I am really random.

I hate public hotspots. Forget to save whatever you are typing and the next time you click post, the computer fucking redirects you to log in again. What the fuck.
Anyway I am trying to recreate word for word a blog of a few thousand words because my fucking computer pulled this stunt on me.
I was just having a lazy afternoon where I do not feel like doing anything. I whisked a few hours away doing precisely that. Even when I feel like doing something, the hours spent on deliberation means I usually end up doing nothing. So I got to the point this time round. In the morning I wanted to go to the clinics but every one of them had a student in it already. The doctors only allowed one per person. One even told us that since its her first day, she prefers not to have anyone near her. Well suck thumb. It is their right. So not really feeling dejected, I trooped home for a rendezvous with my bed. I remained status quo till 2pm in the afternoon when my phone started ringing. It was the unwanted call. From the tuition agency asking for payment. LEt them wait. Ignore the calls. There is a perverse satisfaction in the whole evasion exercise. Eventually I will pay up. It is just a matter of time. I have plenty. Not money though. Something that is unlikely to change until next year when my students return to me.
It is not bad though, to be taking a break and engaging in some serious studying. Or some studying. I like getting phone calls from unknown numbers. Got a few from some insurance agencies and financial counsultancies. Then you have people from Serangoon Gardens Country Club calling to ask you to take up membership. Maybe if they pay me. So I told them to call me again in 2 weeks time. This has been going on for a few months. They are patient. Then I got another one. This time from the Singapore FLyers. Somehow I managed to get into their FIrst Anniversary celebrations list. I have no idea what that means. Just gave them my details. Last friday was the best. GOt a call from ESPN. Informed me I am in with a chance of winning a bonus prize for a trip to Japan. To watch Man U play in the semi finals of the World Club Championship. If Chelsea had beaten them in May, I would have been drooling till now. So if I do get it and since it is right smack in the middle of my study period, I can either sell it or enjoy a plane trip and visit some kawaiii girls before making my way back. Lets not count the chicks before they are hatched.
Talking about last friday, i attended a wedding of a cousin of this 4th Aunt that I supposedly have. The guy was a block of lumbering giant. I think his wife cannot speak English. No shame though about that. It is just education and the right opportunities. HOwever some of my relatives, alot of my aunties, in fact all of them are born with some hereditary ancephaly or had methane rich craniums. I think most of them do not know my name. Somehow they think they have a really intelligent nephew who is called YANhong. You know the thing about the old chinese folks, they are really bad at HanYuPingYing. In part they are heavily influenced by their mother tongue: Hokkien and the other reason is they couldn't complete their primary school education. Most of them are not working. Find a partially blind or tasteless businessman and get married and be a TaiTai. The only one who managed to find a job became a police. That is what happens if you do not study hard. Anyway they have farts for brains. I rather liked the sound of it. FARTS FOR BRAINS. They are now pursuing their hobby of imitating a barrel quite successfully. EMpty barrels. I guess the guys are not so much affected because they seemed to have some semblance of normality.
The wedding was held at FUrama Riverfront Hotel. Right beside 3 night clubs and I would not be surprised if they gifted the groom discount vouchers there for his bachelor's night. The wedding went quite well except my grandmother lost her ear rings. Someone said it was a heirloom, so I guess effectively she lost my earrings. The kind old lady is already 90 years old. Bless her and when I get my first pay check for an honest day's work, I will buy her another one. As long as she makes it a heirloom and passes it to the eldest son. The food was okay. Nothing spectacular. in Fact I have not been to a really memorable wedding. I guess we have to wait till I get married before things get really impressive. The gifts were quite poorly made. The colors were awful and the handphone holders still retained some of the plastic edges.
SPeaking of weddings, I had some inspirations about proposals. The kind that negotiates a contract with the girl of your dreams to become the woman of your life, the wife of the goon in your house and the mother of the kids if you are fertile. SO indeed such proposals tend to require the guy to be creative and romantic. The ingredients are usually the same:candles,romantic music, flowers, soft toys like teddy bears or hEllo Kittys, flowers, lots and lots of flowers: roses, tulips, lilies.. never crysanthemums even if they are are really cheap, chocolates, red wine, and a diamond ring. Of course the probablity of success is proportionately linked to the size of the diamond or the male phalanx.
Picture this: a hotel room, plenty of flowers and soft toys on the bed, the flowers arranged to form the words I love you or a heart shape. Gentle music playing in the background. Really romantic and soft ambience, dim orange light. That is the recipe of success. Change the settings, posh restaurant, candle light dinner, a bouquet of roses and a violinist playing a song for you two and you present her the diamond ring. I am glad I know a few musicians so getting a violinist to play for me should be no problem. I can even get it outdoors by the beach. If there is no violinist, perhaps I can go for a cello player! I know one as well. Another scenario: a trip on the boat along Singapore RIver. A nice dinner and floating candles forming a heart shape on the river. I have plenty more ideas up my sleeve but you have to pay for those. Too bad I will only do it once, what a waste of a whole host of splendid ideas. One note on the girl of your dreams, after marriage and giving birth, she will no doubtedly still remain the girl! But you might be having nightmares already.
I was just giving tips to my friend on how to celebrate his anniversary. LAst year I suggested a mini bbq for two by the beach. It worked like a beauty. Quite a simple idea, grab those disposable bbq trays and some seafood. You cannot really go wrong with bbq food. This year I suggested going to this teddy bear factory and make a teddy bear. The product of your love. So now you have added another layer to your relationship, you have created something together. Of course I would encourage him to translate that metaphor into physical actions. The time is ripe, the girl is right and the parents has left. Tian shi di li ren he.