do well in exams. cannot go out and play and have fun. people think u never grow up and u lazy ...
if you really want to enjoy the things u do, then need to buck up le. every day eat shit and sleep wun help u get smarter de. got to give up somethings for a while.
u think i smart ar? my brain different from yo0urs? i wish.
studying is not about getting a certificate. it is kinda like a quest.
like playing a game. some things are just so repetitive. you got to kill so many monsters .. yawnz... before you can increase your level. so same goes for studying.
some people always say they cannot remember what they studied.
you watch movie also can tell me the plot, analyse the characters so thoroughly. you tell me you cannot remember some black and white graffiti?
what do i want in life? i started reading up a bit of my medical books.
not because i kiasu.
because as a doctor i got to be responsible for people. their lives and their health. dont wan to give someone wrong medicine and kill him. so my doctoring has already started. long time ago. when i decided to take my life seriously.
others may not choose the same career. but we are in one way or another responsible to ourselves and those around us. maybe the system is flawed. maybe we are not allowed to do the things we like. but this is life. shit aint happen your way. you cant change things. not unless you can change yourself.
learn to like what you are doing. every moment of your life is yours. not your teachers' or your parents. why be sad over little things or be angry? i don't take things to heart. hardly. because we really do have a choice to be happy or not. that choice lies in how you choose to see the world.
had a few beautiful days this month. go out play play, eat eat, b* w*** x*** z**. eat until i so fat le. at night have difficulty sleeping.
then anyhow write rubbish on my blog. write le then still no use then write again. wahkao.. me loser la.
tml busy ah. morn go eat breakfast. like a pig. then evening go eat buffet coz my fren veron treat me. good la, at least got pple remember my birthday. lemme see. got around ten people remember. and it is quite different from last year's .
say meikhay, jez, basu and elvin remember my birthday for few years liao. the rest? doesn't really matter, i don't even remember other people's birthday. complain so much for wot.
what do i want to say? i also dunno. keep giving tuition until i blur le. every day also need to go out. sit beside someone and do really really simple questions. aiyo.. wake up la. i mean my students. just put in a bit more effort, be more focused .. why keep thinking of the things u enjoy?
i know you don't like studying. I also don't like.
you think i last time jc or secondary school siaoz on ar..sec sch also copy homework and always get single digits for maths wan. but then i realised cannot go on la. people dont trust u if u dont do well in exams. cannot go out and play and have fun. people think u never grow up and u lazy ...
if you really want to enjoy the things u do, then need to buck up le. every day eat shit and sleep wun help u get smarter de. got to give up somethings for a while.
u think i smart ar? my brain different from yo0urs? i wish.
studying is not about getting a certificate. it is kinda like a quest.
like playing a game. some things are just so repetitive. you got to kill so many monsters .. yawnz... before you can increase your level. so same goes for studying.
some people always say they cannot remember what they studied.
you watch movie also can tell me the plot, analyse the characters so thoroughly. you tell me you cannot remember some black and white graffiti?
what do i want in life? i started reading up a bit of my medical books.
not because i kiasu.
because as a doctor i got to be responsible for people. their lives and their health. dont wan to give someone wrong medicine and kill him. so my doctoring has already started. long time ago. when i decided to take my life seriously.
others may not choose the same career. but we are in one way or another responsible to ourselves and those around us. maybe the system is flawed. maybe we are not allowed to do the things we like. but this is life. shit aint happen your way. you cant change things. not unless you can change yourself.
learn to like what you are doing. every moment of your life is yours. not your teachers' or your parents. why be sad over little things or be angry? i don't take things to heart. hardly. because we really do have a choice to be happy or not. that choice lies in how you choose to see the world.
Stirring Pain
I became hypersensitive to even the slightest sound. I became so aware of the silence that I find it droning. It is 4 am in the morning. I have a busy day ahead of me. I should be resting. The pillow seems stiff and the bed uncomfortably warm.
The air is stranggling me.
My eyes have been closed for the past hour but not my mind. Thoughts run across my mind like cars on a busy expressway. Then one of these cars collided with another. I could no longer stand the loud silence and quiet voice in my head.
So I woke up. Lying in bed with my eyes open. Thinking. Now the thoughts seem less pessimestic. I am slightly more conscious and rational.
Then it hit me so fast.I Can't breathe. Need to open my mouth to gasp for air. The world is spinning. I am frightened.
I feel so terribly lonely. There is no one who truly understands why I am afraid. I don't even understand it myself. Perhaps I do but I wish not to acknowledge it. I am a very big person. I am supposed to take on the world and not complain. The harshness and the sadness of life. My success may be greater than some people but my fears are as large and as real.
Should I be afraid of pain. Or should I create pain so that I may feel it?
What is painful? Waking up in the middle of the night, not knowing who you can talk to? Finding it impossible to be the most important person to the most important person in your life? Losing something that contains significant memories?
Felt pain for someone so badly that your heart is about to be crushed? The feeling that one can actually die from heart pain? Yet still wish for the pain not to ease if you may ease the misery of the person?
The air is stranggling me.
My eyes have been closed for the past hour but not my mind. Thoughts run across my mind like cars on a busy expressway. Then one of these cars collided with another. I could no longer stand the loud silence and quiet voice in my head.
So I woke up. Lying in bed with my eyes open. Thinking. Now the thoughts seem less pessimestic. I am slightly more conscious and rational.
Then it hit me so fast.I Can't breathe. Need to open my mouth to gasp for air. The world is spinning. I am frightened.
I feel so terribly lonely. There is no one who truly understands why I am afraid. I don't even understand it myself. Perhaps I do but I wish not to acknowledge it. I am a very big person. I am supposed to take on the world and not complain. The harshness and the sadness of life. My success may be greater than some people but my fears are as large and as real.
Should I be afraid of pain. Or should I create pain so that I may feel it?
What is painful? Waking up in the middle of the night, not knowing who you can talk to? Finding it impossible to be the most important person to the most important person in your life? Losing something that contains significant memories?
Felt pain for someone so badly that your heart is about to be crushed? The feeling that one can actually die from heart pain? Yet still wish for the pain not to ease if you may ease the misery of the person?
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
Why getting dumped feels like it does
Researchers are analysing brian images from 17 young men and women who recently were dumped by their lovers. The investigators have noticed one preliminary finding: increased activation in an area of the brain related to the region associated with passionate love. " It seems to suggest what psychological literature, peotry and people have long noticed: being dumped actually does heighten romantic love, a phenomenon I call frustration-attraction" said Dr Fisher.
One volunteer in the study suffered through a break-up with her boyfriend 3 years ago. " It had little to do with him, but more with the fact that there was something there, inside myself, a hope, a knowledge that there's someone out there for you, and that you are capable of feeling this way. I felt like that was being lost." she said.
And no wonder. In a series of studies, researchers have found that, among other processes, new love involves psychologically internalising a love, absorbing elements of the other person's opinions, hobbies, expressions and character, as well as sharing one's own. " The expansion of the self happens very rapidly. It is one of the most exhilarating experiences there is." said Dr Aron.
To love all that, all aat once, while still in love, plays havoc with the emotional, cognitive and deeper reward-driven areas of the brain.
But the heightened activity in there areas inevitably settles down. And the circuits in the brain related to passion remain intact and capable in time of flaring to life with someone new.
One volunteer in the study suffered through a break-up with her boyfriend 3 years ago. " It had little to do with him, but more with the fact that there was something there, inside myself, a hope, a knowledge that there's someone out there for you, and that you are capable of feeling this way. I felt like that was being lost." she said.
And no wonder. In a series of studies, researchers have found that, among other processes, new love involves psychologically internalising a love, absorbing elements of the other person's opinions, hobbies, expressions and character, as well as sharing one's own. " The expansion of the self happens very rapidly. It is one of the most exhilarating experiences there is." said Dr Aron.
To love all that, all aat once, while still in love, plays havoc with the emotional, cognitive and deeper reward-driven areas of the brain.
But the heightened activity in there areas inevitably settles down. And the circuits in the brain related to passion remain intact and capable in time of flaring to life with someone new.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)