nothing could aptly describe. no one can rightly challenge. no soul could seemly defy. welcome to my world. where i make the rules and you stick by them.

About Me

Standing by, All the way. Here to help you through your day. Holding you up, When you are weak, Helping you find what it is you seek. Catching your tears, When you cry. Pulling you through when the tide is high. Absorbing your voice When you talk. Standing by when you learn to walk. Just being there, Through thick and thin, All just to say, you are my friend.

Monday, December 31, 2007

am typing this on the bus. It is the only time where I can ignore everything I am going n just blog. I used to blog when iam stressed. Not anymore because I have reached new level of decadence, stress is altogether foreign to me when I have not been doing any work. Irealy must change, but how? Maybe I will wait until I am done with His Dark material trilogy. I was just sending everyone messages to update my phone number. There are some people in my phone whom I have not talked to in ages. Some important, some not. And I did not update everyone , just those more likely to contact me, even so I don't think many would. I spent another morning in bed, when I should really be sticking my fat face into those notes of mine. I shall get christmas present for some of the yn people, those whom I am closer to! There is a general gift exchange, but some people who are really nice to me wil get something. Maybe I am turning into santa claus. Always making merry but doing nothing significant. Hm, maybe making merry is.. Well I can only hope so. I am back at giving tuition after a three weeks break, jesslyn itntroduced her dad's fren to me. I do not usualy teach guys and he is sec three. But the dad just kept persuading me, in the end he used money to do the talking and I relented at fifty per hour. I am just glad I never spent much money on my education. I think I made quite a neat sum with all the scholarships bursaries n tuitions out of my education. Though it is fast becoming insufficient. I think I need other sources of income. I am going to tap into my neighbourhod. I used to think that there is a potenti gradient for money flow, it flows from those who are more stupid to those who are less. Higher to lower, there is a potential gradient. But maybe intelligence along is not really sufficient if u ned a lot of money. Guile n disxipline and some otber qualities are essential as well. I am still finding out. I used to be quite lousy at finding places for dinner last time. I stupidly went to edo sushi at paradiz for dinner with a fren when it is available somewhere nearer. I just received a helo how are u message from that fren, that made me think abit. Anyway I just went to the triple three restaurant for a nice and costly christmas dinner. Well, not exactly christmas, but most of the things are there. Lotsa chocolates, turkey, christmas trees and logcake! It is a meal that is realy bad for the waistline, heart n wallet. I almost wanted to bring my mum to another buffet tonight. But she rather w the whole family go for a new year dinner when I come back. I can't wait for another meal at merius mandarin or marina mandarin.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Monday, December 03, 2007

mobile blogging

I m sitting at starbucks at compasspoint. with my tytn in hand n pharmaco textbk in my lap, its not hard to choose which one to pay more attention to. I have been having some weird dreams lately. a good friend of mine who went overseas for studies shld be back already. it has been a real long time since I met him. mayb just one of these days I shld drop by n say hi to his family. the weird dream was abt him. I dreamt that he had a sex change n is now a really gorgeous woman, I had wondered how I shld tell my mum abt this. thankfully its only a dream. another dream of mine involved myself. ihad killed someone n the cops are after me. I was raly disturbed by it, n u could guess my relief when I woke up. the thot of losing every thing I have now is so depressing. I just had a haircut at supercut. my first time in a salon. the wash n massage before the cut was good. I almost fell asleep becoz I was too comfortable. why m I doing there instead of studying? I always have the urgve to spend when I m very stresed, like just b4 a test or the exams. anyway it was a guy who washed my hair, n I rather enjoy his touch. shld I ask for a girl next time? went to the dentist with my dad before the haircut. he had wanted to extract three teeth bt the dentist required his inr time. oh my anticoagulation topic, it is starring hard at me to read it. tonight I will bring dad to the clinic for his test. the music at starbucks is really gd. abit of jazz n country pop. now the christmas songs are blarring. I am dreamng of a white christmas. this year's christmas is again at yunnan. perhaps it will snow. then it will be really romantic except there no one to be romancing with. I have four tickets to the golden compass, n it could be six if the first book arrives this week. maybe I could give them to yx n char. she would enoy the outing with him. I suddenly wonder if they had gone for a movie together before. or is it just BS all the way. btw, bs is biblestudy, not some type of cow excrement. I guess thhe churches in america are calling the movie antichrist n it is promoting athetism. I think what the author is doing is just trying to point out that absolute power corrupts. when it comes to religion, independent thinking n a degree of skeptism is required. the bible or scriptures might be misinterpretated by man because we are not perfect. it can even be abused for political gains. trust not the folly of men. rudolp the red nose reindeer needs some chlorphenicol. will the reindeer get anaphylaxis easier? well, I shall just enjoy the music n get back to the books.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid958992159/bctid1326439365

Mourinho - Come and get me

Jose Mourinho is ready and willing to talk to the Football Association about becoming the new England manager.



The former Chelsea boss has emerged as the fans' favourite to take over the reins from Steve McClaren, who was dismissed last week after his failure to lead England to the Euro 2008 finals.


FA chief executive Brian Barwick is set to begin his hunt for England's new boss within the next week - and Mourinho admits he would welcome an approach.


"You will have to speak to the FA to see if they are interested in offering me the job," he told The Sun.


"I cannot say what I think until they say they are interested. Tell the FA to come and get me.


"We will have to wait and see, but I rule nothing out."

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Starry, starry night. Paint your palette blue and grey, Look out on a summer's day, With eyes that know the darkness in my soul. Shadows on the hills, Sketch the trees and the daffodils, Catch the breeze and the winter chills, In colors on the snowy linen land.
Now I understand what you tried to say to me, How you suffered for your sanity, How you tried to set them free. They would not listen, they did not know how. Perhaps they'll listen now.
Starry, starry night. Flaming flowers that brightly blaze, Swirling clouds in violet haze, Reflect in Vincent's eyes of china blue. Colors changing hue, morning fields of amber grain, Weathered faces lined in pain, Are soothed beneath the artist's loving hand.
Now I understand what you tried to say to me, How you suffered for your sanity, How you tried to set them free. They would not listen, they did not know how. Perhaps they'll listen now.
For they could not love you, But still your love was true. And when no hope was left in sight On that starry, starry night, You took your life, as lovers often do. But I could have told you, Vincent, This world was never meant for one As beautiful as you.
Starry, starry night. Portraits hung in empty halls, Frameless head on nameless walls, With eyes that watch the world and can't forget. Like the strangers that you've met, The ragged men in the ragged clothes, The silver thorn of bloody rose, Lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow.
Now I think I know what you tried to say to me, How you suffered for your sanity, How you tried to set them free. They would not listen, they're not listening still. Perhaps they never will...

Thursday, October 11, 2007

hold you till I die... till we break down and cry

You ask me if I love youAnd I choke on my replyI'd rather hurt you honestlyThan mislead you with a lieAnd who am I to judge youOn what you say or do?I'm only just beginning to see the real youAnd sometimes when we touchThe honesty's too muchAnd I have to close my eyes and hideI wanna hold you til I dieTil we both break down and cryI wanna hold you till the fear in me subsidesRomance and all its strategyLeaves me battling with my prideBut through the insecurity Some tenderness survivesI'm just another writerStill trapped within my truthA hesitant prize fighterStill trapped within my youthAnd sometimes when we touchThe honesty's too muchAnd I have to close my eyes and hideI wanna hold you til I dieTil we both break down and cryI wanna hold you till the fear in me subsidesAt times I'd like to break you And drive you to your kneesAt times I'd like to break throughAnd hold you endlesslyAt times I understand you And I know how hard you've triedI've watched while love commands youAnd I've watched love pass you byAt times I think we're driftersStill searching for a friendA brother or a sisterBut then the passion flares againAnd sometimes when we touchThe honesty's too muchAnd I have to close my eyes and hideI wanna hold you til I dieTil we both break down and cryI wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

Sunday, October 07, 2007

Are you Headed for Zoar?

Are you Headed for Zoar?
Obeying God is often easier said than done. We can all fall into the trap of trying to ‘bargain’ with God, particularly during
those times when He impresses us to do the things we would rather avoid.
In Genesis chapter 19, we read about the frightening destruction of the twin cities, Sodom and Gomorrah. We also read
about the mercy God shows to one man and his family. As we read the chapter, it becomes apparent that the man in question, Lot,
was a person who lived ‘carelessly.’ This is seen in the way he had put himself in a vulnerable position, by living in a ‘bad
neighbourhood’ where every kind of sexual perversion surrounded him. Lot’s life in Sodom was indeed a daily confrontation with
temptation and licentiousness.
However, to his credit, Lot lived differently from the rest of Sodom’s inhabitants. He was a man who sought to live a righteous
life before God. Then one day, two visitors to Sodom knocked on Lot’s door to deliver a ‘life-changing message’ to him. These
visitors turned out to be angelic hosts, sent by God to rescue Lot and his family from the impending judgment against Sodom and
Gomorrah for their mounting wickedness.
While the angels were delivering the message, the depraved men of Sodom suddenly encircled Lot’s house, and threatened to
violently enter his home, with the intention of sexually violating Lot’s visitors. In his attempt to be a ‘good host’, Lot pleaded with
the men to take his two daughters instead. God intervened before the horror could unfold and the angels ‘blinded’ and ‘confused’
the men of Sodom, so they could not even find the door to Lot’s home (v.11).
God’s angels then urged Lot to escape to the mountains with his family, so to avoid the imminent destruction of their home
(v.17). But instead of submitting to God’s plan willingly, Lot pleaded to be allowed to go to Zoar, a small town nearby. The reason
he offered was that he did not ‘have time’ to get to the mountains, before the full brunt of God’s judgement upon Sodom
overshadowed him. Lot’s insistence clearly demonstrated his lack of trust in God’s ability to lead and guide him and his family
safely to the mountains. Eventually, the angels gave in to Lot’s repeated requests and allowed him to go to Zoar.
Before we are quick to judge Lot for his lack of faith, we need to pause and examine our own hearts. If we are honest, we would
admit that we too are vulnerable to ‘contesting’ with God over His directions for our lives. At times, we think we know better than
Him, particularly when He leads us away from something we desire such as a ‘work promotion’ or a ‘relationship’ we are keen to
pursue. Sometimes, it may appear that God wants to ‘rain on our barbeque’ by sending us to the mountains instead of letting us go
to Zoar. The point to remember is that God knows what is best for us; in return, He only asks us to trust and obey His plan for us.
For Lot, the mountains represented an ‘unknown’ and distant place, he was unfamiliar with. Zoar, however, represented a place
of ‘security’ and comfort. The mountains would have required Lot to step outside the realm of his own comfort zone and to venture
into something new, whereas Zoar would be far more predictable.
Travelling to Zoar was not God’s original intention for Lot. The problem was that Lot thought he could have everything his own
way. However, his insistence to go to Zoar would later have serious consequences.
And so it is in our walk with God, that our integrity is demonstrated not in how often we attend church or how often we read the
Bible, but in whether we truly ‘submit’ to His will. Jesus taught us that submission to God may inconvenience us, or may even cost
us our lives. On the eve of His arrest, Jesus embraced the awfulness of what lay ahead for Him, because He was willing to submit
to the will of the Father. He had come to a place where He could declare, “Not my will, but Yours be done” (Matthew 26:39).
The second part of the angel’s message to Lot was that he and his family were not to “look back” to Sodom after leaving.
However, Lot’s wife seemingly could not resist a quick glance behind her shoulder as they fled the city. Judgement fell instantly on
her for disobeying God and she was turned into a “pillar of salt” (v.26).
It appears that Lot’s careless lifestyle had negatively influenced his family, seen in the way Lot’s wife had “turned back” to
follow her own curious desire rather than the Lord’s command. Eventually, carelessness would also show up in the lives of Lot’s
daughters who would go on to marry men who held no respect for the Lord.
Lot and his two remaining daughters eventually arrived in Zoar. It is interesting that the name Zoar means “bringing low”, and it
would be in Zoar where Lot would indeed be ‘brought low.’ This is the town where Lot’s two daughters would later get him drunk,
with the intention of leading him to commit incest with them, so that they could bear children from him (vv.30-38).
In short, Lot’s life stands as an example of the inherent dangers of living a ‘careless’ and ‘compromised’ life. It offers a lesson
on the problems which can beset a person who refuses to submit to God’s leading.
The careless life which Lot lived meant he was unable to leave behind a great ‘legacy’ for future generations to read about.
He drifted from being ‘named’ with Abraham, the giant of faith, (who had also tried to help him earlier), into being someone who
failed to amount to much. In like manner, he finished up in Zoar because he had ‘always’ contested God as to where he was to live.
When we fail to obey God’s direction completely, we leave ourselves wide open to our own ‘sinful’ tendencies which are often
destructive. If you find yourself resisting God’s will, it may be a good time to ask, “Do I really believe that God knows what is best
for my life?” If you can answer ‘yes’ now is a good time to begin demonstrating your trust in God by venturing to the places He
directs you.

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Drogba back on target

Valencia 1-2 Chelsea: Drogba back on target

Chelsea got their Champions League campaign back on track tonight with a hard-fought victory over Valencia at the Mestalla, a ground which is fast becoming a favourite haunt for the Blues.


Playing at the same venue where six months ago they had knocked out Valencia to progress through to the semi-finals of this competition, Chelsea overcame their recent troubles to match their 2-1 win from last time.


In identical fashion to that game last season, Chelsea needed to overcome a goal deficit, with Valencia took the lead taking an early lead through David Villa.


Joe Cole and Didier Drogba hit back with goals for Chelsea though as the London outfit, who had not found the net in their last four Barclays Premier League matches, bounced back from their disappointing home draw with Rosenborg in their opening Group B match.


Playing in their first European game since the departure of Jose Mourinho, who had led the club into two Champions League semi-finals in three years, Chelsea received a pre-match boost when they were able to call on John Terry, Ricardo Carvalho and Michael Essien for the fixture.


Terry was wearing a protective mask after suffering a broken cheekbone against Fulham at the weekend, while defensive partner Carvalho was making his first appearance since the opening week of the season.


Midfield powerhouse Essien, whose last-gasp goal here last season helped Chelsea eliminate Valenci, was also included in Avram Grant's starting line-up after shaking off a calf problem.


Spain international David Silva gave a warning of what was to come as he fired a decent opening wide in the first couple of minutes - but Chelsea were not so fortunate with Valencia's next foray forward as Villa gave the hosts a ninth minute lead.


The prolific hitman took advantage of a ricochet off Essien that saw the ball break into the Chelsea area, speeding beyond a static-looking Blues defence before clinically slotting the ball past Petr Cech.


Chelsea responded with an effort from Drogba that was deflected just wide, while Carvalho will probably feel he should have done better after getting his head to the resulting corner.


Joaquin Sanchez almost threaded his shot through Cech's legs, with the giant goalkeeper just managing to save his side.


Almost immediately, Chelsea went down the other end and stunned the home crowd by equalising in the 21st minute.


Florent Malouda and Drogba combined well down the left and the Frenchman, having broken into the area, fired in a low cross that was turned home by Joe Cole, under pressure from Emiliano Moretti.


Villa saw a couple of efforts flash just wide of Cech's goal but Grant's men weathered that storm and Valencia found it much more difficult to get in behind the visitors' backline in the lead-up to half-time, which saw the teams go in level at 1-1.


Chelsea started the second half much more confidently than the first but Valencia thought they had reclaimed the lead in the 56th minute when Villa smashed the ball in from just inside the area - but an offside flag came to the Blues' rescue.


With his side struggling to match their dominance of the first half, Valencia coach Quique Sanchez Flores sent on giant Serbian striker Nikola Zigic for Fernando Morientes in the 69th minute.


Zigic had been on the pitch only a matter of moments when Chelsea took the lead through Drogba in the 71st minute.


Joe Cole threaded a brilliant pass through and Drogba outpaced marker Raul Albiol before thundering a left-footed shot past Timo Hildebrand in the home goal.


Silva fired in a dipping shot that had the crowd interested, if not Cech, who watched the ball sail over his crossbar.


With the game slipping away, Valencia started pushing more men forward and Marchena had a shooting chance in the 87th minute following a miskick from team-mate Villa.


Marchena's effort from the edge of the area was much better than his earlier one - which went well wide of goal - but it still failed to hit the target as Chelsea were able to breath a sigh of relief.


Valencia laid siege to the Chelsea goal in the dying seconds, but Ruben Baraja fired straight at Cech with the final touch of the match as the Blues held on for a welcome victory.

Monday, October 01, 2007

Saturday, September 22, 2007

http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid958992159/bctid1201929083

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Jose Mourinho

I can't say I was that shocked when the news broke that Jose Mourinho had left Chelsea.
I did think it might have happened in the summer or at the end of the season because of all the talk that's been going on for a while, but I don't think anyone would have been overly surprised.
But the timing of it? Five games into the season, with Manchester United coming up? That was the biggest shock.
Something has clearly gone on since the draw with Rosenborg on Tuesday, even if relations between Mourinho and Roman Abramovich have not been that great for some time.
And it is very, very strange, because after all Abramovich was the man who appointed him.
Like the rest of us, I have no idea what has gone on behind the scenes.
Maybe it is a case of the club not being big enough for two big egos, but from the outside at least, Abramovich has kept himself to himself and not courted publicity or craved the television cameras. Whether or not that is the case privately, we none of us know.
The timing is also strange because it leaves the club in limbo. Lists of possible successors are always drawn up immediately, but right now no suitable and available replacement really springs to mind.
And don't forget, Jose Mourinho won two back-to-back titles in his first two years at a club that had not won the league for 50 years.
Spot-on
I don't know who Chelsea have in mind to succeed him, but I can guarantee one thing - the new man will not come in and win two Premier League titles in his first two seasons.
People might say those titles were bought a little bit, but Mourinho still had to pick the right team, get his tactics spot-on and beat Arsenal, Liverpool and in particular Manchester United.
Now, if they think there's another guy out there that can match that, then the only place they are going to find him is at Old Trafford or The Emirates.
Much has been made of Abramovich wanting Chelsea to play with so-called style as well, but people have short memories. I remember them setting records in Mourinho's first season for the most number of wins and most number of goals. You don't do that playing boring football.
Maybe there has been a slight shift in the way they play and their personnel, but I would love to know just how much interference in that there has been from elsewhere in the club.
I would also love to know just whose decision it was to buy certain players, because I don't think for a minute Jose went to the board and demanded 'I want Andriy Shevchenko, I want Michael Ballack'.
He has of course brought plenty of players to the club and there is no doubt he was very, very close to his squad. If you were part of the Mourinho fold you got his 100 per cent support and backing, publicly as well as privately.
Wondering
His departure will have an affect on senior pros like John Terry and Frank Lampard, as well as those he has brought into the club like Ricardo Carvalho, Michael Essien, Ashley Cole and Didier Drogba. But they cannot afford to sulk at Old Trafford on Sunday.
Jose Mourinho never paid their wages, Chelsea Football Club did. Their only loyalty is to those Chelsea fans who are, like the rest of us, wondering what has gone on behind the scenes. That is the bottom line.
I don't want to hear any excuses, or anyone saying 'what did you expect when you sack the manager?'.
As for where the 'Special One' turns up next, your guess is as good as mine. I would love to see him back in the Premier League though, because he has been great for our game.
I'll admit he borders on the arrogant and he has made mistakes, as we all have, in any walk of life. He is still a new manager after all.
But what he did was come in and ruffle the feathers of the top boys in the Premier League, which they probably needed. He was always entertaining in the press and was always good for a soundbite - even right to the last with his eggs and omelettes.
Say what you like about him, but Jose Mourinho never disappointed.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007