i am ugly

getting ugly. as can be seen from the first picture i posted on moi blog.
saya is the girl in white shirt.
currently i don't have a pic of kiantong. wonder why . maybe he is just
not photogenic..
guess he will counter that by saying i am fat .

saya and kiantong...

how lovely. both think that my blog is about love.
i don't see where in any of my entries did I even mention that word.
i know that saya and kiantong are not eng lit majors. one is
an engineer and one is a science teacher.
and I do not think kiantong even told me my blog is all
about love. he must have told saya privately.
anyway i don' tthink both of them would have time for my blog....
they should spend more time with each other.
:d
hmm i wonder if kiantong or saya even blogs....
anyway i wouldnt have time or enough time to waste...
so long!

my feelings

窗外阴天了 音乐低声了 我的心开始想你了 灯光也暗了 音乐低声了 口中的棉花糖也融化了 窗外阴天了 人是无聊了 我的心开始想你了 电话响起了 你要说话了 还以为你心里对我又想念了 怎么你声音变得冷淡了 是你变了 是你变了 灯光熄灭了 音乐静止了 滴下的眼泪已停不住了 天下起雨了 人是不快乐 我的心真的受伤了
feelings : blue and grey. somewhat an evening color. The part of evening when the sun cannot be seen anymore. The orange tinge over the horizon disappears. No more shadows casted onto the ground to your side. The part of the evening when no one seems to have any color except different shades of grey. But these shades represent a whole magnitude of loneliness.
it feels sad but not overwhelming. Abit of drizzle. How appropriate. Tears. The same feelings. Not many. Just one or two drops. that sort of feeling.
it does not last for long. the night replaces the twilight. silently. i fell asleep on the bus. when i woke, the bus was already turning into sengkang. the music repeats itself over and over.. the same music before night arrived..

Managed to confirm 16 of my friends believed what I write on my blog

While mostly what i post here is believeable and true, I recently added in an entry claiming to have an heir. So many gullible pals thought I really meant what I wrote and started sending me regards and enquiring about my son.
Sad and sorry to inform all of you that it was just a hoax. after all a blog is a place where you can freely write what happens in your life or in your mind.
that entry just happen to be what came across my mind and i felt it would be interesting noting reponses from my shocked friends. More intriguing though, would be the private discussions held among my various clinques of friends on that relevation of first of nov .
so i had my fun. after all, ain't it not consistent with my germane nature. to come up with a little teaser from time to time? too bad for those wanting to see my kid, you guys have to wait till 5 years later when my wife really give birth to one!
as they say, trust not what is said, nor believe what is before your eyes. the truth lies beyond the edge of the sky.

the figures are rising

I love a good little joke from time to time..
on the last count, 12 people have already.....
haha this is interesting
shall see how many more fools are there around.
:D

Soaring.

Newspaper collection, car washing, cookies baking and plenty of snacks selling.
My yunnan trip is turning out to be a really fun and rewarding.
think we managed to raise a quarter of our target. ten thousand is a large amount.
i shall be heading for Yunnan on 17 dec, spending christmas there and returning
on the last day of the day.
another trip where i can put down everything and have fun.
of coz to fulfill the purpose of the mission. to share and care for the children in the village
and the elderly in the leprosy village.
if only there is a fund granted for our trip. but perhaps that would take the fun
away.
i am glad my lucky stars. a scholarship. I had always thought there were no scholarships around.
17000... 1 down and 4 more years to go.
Judo ended training for this sem. on a high note for me.
i am doing well with only one functional hand.
won my last two games in less than ten seconds. back to around 60% of my best form.
time to mug. exams soon. but it seems so easy. 1 hour for biochem. 30 mcqs.
but then there is anatomy and physiology and histology.
almost a few thousands pages worth of notes to mug.
haha i shall puke from these intense amount of studying.

leave worries to worries. i shall live my life the way i want.
pursue the happiness that are found in every day 's joy.

my son

today was the happiest day i ever had in a long time.
my son turned 1 year old. i had a hard time convincing evon's parents
to let me see him.
i hope she is leading the life she wants at Stanford. I would
have given up everything to join her. But I dont think
she would take to that idea kindly.
I had already derailed her plans and ambitions for a year, how can I
be so selfish again.and i simply occupy no space in her life.
the past year was a horrible one.
how many quarrels. how many accusations from everyone.
i was rash and we were careless. there were plenty of tears and
unhappiness, all of which tore my heart apart.
at least we managed to move on with our lives.
both of us pursuing our dreams, separately.
the only memory i have now of our relationship is him.
he is adorable. her parents take care of him. it must be hard.
i wish i can do my part.
but my parents will kill me. and do i have the abilities to
raise a child on my own?
maybe when he grows up. he will treat me as his much older brother.
i simply cannot believe what i have done even until now.
brought a life into the world. yet unable to provide for .
i miss her. yet i have no right to barge into her new life.
think kai will forever remain the looking glass for me into her life.