Saturday, May 16, 2009
Time to sleep
I have just finished watching the show. 40 episodes of tears and laughter. Of warmth and family ties. And much more. A recurring theme is that of love and promise. There is also betrayal and rivalry. It is simply too exciting. I am glad that everyone has a happy ending in that show.
If you truly love someone, you would want the person to be happy. Regardless of whether the person ends up with you or not. So I will give my blessings and do my best to make who ever I love happy. Without asking for anything in return.
If you truly love someone, you would want the person to be happy. Regardless of whether the person ends up with you or not. So I will give my blessings and do my best to make who ever I love happy. Without asking for anything in return.
I need more sleep
The first day without her love. Sun.
The night always brings with her an unfathomable sadness. Is it the darkness that falls on the world outside my house like a blanket that is sucking away the happiness or is it during the night that I need someone more than ever?
Colin is giving me more pearls of wisdom. There are just so many truths in the world. Even Truths that contradict one another. How do I ever know the truth in her head? I need time for more understanding, maybe.
No point clinging on to the hope of finding the truth. If this goes on, I will soon become neurotic. Why cant the night bring with it daffodils and sunflowers. Birds and bees all dancing through the air and keeping a lonely person like me company?
For four years, I do not need music in my life because I have the tunes of love. Now suddenly all the songs seem to give me meaning. With an eerie accuracy. Anyway besides songs, I need more sleep as well.
What a night. The woman of your dreams appeared. Your pulse raced. Heavy breathing ensued. You do remember it, right? Oh, wait, you were asleep. And that's not all you missed. Under cover of night, sleep floods your veins with age-defying human growth hormone. Sleep raises an army of T cells and sends them into battle against colds and infection. Sleep resets the appetite controls that tell you to not hit the turn signal when you pass a McDonald's. And, of course, sleep helps you above the neck as well as below the belt.
"It stabilizes your waking brain, makes you more alert, and allows you to process information faster," says David Dinges, Ph.D., who studies shut-eye at the University of Pennsylvania. "It helps you remember things and consolidate those memories." You won't get that from a Red Bull. So then why are we engaged in a society-wide experiment in sleep deprivation? Average nightly sleep time during the workweek in the United States is down nearly 20 minutes in the last decade, to six hours and 40 minutes. And men ages 30 to 44 are the worst offenders: Thirty percent of them say they log less than six hours of sleep at night, according to a survey from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
The price you pay for this sleep deficit is more than just lost productivity—your health can suffer too. So wake up! It's time to shed some light on this dark territory.
Successful, driven guys should be good to go on five hours a night: MYTH
True, Napoleon slept four to five hours a night, and Thomas Edison got by on four. But world domination and the lightbulb might have been mere warm-ups had these guys slept more. Sleep scientists estimate that only 10 percent of adults are hardwired to need appreciably less (or more) sleep than the recommended seven to eight hours. And by cheating on sleep, you're limping through life with the cranial equivalent of a torn calf muscle. Scarier still, people who are sleep-deprived often don't even know they've turned into zombies. After dividing 48 volunteers into four sleep regimens—eight, six, four and zero hours a night (a.k.a. torture)—University of Pennsylvania researchers found that the six-hours-a-night group fared as poorly on measures of alertness and memory after two weeks as the no-sleep crew did after 24 hours. But participants in the six-hour group didn't feel very sleepy even when they were performing at their worst. Accumulating a sleep deficit also leads to "microsleeps" while you're awake. "Your brain becomes unstable and will go 'off-line' for half a second," Dinges says. The more sleep-deprived you are, the more frequent and longer the lapses.
Snooze strategy: If you didn't sleep seven to eight hours every night this past week, go to bed this weekend at your regular weekday time, but don't set your alarm clock. Did you rise on Saturday and Sunday at the same time you would have on, say, a Tuesday? Then you may be one of those few people who can sleep less yet remain healthy. The rest of us mere mortals can begin to repay our sleep debt by dozing 10 hours a night on weekends and then sticking to seven to eight hours during the week. Your brain will use this strategy whenever you accumulate a sleep debt, says Ruth Benca, M.D., Ph.D., medical director of the Wisconsin Sleep Center. Otherwise, you want to stay consistent with your sleeping.
The post-lunch bonk can't be avoided: MYTH
Many Europeans scarf down a carb-loaded lunch and then shut down from 1 to 4 in the afternoon. But with unemployment soaring, let's assume a three-hour nap won't play well at the office. If you find yourself entering what amounts to a food coma after lunch, you're probably eating too many carbohydrates in the morning. And what you're not getting enough of is making it worse. "A postlunch crash is a telltale sign of poor nighttime sleep, as is dozing in meetings, theater performances, or similar environments," says Dr. Benca. Not sure if you're experiencing a modest dip or a true crash? Take a minute or two to fill out the Epworth Sleepiness Scale. This online questionnaire is the same one sleep docs use on their new patients.
Snooze strategy: Along with improving your nightly sleep pattern, eat three small meals spaced two hours apart in the morning. Try a protein shake at 7 a.m., two eggs and a small cup of oatmeal at 9, and an apple and a handful of almonds at 11. You'll consume fewer carbohydrates, and you won't be as likely to overeat at lunchtime. In fact, a salad with grilled chicken and avocado on top should be enough to keep your mind focused and your head off the desk all afternoon, says Keith Berkowitz, M. D., medical director of the Center for Balanced Health in New York City.
Waking up at 4 a. m. every day just means I'm an early riser: MYTH
More likely, you—along with 60 million other Americans—have insomnia, an inability to fall or stay asleep. "Insomniacs wake at the slightest disturbance and feel unrefreshed in the morning," says Dr. Benca. Insufficient sleep exposes the sufferer to a litany of performance and health problems. In a study published in the Journal of Psychosomatic Research, researchers found insomniacs were more than twice as likely as normal sleepers to call in sick for long periods.
Snooze strategy: Let's assume that you've already cut back on caffeine. What you want to do is make your sleep more efficient, says W. Christopher Winter, M.D., medical director of the sleep medicine center at Martha Jefferson Hospital in Charlottesville, Va. Dr. Winter likens poor sleep to a bookcase missing a few volumes, representing gaps in your sleep. By going to bed an hour or so later, those gaps won't be as long as or frequent. Soon enough, you should be waking up after the roosters, not before them.
A tiring workout before bed will help me sleep more soundly: MYTH
Regular exercise is one of the best sleep-promoting remedies, but working out late at night risks leaving you wide-eyed in bed. "It's easiest to fall asleep when your core body temperature goes relatively quickly from very warm to very cold," says Dr. Chediak. "After exercise, that cooling process takes four to six hours." It's better to take a hot bath or sauna session close to bedtime. "Anything that raises core body temperature will help get you started on sleep," says Dr. Chediak. He says the cooldown period into the sleep zone following a bath takes just two hours—half that of an exercise session.
Snooze strategy: Work out—but do it first thing in the morning for all-day energy and a quick drift into deep, restful sleep. Studies show that exercise improves sleep as effectively as a class of sleeping pills that includes Restoril and Halcion.
Alcohol can help me sleep at night: MYTH
Only if you equate a good night's sleep with passing out drunk on your girlfriend's sofa. Alcohol messes with the normal sleep cycle, especially the back end of the cycle. "Four hours into sleep, alcohol wears off and leaves you in an excitable state," says Dr. Chediak. You'll sleep lighter, wake more easily, and be hung over when you do wake. After three nights of intoxicated slumber, even the initial knockout punch begins to wane. Dr. Chediak warns of another drawback to using a six-pack as a sleep aid. "Being a muscle relaxant as well as sedative, alcohol can even create sleep apnea symptoms in snorers who don't otherwise have the condition," he says. Unfortunately, liquor is a go-to therapy for many sheep counters, used as often as over-the-counter sleeping pills and more often than prescription sleep meds.
Snooze strategy: Be consistent with your overall schedule and you won't need booze. "Your internal clock is a structure in your brain called the suprachiasmatic nucleus," says Dr. Winter. "To set this clock, eat your breakfast, lunch, and dinner at exactly the same time every day for a week."
The night always brings with her an unfathomable sadness. Is it the darkness that falls on the world outside my house like a blanket that is sucking away the happiness or is it during the night that I need someone more than ever?
Colin is giving me more pearls of wisdom. There are just so many truths in the world. Even Truths that contradict one another. How do I ever know the truth in her head? I need time for more understanding, maybe.
No point clinging on to the hope of finding the truth. If this goes on, I will soon become neurotic. Why cant the night bring with it daffodils and sunflowers. Birds and bees all dancing through the air and keeping a lonely person like me company?
For four years, I do not need music in my life because I have the tunes of love. Now suddenly all the songs seem to give me meaning. With an eerie accuracy. Anyway besides songs, I need more sleep as well.
What a night. The woman of your dreams appeared. Your pulse raced. Heavy breathing ensued. You do remember it, right? Oh, wait, you were asleep. And that's not all you missed. Under cover of night, sleep floods your veins with age-defying human growth hormone. Sleep raises an army of T cells and sends them into battle against colds and infection. Sleep resets the appetite controls that tell you to not hit the turn signal when you pass a McDonald's. And, of course, sleep helps you above the neck as well as below the belt.
"It stabilizes your waking brain, makes you more alert, and allows you to process information faster," says David Dinges, Ph.D., who studies shut-eye at the University of Pennsylvania. "It helps you remember things and consolidate those memories." You won't get that from a Red Bull. So then why are we engaged in a society-wide experiment in sleep deprivation? Average nightly sleep time during the workweek in the United States is down nearly 20 minutes in the last decade, to six hours and 40 minutes. And men ages 30 to 44 are the worst offenders: Thirty percent of them say they log less than six hours of sleep at night, according to a survey from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
The price you pay for this sleep deficit is more than just lost productivity—your health can suffer too. So wake up! It's time to shed some light on this dark territory.
Successful, driven guys should be good to go on five hours a night: MYTH
True, Napoleon slept four to five hours a night, and Thomas Edison got by on four. But world domination and the lightbulb might have been mere warm-ups had these guys slept more. Sleep scientists estimate that only 10 percent of adults are hardwired to need appreciably less (or more) sleep than the recommended seven to eight hours. And by cheating on sleep, you're limping through life with the cranial equivalent of a torn calf muscle. Scarier still, people who are sleep-deprived often don't even know they've turned into zombies. After dividing 48 volunteers into four sleep regimens—eight, six, four and zero hours a night (a.k.a. torture)—University of Pennsylvania researchers found that the six-hours-a-night group fared as poorly on measures of alertness and memory after two weeks as the no-sleep crew did after 24 hours. But participants in the six-hour group didn't feel very sleepy even when they were performing at their worst. Accumulating a sleep deficit also leads to "microsleeps" while you're awake. "Your brain becomes unstable and will go 'off-line' for half a second," Dinges says. The more sleep-deprived you are, the more frequent and longer the lapses.
Snooze strategy: If you didn't sleep seven to eight hours every night this past week, go to bed this weekend at your regular weekday time, but don't set your alarm clock. Did you rise on Saturday and Sunday at the same time you would have on, say, a Tuesday? Then you may be one of those few people who can sleep less yet remain healthy. The rest of us mere mortals can begin to repay our sleep debt by dozing 10 hours a night on weekends and then sticking to seven to eight hours during the week. Your brain will use this strategy whenever you accumulate a sleep debt, says Ruth Benca, M.D., Ph.D., medical director of the Wisconsin Sleep Center. Otherwise, you want to stay consistent with your sleeping.
The post-lunch bonk can't be avoided: MYTH
Many Europeans scarf down a carb-loaded lunch and then shut down from 1 to 4 in the afternoon. But with unemployment soaring, let's assume a three-hour nap won't play well at the office. If you find yourself entering what amounts to a food coma after lunch, you're probably eating too many carbohydrates in the morning. And what you're not getting enough of is making it worse. "A postlunch crash is a telltale sign of poor nighttime sleep, as is dozing in meetings, theater performances, or similar environments," says Dr. Benca. Not sure if you're experiencing a modest dip or a true crash? Take a minute or two to fill out the Epworth Sleepiness Scale. This online questionnaire is the same one sleep docs use on their new patients.
Snooze strategy: Along with improving your nightly sleep pattern, eat three small meals spaced two hours apart in the morning. Try a protein shake at 7 a.m., two eggs and a small cup of oatmeal at 9, and an apple and a handful of almonds at 11. You'll consume fewer carbohydrates, and you won't be as likely to overeat at lunchtime. In fact, a salad with grilled chicken and avocado on top should be enough to keep your mind focused and your head off the desk all afternoon, says Keith Berkowitz, M. D., medical director of the Center for Balanced Health in New York City.
Waking up at 4 a. m. every day just means I'm an early riser: MYTH
More likely, you—along with 60 million other Americans—have insomnia, an inability to fall or stay asleep. "Insomniacs wake at the slightest disturbance and feel unrefreshed in the morning," says Dr. Benca. Insufficient sleep exposes the sufferer to a litany of performance and health problems. In a study published in the Journal of Psychosomatic Research, researchers found insomniacs were more than twice as likely as normal sleepers to call in sick for long periods.
Snooze strategy: Let's assume that you've already cut back on caffeine. What you want to do is make your sleep more efficient, says W. Christopher Winter, M.D., medical director of the sleep medicine center at Martha Jefferson Hospital in Charlottesville, Va. Dr. Winter likens poor sleep to a bookcase missing a few volumes, representing gaps in your sleep. By going to bed an hour or so later, those gaps won't be as long as or frequent. Soon enough, you should be waking up after the roosters, not before them.
A tiring workout before bed will help me sleep more soundly: MYTH
Regular exercise is one of the best sleep-promoting remedies, but working out late at night risks leaving you wide-eyed in bed. "It's easiest to fall asleep when your core body temperature goes relatively quickly from very warm to very cold," says Dr. Chediak. "After exercise, that cooling process takes four to six hours." It's better to take a hot bath or sauna session close to bedtime. "Anything that raises core body temperature will help get you started on sleep," says Dr. Chediak. He says the cooldown period into the sleep zone following a bath takes just two hours—half that of an exercise session.
Snooze strategy: Work out—but do it first thing in the morning for all-day energy and a quick drift into deep, restful sleep. Studies show that exercise improves sleep as effectively as a class of sleeping pills that includes Restoril and Halcion.
Alcohol can help me sleep at night: MYTH
Only if you equate a good night's sleep with passing out drunk on your girlfriend's sofa. Alcohol messes with the normal sleep cycle, especially the back end of the cycle. "Four hours into sleep, alcohol wears off and leaves you in an excitable state," says Dr. Chediak. You'll sleep lighter, wake more easily, and be hung over when you do wake. After three nights of intoxicated slumber, even the initial knockout punch begins to wane. Dr. Chediak warns of another drawback to using a six-pack as a sleep aid. "Being a muscle relaxant as well as sedative, alcohol can even create sleep apnea symptoms in snorers who don't otherwise have the condition," he says. Unfortunately, liquor is a go-to therapy for many sheep counters, used as often as over-the-counter sleeping pills and more often than prescription sleep meds.
Snooze strategy: Be consistent with your overall schedule and you won't need booze. "Your internal clock is a structure in your brain called the suprachiasmatic nucleus," says Dr. Winter. "To set this clock, eat your breakfast, lunch, and dinner at exactly the same time every day for a week."
Friday, May 15, 2009
Friends are meant to be together for life.
I have a new friend. I suddenly felt very relieved and happy because I now have friend whom I can trust and love.
Yes love can come in many forms. While yesterday xt said that expectations are hard to adjust because they are so innate, I do agree. Yet they are merely hard to adjust, not impossible. To borrow Nike or issit Adidas? Nothing is Impossible. Perhaps it is more beautiful to love without expecting anything in return. I know I can do it because I have that love. Just like a mother shielding her child in a plane crash or bus accident. Willing to give her whole life just to protect someone she loves.
There was a drastic change of fortune. Just yesterday night, I thought I had lost something important. I remembered how I lost my wallet in KL. I never found it back. But if I had, the feeling of recovery would be amazing. That was how I felt this afternoon at 12.15pm. Even though the wallet is missing some cash probably picked clean by whoever picked it up, the fact is I recovered my most precious wallet. The cash can be put back by my hard work. Crying over the lost money is stupid, why not be thankful that I still have my wallet?
I had many pearls of wisdom this morning. The most precious gifts always turn up in the most unexpected places. Life is just like a river. Just flow along and you are on course for what ever life has in store for you. Grab onto a stone or branch will just be futile and you might even get caught in an eddy.
In friends we trust. I have many whom I know are my true friends. For example sayanee, she will incredibly message me when I am feeling most down. Words of concern and encouragement are worth more than any salary that I can ever pick up. I am ashamed to say that I have not been reciprocating that friendship, when was the last time I was concerned about my JC friends or primary school friends? I am just a selfish starfish.
I know that true friends trust each other, are there for each other and understand each other. Maybe the song "you say it best, when you say nothing at all." applies to true friends. I think I finally realised the meaning of being good friends. I do have many good friends, it is just that I have forgotten about them.
On that topic, I still remember the time where saya went to Mdm Ng to ask her a higher grade for my IPW. She was the only one who got an A, mine was a B. I was really very touched. Those were the good old times, choreographing our stupid hamster dance and making CK impersonate Sim Wong Who? I am absolutely tickled.
Have I ever worried about saya, barry, cl, irwin, anna not being true friends? Lying to me or not feeling the same way? Nope. Just let it be and be together when we have the time. There are important things in life like my pathology supp papers. Like My FREAKING IPPT on the 30th of May. I NEED A RUNNING MATE!!!!! MAybe even a pullup buddy. Let me appreciate the finer things in my life. Including my friend.
PS: yesterday some songs I heard were quite emotional. While they may be made to look like the truth, it really depends on your state of mind. :d
Lets just hope the songs are outdated. :D
太傻
痴痴地想了多少夜
我还是不了解
是什么让我们今天会分别
反正梦都是太匆匆
反正爱只能那么浓
心与感情让它粉碎
飘散在风中
只是为何当初你是不听所有纷纷扰扰流言之中漫天风雨
你会选择了我
只是为何如今我们不顾一切追求真爱坚持底又苦尽甘来
你会放弃了我
再说你也不会懂
心再痛你能做什么
不再将自己深锁错了又错
守住你的承诺太傻
只怪自己被爱迷惑
说过的话已不重要
可是我从不曾忘掉
守住你的承诺太傻
只怪自己被爱迷惑
醉过的心那里去找
对着满满空虚回忆怎么逃
如果你还爱我
我带着一颗疲惫的心走了
我知道自己在你心里已不重要
虽然我们曾经相聚过
也许对于你来说已经没有什么值得回忆
我带着一颗沉重的心走了
我知道自己没有勇气道别离
虽然我们曾经拥有过
但是对于你来说已经没有什么值得回忆
难道早以注定不能真正拥有你
难道我真心付出一切只为了承受孤单和寂寞
我知道你不敢对我坦白
是不要看到我的伤怀
虽然你没有说要离开我
我已经感到你不再属于我
如果你还爱我
你不会对我如此的冷漠
又怎会让我在漫漫长夜独自徘徊
如果你还爱我
你不会对我如此的冷漠
我只能含着眼泪默默的离开
Yes love can come in many forms. While yesterday xt said that expectations are hard to adjust because they are so innate, I do agree. Yet they are merely hard to adjust, not impossible. To borrow Nike or issit Adidas? Nothing is Impossible. Perhaps it is more beautiful to love without expecting anything in return. I know I can do it because I have that love. Just like a mother shielding her child in a plane crash or bus accident. Willing to give her whole life just to protect someone she loves.
There was a drastic change of fortune. Just yesterday night, I thought I had lost something important. I remembered how I lost my wallet in KL. I never found it back. But if I had, the feeling of recovery would be amazing. That was how I felt this afternoon at 12.15pm. Even though the wallet is missing some cash probably picked clean by whoever picked it up, the fact is I recovered my most precious wallet. The cash can be put back by my hard work. Crying over the lost money is stupid, why not be thankful that I still have my wallet?
I had many pearls of wisdom this morning. The most precious gifts always turn up in the most unexpected places. Life is just like a river. Just flow along and you are on course for what ever life has in store for you. Grab onto a stone or branch will just be futile and you might even get caught in an eddy.
In friends we trust. I have many whom I know are my true friends. For example sayanee, she will incredibly message me when I am feeling most down. Words of concern and encouragement are worth more than any salary that I can ever pick up. I am ashamed to say that I have not been reciprocating that friendship, when was the last time I was concerned about my JC friends or primary school friends? I am just a selfish starfish.
I know that true friends trust each other, are there for each other and understand each other. Maybe the song "you say it best, when you say nothing at all." applies to true friends. I think I finally realised the meaning of being good friends. I do have many good friends, it is just that I have forgotten about them.
On that topic, I still remember the time where saya went to Mdm Ng to ask her a higher grade for my IPW. She was the only one who got an A, mine was a B. I was really very touched. Those were the good old times, choreographing our stupid hamster dance and making CK impersonate Sim Wong Who? I am absolutely tickled.
Have I ever worried about saya, barry, cl, irwin, anna not being true friends? Lying to me or not feeling the same way? Nope. Just let it be and be together when we have the time. There are important things in life like my pathology supp papers. Like My FREAKING IPPT on the 30th of May. I NEED A RUNNING MATE!!!!! MAybe even a pullup buddy. Let me appreciate the finer things in my life. Including my friend.
PS: yesterday some songs I heard were quite emotional. While they may be made to look like the truth, it really depends on your state of mind. :d
Lets just hope the songs are outdated. :D
太傻
痴痴地想了多少夜
我还是不了解
是什么让我们今天会分别
反正梦都是太匆匆
反正爱只能那么浓
心与感情让它粉碎
飘散在风中
只是为何当初你是不听所有纷纷扰扰流言之中漫天风雨
你会选择了我
只是为何如今我们不顾一切追求真爱坚持底又苦尽甘来
你会放弃了我
再说你也不会懂
心再痛你能做什么
不再将自己深锁错了又错
守住你的承诺太傻
只怪自己被爱迷惑
说过的话已不重要
可是我从不曾忘掉
守住你的承诺太傻
只怪自己被爱迷惑
醉过的心那里去找
对着满满空虚回忆怎么逃
如果你还爱我
我带着一颗疲惫的心走了
我知道自己在你心里已不重要
虽然我们曾经相聚过
也许对于你来说已经没有什么值得回忆
我带着一颗沉重的心走了
我知道自己没有勇气道别离
虽然我们曾经拥有过
但是对于你来说已经没有什么值得回忆
难道早以注定不能真正拥有你
难道我真心付出一切只为了承受孤单和寂寞
我知道你不敢对我坦白
是不要看到我的伤怀
虽然你没有说要离开我
我已经感到你不再属于我
如果你还爱我
你不会对我如此的冷漠
又怎会让我在漫漫长夜独自徘徊
如果你还爱我
你不会对我如此的冷漠
我只能含着眼泪默默的离开
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Or did I not lose it?
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves."-- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
LISTEN FOR LOVE
There are times when we are timid and shy about expressing the love we feel. For fear of embarrassing the other person, or ourselves, we hesitate to say the actual words "I love you." So we try to communicate the idea in other words.
We say 'take care' or 'don't drive too fast' or 'be good.' But really, these are just other ways of saying 'I love you,' 'you are important to me,' 'I care what happens to you,' 'I don't want you to get hurt.'
We are sometimes very strange people. The only thing we want to say, and the one thing that we should say, is the one thing we don't say. And yet, because the feeling is so real, and the need to say it is so strong, we are driven to use other words and signs to say what we really mean. And many times the meaning never gets communicated at all and the other person is left feeling unloved and unwanted.
Therefore, we have to LISTEN FOR LOVE in the words that people are saying to us. Sometimes the explicit words are necessary, but more often, the manner of saying things is even more important. A joyous insult carries more affection and love within the sentiments which are expressed insincerely.
An impulsive hug says I LOVE YOU even though the words might be saying very different.
Any expression of a person's concern for another says I love you. Sometimes the expression is clumsy, sometimes even cruel. Sometimes we must look and listen very intently for the love that contains. But it is often there, beneath the surface.
A mother may nag her son constantly about his grades or cleaning his room. The son may hear only the nagging, but if he listens carefully, he will hear the love underneath the nagging. His mother wants him to do well, to be successful. Her concern and love for her son unfortunately emerge in her nagging. But it is love all the same.
A daughter comes home way past her curfew, and her father confronts her with angry words. The daughter may hear only the anger, but if she listen carefully, she will hear the love under the anger. "I was worried about you," the father is saying. 'Because I care about you and I love you. You are important to me.'
We say I love you in many ways - with birthday gifts, and little notes, with smiles and sometimes with tears. Sometimes we show our love by just keeping quiet and not saying a word, at other times by speaking out, even brusquely. We show our love sometimes by impulsiveness. Many times we have to show our love by forgiving someone who has not listened to the love we have tried to express.
The problem in listening for love is that we don't always understand the language of love which the other person is using. A girl may use tears or emotions to say what she wants to say, and her boyfriend may not understand her because he expects her to be talking his language. Thus, we have to force ourselves to really listen for love.
The problem with our world is that people rarely listen to each other. They hear the words, but they don't listen to the actions that accompany the words or the expression on the face. Or people listen only for rejection or misunderstanding. They do not see the love that is there just beneath the surface, even if the words are angry. We have to listen for love in those around us.
If we listen intently we will discover that we are a lot more loved than we realize. Listen for love and we will find that the world is a very loving place, after all.
LOVE is a happy thing.It makes us laugh.It makes us sing.It makes us sad.It makes us cry.It makes us seek the reason why.It makes us take.It makes us give.Above all else it makes us LIVE.
LISTEN FOR LOVE
There are times when we are timid and shy about expressing the love we feel. For fear of embarrassing the other person, or ourselves, we hesitate to say the actual words "I love you." So we try to communicate the idea in other words.
We say 'take care' or 'don't drive too fast' or 'be good.' But really, these are just other ways of saying 'I love you,' 'you are important to me,' 'I care what happens to you,' 'I don't want you to get hurt.'
We are sometimes very strange people. The only thing we want to say, and the one thing that we should say, is the one thing we don't say. And yet, because the feeling is so real, and the need to say it is so strong, we are driven to use other words and signs to say what we really mean. And many times the meaning never gets communicated at all and the other person is left feeling unloved and unwanted.
Therefore, we have to LISTEN FOR LOVE in the words that people are saying to us. Sometimes the explicit words are necessary, but more often, the manner of saying things is even more important. A joyous insult carries more affection and love within the sentiments which are expressed insincerely.
An impulsive hug says I LOVE YOU even though the words might be saying very different.
Any expression of a person's concern for another says I love you. Sometimes the expression is clumsy, sometimes even cruel. Sometimes we must look and listen very intently for the love that contains. But it is often there, beneath the surface.
A mother may nag her son constantly about his grades or cleaning his room. The son may hear only the nagging, but if he listens carefully, he will hear the love underneath the nagging. His mother wants him to do well, to be successful. Her concern and love for her son unfortunately emerge in her nagging. But it is love all the same.
A daughter comes home way past her curfew, and her father confronts her with angry words. The daughter may hear only the anger, but if she listen carefully, she will hear the love under the anger. "I was worried about you," the father is saying. 'Because I care about you and I love you. You are important to me.'
We say I love you in many ways - with birthday gifts, and little notes, with smiles and sometimes with tears. Sometimes we show our love by just keeping quiet and not saying a word, at other times by speaking out, even brusquely. We show our love sometimes by impulsiveness. Many times we have to show our love by forgiving someone who has not listened to the love we have tried to express.
The problem in listening for love is that we don't always understand the language of love which the other person is using. A girl may use tears or emotions to say what she wants to say, and her boyfriend may not understand her because he expects her to be talking his language. Thus, we have to force ourselves to really listen for love.
The problem with our world is that people rarely listen to each other. They hear the words, but they don't listen to the actions that accompany the words or the expression on the face. Or people listen only for rejection or misunderstanding. They do not see the love that is there just beneath the surface, even if the words are angry. We have to listen for love in those around us.
If we listen intently we will discover that we are a lot more loved than we realize. Listen for love and we will find that the world is a very loving place, after all.
LOVE is a happy thing.It makes us laugh.It makes us sing.It makes us sad.It makes us cry.It makes us seek the reason why.It makes us take.It makes us give.Above all else it makes us LIVE.
Is your heart with him? Or did I just lose it?
It is really like a stab to the heart to know that while you are alone you are not lonely. That totally negates the purpose of my existence. Perhaps I am not seeing the big picture. In that case can someone just help me with it? Explain to me patiently. I am at a loss but I am strong. Perhaps it is the greatest insult to be with someone just because you pity the person who cannot live without you.
Anyway I shall put on a brave front. Be happy about the whole thing and just let laughter cover my sorrow. As I always do. I laugh when I am most upset. Already I have shown more emotions than I really wish to throughout the whole of this episode. And I fear I might just cave in again and again. SO let me try to focus on what ELSE that really matters. Let me try.
Anyway I shall put on a brave front. Be happy about the whole thing and just let laughter cover my sorrow. As I always do. I laugh when I am most upset. Already I have shown more emotions than I really wish to throughout the whole of this episode. And I fear I might just cave in again and again. SO let me try to focus on what ELSE that really matters. Let me try.
another
So what are the many things that are going on in your life right now that were absent before? In the four years together is this really the more trying period? Piano, Internship, tuitions and what else? So is it because of the restrictions I have placed. The strains that still bear the stress till now....? what is going on?
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