Kiss goodbye

That is the song I am listening to right now. This holiday has started slowly before gaining much momentum and finally I can see the end. What marks this hols different from others would be the amount of memories I gathered, maybe it is because they are still fresh so they loom larger than the rest of my history. Whatever it is, I am certainly glad for all that has happened. I had just returned from ODAC camp and frankly I went around trying to promote judo, and telling some of them that any one can go trekking and night cycling, what is the point of joining a club just for that. Certainly I will organise lots of kayaking and cycling trips maybe for my classmates or judo members. Not trekking though. I do not know why. I like to take my time when surrounded by nature. I like to feel for the life teeming in a tree, take in the vibration of the waves and feel the drizzling of the wind. I had gone to my first trip of my life. A trip with friends to sightsee and visit beautiful places. Taiwan being a chinese country feels exactly like a second home. I spent more time playing my Fifa 06 until 4 months later, i got sick of it. Maybe I am getting sick of soccer. Sounds contrary to what I have been posting. But I realised and rediscovered this truth from watching the beautiful game. The knowledge that the better team or the best man may not necessary win. Lady luck is a patron of most sports and for the bigger picture, life. If she chooses to intervene, who ever she picks will be the winner. BUt I am not saying that she likes any one. She likes those who work hard, those who are determined and dead on reaching their goals, those who help themselves. Other times, some get lucky. I am sure that one can draw inspiration from anything and everything.
Anyway, I feel that while Zidane's exit may have been marred by the sending off, his response was most human and human is never perfect, though his skills are.
Back to my holidays, I had never had a holiday where I touch a book in secondary or primary school. I did change that trend recently but now I am glad to be in touch with my past. No a single page, I do not even know what books to buy next year . I missed out on my bursary or scholarship because I had not checked my NUS email. But luckily the administrators were kind enough to allow me another chance. Even though I had missed the deadline by a month. 3600 in loans and 1800 in bursary. Shall discuss that with parents tomorrow.
Today was the second time I wiped the floor and swept the floor, not in that order though. Second time since moving to sengkang. I had done that often when I was young. I remembered perfectly 9the first time I had done that. It is now heartbreaking to think about that first time. I have this chair at home. Just right before door. Together with my blue sofa. and when I slept on either I would dream of someone who is no longer in my life but remains forever in my heart. It would be really true that we cherish someone most when we lose them. I have always told my friends that sadness is a good thing, it reminds us of our mortality, it reminds us that we can love and that our heart is an organ that has the ability to sense , the ability to feel pain.
I am a selfish person, I believe that everything I have belongs to me and I do not like to be reminded that that is not true.
I had my first few meetings as Chairman of NUS Judo. I do not like to flaunt ranks, I do not address myself as the chairman in my emails nor during the meeting. I like everyone to feel that they are equal, that they are capable of making a contribution. I believe that in a group, that is my greatest asset. I know I can have plenty to contribute. I can take on a show by myself, but wouldnt that be so lonely, to sing and act on your own... So I rarely impose myself. BUt I would like to be remembered as a good captain, a captain of the Judo club. A good Judoka. Not only a delicated one, but one who is as skilled as he is powerful. I shall have to work hard to reach a new level. There is still the decorations and banner painting to be completed. Before the new term starts, a term filled with possibilities. OF course one of the times I had faced such an incredible possibility, I remember blowing it up to the largest proportion, I had totally screwed up my life. Now with much maturity and experience, lets hope for a better future.
Now what about maturity? I like to hide myself most of the time. Hide my thoughts and my feelings. But every action and every word I say actually contains all my thoughts and feelings, but strangely and cleverly concealed within. When I am straight forward, with my feelings, I can make people think that I am not , while I am holding back, people may be convinced that they can read me like an open book. Of course, I can be brutally frank in my assessment of others and equal in my insults.
One more camp next week, one camp this. Certainly brought back memories of myself as an OGL. and most importantly, it reminded me of the importance of friendship and that bickering, teasing and working together are part of that important yet intangible description. My jc classmates and friends.
I had my birthday in the holidays. Just like every birthday, I make a note of who remembers. It is a perculiarity of mine. It helps that my memory is good when I want it to be. Youming, jianhao, chewlip, jez, carol, alvin, todd, yilin, irwin, jerry, amy, cailin, eugene , elvin, shirlyn, peigin, weiqin. SMs wishes . And of course I received the nicest birthday present, does not matter it is one of the only 2 birthday presents I got. When You get to my age, you really do not wish to be reminded of the cake can barely take the weight of the candles. youming, shirlyn, jianhao, jerry and cailin are in Judo. Peigin and eugene are in AJ, last time I was their physics tchr. Elvin, ay are my jc friends, todd and chewlip are from medicine. jez and irwin are my pri sch pals, carol is my yunnan friend. Of all I am especially glad to hear from eug and pei and most glad to hear from amy. AMY can you hear me from Australia or Indonesia where ever You are? I miss you alot and do visit me and everyone else soon with your darling ops I can not remember his name. Is it bryan? or Jack?
Medicamp next week. Time for more recruitment, more friends, more mahjong as darryl is bringing. More of everything and after every new person I know, I get more energetic, more lively. I like talking to people. I like people listening to me, attentively because they look up to me or they want to find out more about me. Maybe I have been quite listless for the past year because I had not made new friends, or was it really all the late nights and soccer?
Anyway I have been enjoying alot of shows , like superman and recycle. Well when the company is good, everything else feels good. and I am good company! I did also watch alot of rubbish shows with todd and co, like slither, scary movie 4 and silent hill. BUt the company is also too true for me to care about the quality of the films.
I just received four new songs. Listening and enjoying.
good night world. good night my blog. Good night my reader.