Wednesday, July 06, 2005
Sunday, July 03, 2005
Thursday, June 23, 2005
Let me be simple
OK , shall write in simple simple english . I am tired tired lorh. very sianz. so late le, still cannot sleep. this supposed to be blog rite, so can anyhow write, singlish mah. me singaporean of coz blog in singlish.
had a few beautiful days this month. go out play play, eat eat, b* w*** x*** z**. eat until i so fat le. at night have difficulty sleeping.
then anyhow write rubbish on my blog. write le then still no use then write again. wahkao.. me loser la.
tml busy ah. morn go eat breakfast. like a pig. then evening go eat buffet coz my fren veron treat me. good la, at least got pple remember my birthday. lemme see. got around ten people remember. and it is quite different from last year's .
say meikhay, jez, basu and elvin remember my birthday for few years liao. the rest? doesn't really matter, i don't even remember other people's birthday. complain so much for wot.
what do i want to say? i also dunno. keep giving tuition until i blur le. every day also need to go out. sit beside someone and do really really simple questions. aiyo.. wake up la. i mean my students. just put in a bit more effort, be more focused .. why keep thinking of the things u enjoy?
i know you don't like studying. I also don't like.
you think i last time jc or secondary school siaoz on ar..sec sch also copy homework and always get single digits for maths wan. but then i realised cannot go on la. people dont trust u if u dont do well in exams. cannot go out and play and have fun. people think u never grow up and u lazy ...
if you really want to enjoy the things u do, then need to buck up le. every day eat shit and sleep wun help u get smarter de. got to give up somethings for a while.
u think i smart ar? my brain different from yo0urs? i wish.
studying is not about getting a certificate. it is kinda like a quest.
like playing a game. some things are just so repetitive. you got to kill so many monsters .. yawnz... before you can increase your level. so same goes for studying.
some people always say they cannot remember what they studied.
you watch movie also can tell me the plot, analyse the characters so thoroughly. you tell me you cannot remember some black and white graffiti?
what do i want in life? i started reading up a bit of my medical books.
not because i kiasu.
because as a doctor i got to be responsible for people. their lives and their health. dont wan to give someone wrong medicine and kill him. so my doctoring has already started. long time ago. when i decided to take my life seriously.
others may not choose the same career. but we are in one way or another responsible to ourselves and those around us. maybe the system is flawed. maybe we are not allowed to do the things we like. but this is life. shit aint happen your way. you cant change things. not unless you can change yourself.
learn to like what you are doing. every moment of your life is yours. not your teachers' or your parents. why be sad over little things or be angry? i don't take things to heart. hardly. because we really do have a choice to be happy or not. that choice lies in how you choose to see the world.
had a few beautiful days this month. go out play play, eat eat, b* w*** x*** z**. eat until i so fat le. at night have difficulty sleeping.
then anyhow write rubbish on my blog. write le then still no use then write again. wahkao.. me loser la.
tml busy ah. morn go eat breakfast. like a pig. then evening go eat buffet coz my fren veron treat me. good la, at least got pple remember my birthday. lemme see. got around ten people remember. and it is quite different from last year's .
say meikhay, jez, basu and elvin remember my birthday for few years liao. the rest? doesn't really matter, i don't even remember other people's birthday. complain so much for wot.
what do i want to say? i also dunno. keep giving tuition until i blur le. every day also need to go out. sit beside someone and do really really simple questions. aiyo.. wake up la. i mean my students. just put in a bit more effort, be more focused .. why keep thinking of the things u enjoy?
i know you don't like studying. I also don't like.
you think i last time jc or secondary school siaoz on ar..sec sch also copy homework and always get single digits for maths wan. but then i realised cannot go on la. people dont trust u if u dont do well in exams. cannot go out and play and have fun. people think u never grow up and u lazy ...
if you really want to enjoy the things u do, then need to buck up le. every day eat shit and sleep wun help u get smarter de. got to give up somethings for a while.
u think i smart ar? my brain different from yo0urs? i wish.
studying is not about getting a certificate. it is kinda like a quest.
like playing a game. some things are just so repetitive. you got to kill so many monsters .. yawnz... before you can increase your level. so same goes for studying.
some people always say they cannot remember what they studied.
you watch movie also can tell me the plot, analyse the characters so thoroughly. you tell me you cannot remember some black and white graffiti?
what do i want in life? i started reading up a bit of my medical books.
not because i kiasu.
because as a doctor i got to be responsible for people. their lives and their health. dont wan to give someone wrong medicine and kill him. so my doctoring has already started. long time ago. when i decided to take my life seriously.
others may not choose the same career. but we are in one way or another responsible to ourselves and those around us. maybe the system is flawed. maybe we are not allowed to do the things we like. but this is life. shit aint happen your way. you cant change things. not unless you can change yourself.
learn to like what you are doing. every moment of your life is yours. not your teachers' or your parents. why be sad over little things or be angry? i don't take things to heart. hardly. because we really do have a choice to be happy or not. that choice lies in how you choose to see the world.
Stirring Pain
I became hypersensitive to even the slightest sound. I became so aware of the silence that I find it droning. It is 4 am in the morning. I have a busy day ahead of me. I should be resting. The pillow seems stiff and the bed uncomfortably warm.
The air is stranggling me.
My eyes have been closed for the past hour but not my mind. Thoughts run across my mind like cars on a busy expressway. Then one of these cars collided with another. I could no longer stand the loud silence and quiet voice in my head.
So I woke up. Lying in bed with my eyes open. Thinking. Now the thoughts seem less pessimestic. I am slightly more conscious and rational.
Then it hit me so fast.I Can't breathe. Need to open my mouth to gasp for air. The world is spinning. I am frightened.
I feel so terribly lonely. There is no one who truly understands why I am afraid. I don't even understand it myself. Perhaps I do but I wish not to acknowledge it. I am a very big person. I am supposed to take on the world and not complain. The harshness and the sadness of life. My success may be greater than some people but my fears are as large and as real.
Should I be afraid of pain. Or should I create pain so that I may feel it?
What is painful? Waking up in the middle of the night, not knowing who you can talk to? Finding it impossible to be the most important person to the most important person in your life? Losing something that contains significant memories?
Felt pain for someone so badly that your heart is about to be crushed? The feeling that one can actually die from heart pain? Yet still wish for the pain not to ease if you may ease the misery of the person?
The air is stranggling me.
My eyes have been closed for the past hour but not my mind. Thoughts run across my mind like cars on a busy expressway. Then one of these cars collided with another. I could no longer stand the loud silence and quiet voice in my head.
So I woke up. Lying in bed with my eyes open. Thinking. Now the thoughts seem less pessimestic. I am slightly more conscious and rational.
Then it hit me so fast.I Can't breathe. Need to open my mouth to gasp for air. The world is spinning. I am frightened.
I feel so terribly lonely. There is no one who truly understands why I am afraid. I don't even understand it myself. Perhaps I do but I wish not to acknowledge it. I am a very big person. I am supposed to take on the world and not complain. The harshness and the sadness of life. My success may be greater than some people but my fears are as large and as real.
Should I be afraid of pain. Or should I create pain so that I may feel it?
What is painful? Waking up in the middle of the night, not knowing who you can talk to? Finding it impossible to be the most important person to the most important person in your life? Losing something that contains significant memories?
Felt pain for someone so badly that your heart is about to be crushed? The feeling that one can actually die from heart pain? Yet still wish for the pain not to ease if you may ease the misery of the person?
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
Why getting dumped feels like it does
Researchers are analysing brian images from 17 young men and women who recently were dumped by their lovers. The investigators have noticed one preliminary finding: increased activation in an area of the brain related to the region associated with passionate love. " It seems to suggest what psychological literature, peotry and people have long noticed: being dumped actually does heighten romantic love, a phenomenon I call frustration-attraction" said Dr Fisher.
One volunteer in the study suffered through a break-up with her boyfriend 3 years ago. " It had little to do with him, but more with the fact that there was something there, inside myself, a hope, a knowledge that there's someone out there for you, and that you are capable of feeling this way. I felt like that was being lost." she said.
And no wonder. In a series of studies, researchers have found that, among other processes, new love involves psychologically internalising a love, absorbing elements of the other person's opinions, hobbies, expressions and character, as well as sharing one's own. " The expansion of the self happens very rapidly. It is one of the most exhilarating experiences there is." said Dr Aron.
To love all that, all aat once, while still in love, plays havoc with the emotional, cognitive and deeper reward-driven areas of the brain.
But the heightened activity in there areas inevitably settles down. And the circuits in the brain related to passion remain intact and capable in time of flaring to life with someone new.
One volunteer in the study suffered through a break-up with her boyfriend 3 years ago. " It had little to do with him, but more with the fact that there was something there, inside myself, a hope, a knowledge that there's someone out there for you, and that you are capable of feeling this way. I felt like that was being lost." she said.
And no wonder. In a series of studies, researchers have found that, among other processes, new love involves psychologically internalising a love, absorbing elements of the other person's opinions, hobbies, expressions and character, as well as sharing one's own. " The expansion of the self happens very rapidly. It is one of the most exhilarating experiences there is." said Dr Aron.
To love all that, all aat once, while still in love, plays havoc with the emotional, cognitive and deeper reward-driven areas of the brain.
But the heightened activity in there areas inevitably settles down. And the circuits in the brain related to passion remain intact and capable in time of flaring to life with someone new.
Love is really a biological Urge
New love can look for all the world like mental illness-- cutting people off from friends and family and prompting compulsive phone calling, serenades and yelling from rooftops, which can almost be mistaken for psychosis.
Now, for the first time, neuroscientists have produced brain scan images of this fevered activity.
In an analysis of the images appearing recently in The Journal of Neurophysiology, researchers in New York and New Jersey argue that romantic love is a biological urge distinct from sexual arousal.
It is closer in its neural profile to drives such as hunger, thirst or drug craving, the researchers assert, than to emotional states such as excitement or affection. As a relationship deepens, the brain scans suggest, the neural activity assoiciated with romantic love alters slightly, and in some cases primes areas deep in the primitive brain that are involved in long-term attachment.
The research helps explain why love produces such disparate emotions, from euphoria to anger to anxiety and why it seems to become even more intense when it is withdrawn.
" When you are in the throes of romatic love, it is overwhelming and you are out of control. "
" And when rejected , some people comtemplate stalking, homicide, suicide. This drive for romantic love can be stronger than the will to live."
In the study, Dr Fisher, Dr Lucy Brown of Albert Einstein College of Medicine in the Bronx and Dr Arthur Aron, a psychologist at the State University of New York at Stony Brook, led a team that analysed about 2,500 brain images from 17 college studcents who were in the first weeks or months of new love.
They loved at a picture of their beloved while a MRI machine scanned their brains. The researchers then comapred the images with others taken while the students looked at a picture of an acquaintance.
Functional MRI technology detects increases or decreases of blood flow in the brain, which reflect changes in neural activity.
The researchers found that one particular spot in the MRI images was especially active in people who scored highly on a questionnaire measuring passionate love.
This passion-related region was on the opposite side of the brain from another area that registers physical attractiveness and appeared to be involved in longing, desire and the unexplainable tug that people feel towards specific others.
This distinction, between finding someone attractive and desiring him or her, between liking and wanting, is all happening in an area of the mammalian brain that takes care of the most basic functions, such as eating, drinking, eye movements. I don't think anyone expected this part of the brain to be so specialised", said Dr Brown.
Now, for the first time, neuroscientists have produced brain scan images of this fevered activity.
In an analysis of the images appearing recently in The Journal of Neurophysiology, researchers in New York and New Jersey argue that romantic love is a biological urge distinct from sexual arousal.
It is closer in its neural profile to drives such as hunger, thirst or drug craving, the researchers assert, than to emotional states such as excitement or affection. As a relationship deepens, the brain scans suggest, the neural activity assoiciated with romantic love alters slightly, and in some cases primes areas deep in the primitive brain that are involved in long-term attachment.
The research helps explain why love produces such disparate emotions, from euphoria to anger to anxiety and why it seems to become even more intense when it is withdrawn.
" When you are in the throes of romatic love, it is overwhelming and you are out of control. "
" And when rejected , some people comtemplate stalking, homicide, suicide. This drive for romantic love can be stronger than the will to live."
In the study, Dr Fisher, Dr Lucy Brown of Albert Einstein College of Medicine in the Bronx and Dr Arthur Aron, a psychologist at the State University of New York at Stony Brook, led a team that analysed about 2,500 brain images from 17 college studcents who were in the first weeks or months of new love.
They loved at a picture of their beloved while a MRI machine scanned their brains. The researchers then comapred the images with others taken while the students looked at a picture of an acquaintance.
Functional MRI technology detects increases or decreases of blood flow in the brain, which reflect changes in neural activity.
The researchers found that one particular spot in the MRI images was especially active in people who scored highly on a questionnaire measuring passionate love.
This passion-related region was on the opposite side of the brain from another area that registers physical attractiveness and appeared to be involved in longing, desire and the unexplainable tug that people feel towards specific others.
This distinction, between finding someone attractive and desiring him or her, between liking and wanting, is all happening in an area of the mammalian brain that takes care of the most basic functions, such as eating, drinking, eye movements. I don't think anyone expected this part of the brain to be so specialised", said Dr Brown.
Monday, June 13, 2005
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